First trope_bingo act!

[ladyofleithian]

Title: Ten Steps To Keep Going

Summary: Though traveling on his own is all well and good, the journey is made more bearable with company. Star Wars/Doctor Who fusion.

Prompt: Fusion.

Disclaimer: I don't own shit.

Author's Notes: Let's say that I wanted to do this for quite a while, but I'll admit that I didn't really know how to do it. Anyway, hope it's good, at least. (BTW, that Life Day cracker joke? I'll admit, I kind of found that on Twitter; it was so silly I had to share)



1. He'd never wanted to do this.

He had had some problems with the Council in the past. If nothing else, to say he had had problems with them would be an understatement. They were willing to take just about everything from him -- ready to put him on trial in order to cover up a murder that they had committed, for one thing, and ready to force a regeneration on him when he had asked for their help in dealing with the Supreme Overlord Shimmra, for another thing. He'd had to deal with the matter of Palpatine himself being willing to all but violate his mind and use him as a puppet if only to ascend a position as Chancellor that was never his.

But this -- he never imagined in all his years that he would do something like this. To destroy Coruscant -- the planet that had been his home for so many years --

He still can see the images flashing in his mind. Trying to reason with Palpatine, trying to get him to stand down. Palpatine refusing. And in the end, Anakin taking The Moment from Jaina's hands, because in the end, it was the last thing he could ever do.

So over the years, he continues to roam the galaxy. He can't say that he cares where he goes, because if nothing else, anywhere is better than simply remembering Coruscant. He goes to Dxun, he goes to Corellia, he goes to just about everywhere -- all while taking time to attend the burial of Gilad Pellaeon as well -- and he occasionally he goes back to Tatooine, his old home before he was taken to Coruscant to be trained. But if nothing else, he can't go back to places that remind him of Coruscant. There are too many memories -- too many things best left forgotten.

It's cowardly, it's true. But at the same time, what chance does he have?

2. There's something about spending time with the TARDIS that feels like home. Just working on her, repairing her, making upgrades, or plain and simply just talking with her -- perhaps she can't answer back, except in little flashes of the console or such, but it's at least comforting to know that she's there. Anakin has always loved machines. And while some would advise him later to not travel alone, he's not really alone, not completely. He has his TARDIS. And it's not like he really needs anyone. Not after they --

Anakin bites his lip and continues making upgrades to the TARDIS. It's at least enough to calm his head a bit.

3. There's something comforting about Padme saying that he's not quite alone. Something about her smile, something about her eyes, something about her presence is enough to feel like home, especially long after he took her to watch the collapsing of her own planet. It's something that he wishes that she didn't have to see. She deserves better than that, after all. And yet at the same time, it's critical to have her see it, if only because what happened on Coruscant shouldn't have to happen again. To anyone.

Still, there's something about going out to the nearest Nubian restaurant and having a meal there, all while chatting about little things, almost like normal people do instead of two obviously mismatched people on what could be called a bizarre adventure, that's comforting enough. Besides the TARDIS, Artoo and Threepio, Padme has become one of those...someones, for lack of a better word, whom being around feels oddly enough like home.

Anakin has a talent for getting attached too quickly. If nothing else, one of the Jedi Masters back on Coruscant said that it was one of his weaker traits. If nothing else, they mostly treated him like someone who somehow squandered whatever potential he had by not subscribing to what they wanted to do.

And with Padme...with Padme, it's no exception. The young Senator is, for lack of a better word, captivating, more than anything else. Everything about her, every little smile and laugh and gesture, is enough to hold Anakin's attention, almost like a moth to a flame.

He only hopes it will end well. After all, a lot of people in Anakin's life are dead.

He can't bear the idea of losing Padme as well.

4. It's down in Gascon's military base that Padme stops him from killing Maul. He's so tempted to; after all, the Sith have caused nothing but suffering to him and his friends, to Coruscant itself. All they're capable of -- for all they want dominion over the living, all they seem to do is kill. And yet here Padme is, begging him to spare Maul's life.

"He couldn't kill Gascon and he couldn't kill me," Padme says. "But what about you, Anakin? What are you changing into?"

Her words cut far too deep.

He's still reminded of how, back on Coruscant, back when he was still a Jedi -- he can't say that he's a Jedi. Not anymore -- how he was reprimanded for his anger. They had always thought him to be unstable at least to a degree, thanks to his adoption at the age of nine years old, instead of the expected handing-over-the-fledgling-Jedi-in-their-infancy-and-hoping-for-the-best -- granted, the Jedi wouldn't hope for the best. Hope, after all, he has been told, is just as futile as despair.

Not that he necessarily believes it. Hope's been what's driven him on in the past. Hope's been what's kept him from simply ending it all -- that and Padme. After all, if he can't keep her safe, what good is he?

He can still remember his words to Maul back in that base. "If you can't kill, what good are you, Darth?" And he supposes that in that moment, he and Maul are one and the same. Maul wasn't joking when he said that Anakin would make a good Sith.

