For HC_Bingo
Jul. 11th, 2017 04:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Nobody, Somebody
Summary: After the duel with her cousin on Bespin, Rey struggles to come to grips.
Prompt: Hugs
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I hope that I got Rey in character.
Putting together a new lightsaber was just a matter of looking over the instructions, looking over the crystals that Rey had found on Ach-To.
(Except she couldn't call herself Rey anymore, could she? Who was she, in the end? Rey No-One? Jaina Skywalker? Even that matter of identity was difficult. And that was putting it mildly, actually)
In a way, constructing the lightsaber after Anakin's had been lost again was soothing. It was just a matter of focusing on logistics. Focusing on how to construct the double blade. Lightsabers were a lot like melee weapons; Rey knew that it had been her skill with melee weapons that had saved her on Starkiller. From there, from mimicking what Kylo Ren was doing, it was easy.
Kylo Ren. All this time, he had been her cousin.
She was Luke Skywalker's daughter.
And from there, more memories flowed out. Her, a toddler at the time, excitedly babbling to Ben about lifting a rock. It wasn't clear -- were memories of toddlerhood ever clear? -- but there was the matter of excitement, of wanting Ben to respect her, to be proud of her.
And Ben's smile -- his grin that could have outshone the sun on Jakku.
He had been proud of her once. As a girl, Jaina had wanted him to be proud of her. A little girl with her mother's looks and some of her father's flaws, wanting Ben to respect her. Which he gave freely.
"Rey?"
Finn's voice. Rey looked up from where she was constructing her lightsaber. She had finished. She ignited it, examining both silver blades, before putting it down, deactivating it.
She turned to look at him in that moment. "Hi."
"Are you doing all right?"
That question. People had rarely asked that question of her. Unkar Plutt certainly didn't care. He cared as much as she could get things for him, but that was it. Actually -- no one had asked her if she was okay. Not on Jakku, at least.
Where would she be without her friends, if Finn and Poe hadn't crash-landed on Jakku? (Well, she had met Poe later, but even so...) She likely would have still been stuck on Jakku, waiting for her family to come back, clinging to a child's fantasy, a fairytale that never really was. Luke had come back. But not the one who left her there. And not her mother. Her mother was dead.
Kylo Ren had killed her. Another thing she would never forgive him for.
Rey took a deep breath. "I'm not," she said.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
How would she even begin? "Kylo Ren...confronted me on Bespin. We fought. He actually wasn't angry about what I did to him on Starkiller; in fact, he was actually proud of me." Even that thought was repulsive. She didn't want that monster, that murderer, proud of her, like it was just another one of his lessons that she had passed with flying colors. "During the duel, I learned that we were cousins." Her voice cracked.
She waited for Finn's reaction.
And then, suddenly, she was drawn into a hug, as she had drawn him into one after he had come back for her.
"Finn..." she said. "I don't want this. It's so...big."
"It doesn't change a thing about you. You're a great person. A wonderful person. You and Poe..." Finn drew away briefly to look her in the eyes. "To be honest, I don't know where I'd be without you and Poe. The both of you...you looked at me as no one else had. Without both of you..." He trailed off, almost as if the very idea was unthinkable.
"Yeah." In the end, that was all Rey could say.
Silence fell. Then Finn spoke. "Rey, there's actually something I want to tell you."
"What?"
"I don't know if it's the time, but...I love you, Rey."
I love you. There had been times when Rey had thought about it, fantasized about it (even though she wasn't sure if that was allowed. It was one of those things that didn't make sense about the old Jedi Order. So much that didn't make sense), but she never thought that it would actually become a reality.
"I do too." Rey wet her lips, feeling suddenly very vulnerable. "I love you."
They embraced again. And in that moment, Rey knew she was far from alone. It was going to be a hard road up ahead, but Rey knew that she could face it. She had faced worse than this. And with Finn by her side, she knew she wasn't alone. And he would never abandon her like others had.
