For hc_bingo.
Aug. 13th, 2017 08:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: In His Eyes
Summary: In Poe's eyes, Ben is so much better than he makes himself out to be.
Prompt: Wild Card -- Forbidden Love
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
They shouldn't love each other, shouldn't be marrying. At least, that's what the Jedi Order seems to think. Ben can still hear the whispers that surround him even as he tries to get through the day. There's a ring on his finger. Dameron's ring.
It's his fault, leading Solo off the path of the Light.
What about Master Skywalker?
Far from innocent either; never should have married. Now his nephew's flouting the Code, that spoiled, selfish little brat...
Ben hugs himself tightly, wishing that he could make himself small. He can't, of course, but he wants to. He can feel their scorn, their scrutiny and judgment, and even with the anger, there's a sort of shame. Not enough for him to call off the wedding to Poe -- he just can't -- but the shame is there nonetheless. He's an adult now and the scrutiny still gives him a desire to all but make himself small. To shrink, so he can protect himself from the scrutiny.
It's at Poe's home that he feels safe, but he still can't help but hear the memories of all those voices that followed him today. Spoiled selfish little brat spoiled selfish little brat --
"Ben?" Poe's voice, stirring him away from his thoughts. "Are you okay?"
"It's..." Ben knows that he's absolutely terrible at acting like everything's fine. He always has. Wearing his emotions like a Holonet banner, as Master Naris would say. (Among other things)
"Did something happen?" Poe says.
Eventually, Ben nods.
"It was the Order, wasn't it?"
Another nod.
"Don't they have anything better to do than discuss our engagement?" Poe says. "Honestly."
"I'm different. They hate that."
"You're wonderful."
"Poe -- " He's not wonderful. He can't be wonderful. Poe's the wonderful one, not him.
"Angel. Look at me, angel."
Ben does, and Poe's eyes are practically shining. "I love you. I love you so very much. I don't regret the fact I'm going to marry you for a moment, because there's no one else I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. I don't care if it's long or short, I don't care if we grow old together or if I end up dying tomorrow -- I'd only worry about you. But having you in my life means I've lived it well."
"The same with you." Ben wets his lips. "Don't die."
"I'm not planning on it for a long time," and as Poe says it, he smiles a sort of cocky smile that reminds Ben of when he's about to do something particularly daring. "Don't worry. But yes...the fact that you're in my life is one of the best things about it. Just...reach out to me, Ben. Reach out to me, and you'll see how I see you."
Ben does, tentatively, chasing the first image -- Poe showing Ben around the inside of his mother's A-Wing, back when Shara Bey was still alive -- and from there, he falls into a sea of memories, a whole ocean of adoration.
From Poe's perspective, he looks almost radiant -- he hasn't realized that Poe finds his laugh to be that beautiful, or his freckles and hand gestures that endearing. He is definitely glad that he's managed to do what he can just to soothe Poe during his nightmares or flashbacks -- anything to safeguard that wonderful, sunny man that Ben loves with all his heart. But the rest...
From Poe's perspective, he might as well be an angel.
When the memories stop, Ben says, with tears in his eyes, "You...you do too much for me."
"It's the truth," Poe says. "You are an angel to me, Ben. Always."
The first tear slips out of Ben's eye, and Poe tenderly wipes it away with his thumb. "Don't cry."
Ben relaxes into Poe's touch. "I'm not an angel."
"You're my angel," Poe says. "Forever."
And Poe will be his angel, in turn, forever.
Summary: In Poe's eyes, Ben is so much better than he makes himself out to be.
Prompt: Wild Card -- Forbidden Love
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
They shouldn't love each other, shouldn't be marrying. At least, that's what the Jedi Order seems to think. Ben can still hear the whispers that surround him even as he tries to get through the day. There's a ring on his finger. Dameron's ring.
It's his fault, leading Solo off the path of the Light.
What about Master Skywalker?
Far from innocent either; never should have married. Now his nephew's flouting the Code, that spoiled, selfish little brat...
Ben hugs himself tightly, wishing that he could make himself small. He can't, of course, but he wants to. He can feel their scorn, their scrutiny and judgment, and even with the anger, there's a sort of shame. Not enough for him to call off the wedding to Poe -- he just can't -- but the shame is there nonetheless. He's an adult now and the scrutiny still gives him a desire to all but make himself small. To shrink, so he can protect himself from the scrutiny.
It's at Poe's home that he feels safe, but he still can't help but hear the memories of all those voices that followed him today. Spoiled selfish little brat spoiled selfish little brat --
"Ben?" Poe's voice, stirring him away from his thoughts. "Are you okay?"
"It's..." Ben knows that he's absolutely terrible at acting like everything's fine. He always has. Wearing his emotions like a Holonet banner, as Master Naris would say. (Among other things)
"Did something happen?" Poe says.
Eventually, Ben nods.
"It was the Order, wasn't it?"
Another nod.
"Don't they have anything better to do than discuss our engagement?" Poe says. "Honestly."
"I'm different. They hate that."
"You're wonderful."
"Poe -- " He's not wonderful. He can't be wonderful. Poe's the wonderful one, not him.
"Angel. Look at me, angel."
Ben does, and Poe's eyes are practically shining. "I love you. I love you so very much. I don't regret the fact I'm going to marry you for a moment, because there's no one else I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. I don't care if it's long or short, I don't care if we grow old together or if I end up dying tomorrow -- I'd only worry about you. But having you in my life means I've lived it well."
"The same with you." Ben wets his lips. "Don't die."
"I'm not planning on it for a long time," and as Poe says it, he smiles a sort of cocky smile that reminds Ben of when he's about to do something particularly daring. "Don't worry. But yes...the fact that you're in my life is one of the best things about it. Just...reach out to me, Ben. Reach out to me, and you'll see how I see you."
Ben does, tentatively, chasing the first image -- Poe showing Ben around the inside of his mother's A-Wing, back when Shara Bey was still alive -- and from there, he falls into a sea of memories, a whole ocean of adoration.
From Poe's perspective, he looks almost radiant -- he hasn't realized that Poe finds his laugh to be that beautiful, or his freckles and hand gestures that endearing. He is definitely glad that he's managed to do what he can just to soothe Poe during his nightmares or flashbacks -- anything to safeguard that wonderful, sunny man that Ben loves with all his heart. But the rest...
From Poe's perspective, he might as well be an angel.
When the memories stop, Ben says, with tears in his eyes, "You...you do too much for me."
"It's the truth," Poe says. "You are an angel to me, Ben. Always."
The first tear slips out of Ben's eye, and Poe tenderly wipes it away with his thumb. "Don't cry."
Ben relaxes into Poe's touch. "I'm not an angel."
"You're my angel," Poe says. "Forever."
And Poe will be his angel, in turn, forever.