And now he's paying for it, right in that moment, all while he's all but ignited his lightsaber in Padme's face.

He deactivates it, hooks it to his belt, shaking -- still almost in disbelief. I couldn't have done this -- I couldn't have fallen this far -- this can't be me! And yet here he is. He's nearly become the one he loathes the most. And Padme -- Padme's been the one to pull him back.

It's once they get back to the TARDIS with WAC in tow that Anakin finally gets a chance to at least apologize to Padme. "I shouldn't have nearly endangered you," he says. "I just..." He runs a hand through his hair; he can remember back during the war when he was still fighting the Sith, and even before that. He was younger, and more vibrant, and less jaded. Now...now he feels older than he really is. The war has all but aged him before his time.

"You were angry," Padme says. "I understand."

"That doesn't really excuse what I did. I could have killed you." Anakin sits on one of the chairs near the TARDIS console, rubbing his eyes if only wearily. "I nearly let my desire for revenge overtake everything. I can't imagine what would have happened if I actually hurt someone I...well..."

He almost can't bring himself to say the words. But it is true. He's grown to love this woman, this wonderful, impossible woman, and yet somehow, he can't think of what to say.

5. It's at the game station that it all comes to a head. Han's sacrifice. The deaths of many -- Anakin can still feel them rippling in the Force, and they hurt. And then there's the matter of the Sith Commander, taunting him, jeering at him --

Anakin knows what he has to do. And yet he can't bring himself to pull the levers that will destroy the Sith. He knows that he needs to, more than anything. But he can't bear the idea of killing everything in the galaxy. Padme is safe; he's found a way to make sure of that. And yet the idea of killing every form of life in the galaxy...

In the end, he takes his hands away from the levers. The Sith Commander has taunted him with the knowledge of either living as a murderer or dying as a coward. He'll take the latter. After all, he has lived his life. He doesn't fear death itself -- only when it touches those close to him. He only fears dying before he can thwart the Sith --

And then there's a sudden sound that causes a grin to spread over Anakin's face before he can stop himself. The familiar whirring, chuffing sound of the TARDIS. He turns around, even as the TARDIS door opens in a flash of golden light, and standing there --

It's Padme. And yet Anakin barely recognizes her. Her eyes are glowing with golden light -- her entire body seems to be bathed in it. Even when she speaks, it has a bizarre echo to it. "Am I too late?"

"No," Anakin says, "But..." He swallows. "What have you done?"

"I have looked into the TARDIS. And the TARDIS looked into me."

Those words say everything Anakin needs to know. "You looked into the Time Vortex? But Padme -- no one's meant to do that!"

"I know," Padme says, if only softly. "I want you safe, Anakin. Protected from the Dark Side itself."

The Sith commander, naturally, sees fit to mock Padme's efforts. "You believe you can hurt me? I am immortal."

Padme does not so much as even raise her voice. Perhaps that is the most terrifying part. "You are tiny. I can see everything -- every atom of your existence, and I divide them." She raises her hand, turns to look at Anakin. "Shall we?"

Anakin grins. "Yes." This, he muses, is what he was born for.

6. It's later that they awaken on the TARDIS floor. Anakin groans if only softly; if nothing else, he doubts he's ever felt more sore than in...all his lives. He looks over his hands -- yes, they're intact, that's good -- and then there's the matter of his hair. It's a bit longer, unlike his previous incarnation, whose hair was more short-cropped. Padme, meanwhile, seems to be the same -- and yet there's something different about her. More of an aura of power, one could say. Almost as if the nature of the Bad Wolf, the Time Vortex entity, has been preserved in her. And yet...

"What..." Padme squints at him. "What happened?"

"I'm all right, Padme," Anakin says, and he has to wince at just how awful his new voice sounds. It sounds almost...mumbly, really. "I just...regenerated."

Padme furrows her brow.

"It's a...jiggery-pokery term," Anakin says. "It's mostly a matter of...changing one's face."

"I see," Padme says. "So...you are still you?"

She sounds almost a bit confused. Not that Anakin blames her, really. He grins. "Yes," he says, "I'm still me."

On the floor next to them, WAC and Han get to their feet. Han brushes himself off, looks at Anakin and Padme. "You two all right?"

Anakin nods. "Relatively."

Han cocks his head. "Since when did you -- "

"Oh, it's a new process," Padme says. "Regenerating. Changing one's face."

Han raises an eyebrow. "You sure this isn't something you just invented for the sake of a prank?"

"I'm certain," Anakin says, "After all, how would I know that one time you mistook your blaster for a banana?"

"What? I -- just -- " Han sighs. "Okay, point. Good to know your smartass is intact."

"I suppose it is," Anakin says, grinning. "Are you all right, WAC?"

"Quite well."

Anakin turns back to Han now. "I think it's definitely fortunate that I'm all right," he says, "After all, I could have ended up as a three-headed krayt dragon. Or a gizka. It's not exactly what you call an entirely smooth process..."

"You don't say," Han says, all but wincing.

"And there might have been that one instance where I regenerated after banging my head on the TARDIS console..."