They remained in that embrace for some time, sheltering the other from the invisible storm outside.
Summary: After the duel with her cousin on Bespin, Rey struggles to come to grips.
Prompt: Hugs
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I hope that I got Rey in character.
Putting together a new lightsaber was just a matter of looking over the instructions, looking over the crystals that Rey had found on Ach-To.
(Except she couldn't call herself Rey anymore, could she? Who was she, in the end? Rey No-One? Jaina Skywalker? Even that matter of identity was difficult. And that was putting it mildly, actually)
In a way, constructing the lightsaber after Anakin's had been lost again was soothing. It was just a matter of focusing on logistics. Focusing on how to construct the double blade. Lightsabers were a lot like melee weapons; Rey knew that it had been her skill with melee weapons that had saved her on Starkiller. From there, from mimicking what Kylo Ren was doing, it was easy.
Kylo Ren. All this time, he had been her cousin.
She was Luke Skywalker's daughter.
And from there, more memories flowed out. Her, a toddler at the time, excitedly babbling to Ben about lifting a rock. It wasn't clear -- were memories of toddlerhood ever clear? -- but there was the matter of excitement, of wanting Ben to respect her, to be proud of her.
And Ben's smile -- his grin that could have outshone the sun on Jakku.
He had been proud of her once. As a girl, Jaina had wanted him to be proud of her. A little girl with her mother's looks and some of her father's flaws, wanting Ben to respect her. Which he gave freely.
"Rey?"
Finn's voice. Rey looked up from where she was constructing her lightsaber. She had finished. She ignited it, examining both silver blades, before putting it down, deactivating it.
She turned to look at him in that moment. "Hi."
"Are you doing all right?"
That question. People had rarely asked that question of her. Unkar Plutt certainly didn't care. He cared as much as she could get things for him, but that was it. Actually -- no one had asked her if she was okay. Not on Jakku, at least.
Where would she be without her friends, if Finn and Poe hadn't crash-landed on Jakku? (Well, she had met Poe later, but even so...) She likely would have still been stuck on Jakku, waiting for her family to come back, clinging to a child's fantasy, a fairytale that never really was. Luke had come back. But not the one who left her there. And not her mother. Her mother was dead.
Kylo Ren had killed her. Another thing she would never forgive him for.
Rey took a deep breath. "I'm not," she said.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
How would she even begin? "Kylo Ren...confronted me on Bespin. We fought. He actually wasn't angry about what I did to him on Starkiller; in fact, he was actually proud of me." Even that thought was repulsive. She didn't want that monster, that murderer, proud of her, like it was just another one of his lessons that she had passed with flying colors. "During the duel, I learned that we were cousins." Her voice cracked.
She waited for Finn's reaction.
And then, suddenly, she was drawn into a hug, as she had drawn him into one after he had come back for her.
"Finn..." she said. "I don't want this. It's so...big."
"It doesn't change a thing about you. You're a great person. A wonderful person. You and Poe..." Finn drew away briefly to look her in the eyes. "To be honest, I don't know where I'd be without you and Poe. The both of you...you looked at me as no one else had. Without both of you..." He trailed off, almost as if the very idea was unthinkable.
"Yeah." In the end, that was all Rey could say.
Silence fell. Then Finn spoke. "Rey, there's actually something I want to tell you."
"What?"
"I don't know if it's the time, but...I love you, Rey."
I love you. There had been times when Rey had thought about it, fantasized about it (even though she wasn't sure if that was allowed. It was one of those things that didn't make sense about the old Jedi Order. So much that didn't make sense), but she never thought that it would actually become a reality.
"I do too." Rey wet her lips, feeling suddenly very vulnerable. "I love you."
They embraced again. And in that moment, Rey knew she was far from alone. It was going to be a hard road up ahead, but Rey knew that she could face it. She had faced worse than this. And with Finn by her side, she knew she wasn't alone. And he would never abandon her like others had.
They remained in that embrace for some time, sheltering the other from the invisible storm outside.