Even as they roam through the TARDIS, laughing and joking, Anakin is momentarily put at ease. True, they may have to deal with these new developments, such as the development of Padme's new possible powers, as well as having to explain to Jobal why her daughter is half-omnipotent being, and why he looks different. But for now? For now, it's time they set course for Deralia. Because after everything that happened, a break is sorely needed.

7. If one was to come up to Anakin while he was still in his last regeneration and say that he would develop affection for Jobal, Sola and Palo the way he did now, he wouldn't have believed them. But if nothing else, there are many ways to bring friends together, and things like having to fight off invasions of Naboo are one of them.

And it's long after they've thwarted the latest invasion that Anakin sits around the table with Jobal and the others, laughing even as they open Life Day crackers, and Palo putting on his best "theater actor" voice as he reads some of the...weaker jokes on the crackers (for example, "Why is the holonovel writer the funniest animal? Because the tale comes from his head."), and Anakin can't help but hope the next few days or so are like this moment. Today wasn't perfect (he's still uncomfortable long after his argument with Mon Mothma), but there's something about being huddled around the table at Padme's house that, if nothing else, Anakin wouldn't trade for the galaxy.

And long after Christmas dinner, Anakin, Han, WAC, Padme and the others huddle by the window to watch the snow falling. If nothing else, Anakin doubts he's ever seen a snowfall this beautiful. Then again, there is something about Naboo where...honestly, just about everything is beautiful.

Padme moves next to him. "So," she says, "Where are we going next?"

"I don't know," Anakin says. "I mean, I'd personally love to visit Lehon. I've always been fascinated by it. Ever since I was a boy. Then again, we could always go somewhere else. Maybe back to the time some of the finest Nubian operas were written?"

"We could," Padme says, grinning. "We definitely could."

8. He's never wanted to say goodbye to Jobal. And yet he knows that it's for the best. After all, there's the matter of her being happy with this alternate Ruwee -- not quite Ruwee, but if nothing else, he's close enough. He may be shaped by different experiences, but he is still the same man that Jobal fell in love with. He's more than intent, if nothing else, on sending Padme back with them, but she won't leave his side.

"Padme," he says, "You'll never be able to see them again. Your family."

"I know," Padme replies. "But I've made my choice a long time ago, Annie, and I'm not going to leave you."

Anakin bites his lip. Sometimes he can still be amazed at how earnest Padme is. And yet at the same time, he supposes that he shouldn't be surprised. Padme was willing to risk everything just to find a way back to him. Why is he suddenly surprised at her loyalty?

"So," Padme says, "How can I help?"

"Just help us set the coordinates," Han says, "It's the best we can do." He sighs and runs a hand through his hair; Anakin knows that if even the usually unflappable Han Solo is affected, then this is bad indeed. "We're sending those Sith and troopers back where they belong."

It's long after it's finished -- and after a terrifying near-miss with Padme nearly being knocked off the lever -- and the breach is sealed that Padme runs into Anakin's arms. He holds her tightly. Because if nothing else, in the end, it's all they can do, even as Republic soldiers pour in. It's done. It's over.

And they'll be there for one another, as they have in the past, because in the end, it's all they can do.

9. They find a way to speak with Jobal, Ruwee, and Sola, as well as Palo. It's a simple matter of the old jiggery pokery, but Anakin manages to at least forge some sort of transmission to let them contact the others as best they can. It's not exactly perfect, but Anakin has, if nothing else, tried. There's something about talking with Jobal, Ruwee, Sola and Palo that feels, almost, like coming home. Perhaps because in a way it is home. Even Palo, who was nothing but insufferable to Anakin in the beginning...Anakin can't bear the idea of seeing him go.

They engage in small-talk for a bit -- apparently, Sola's engaged, and Jobal's expecting ("another Naberrie on the way," Sola jokes, "Gods help us."), and they've taken to working for this parallel Galactic Alliance. Mon Mothma's the leader there, and Anakin supposes that as long as she doesn't blow anything else out of the sky, they're all well and good. And besides, Sola and the others will do something if that happens.

Anakin never wanted to turn against Mothma. But if nothing else, he hasn't had a choice. Padme has changed him, in more ways than one. She's opened up his eyes to everything life could be. And now, in Jobal and the others' absence, he's looking after her, the best he can.

"Anakin," Ruwee says, "I can't help but wonder...will we see you again?"

"I'm sure you will," Anakin says. "I might...pop in a bit for some visits if I can, and when I can. And if you ever need me, you signal me, and I'll come running." He grins. "I'm not letting some parallel universe hold me back."

Ruwee laughs. Then, more seriously, "Take care of her, Anakin, Han, WAC. Keep her safe."

"Oh, we will," Han says. "Don't worry." He pauses. "See you guys out there."

Sola smiles. "See you out there."

The transmission ends, and back in the TARDIS, Anakin stands, suddenly having this feeling of being oddly fulfilled, and yet oddly empty. Padme walks up to him now, puts her arms around him. He returns the embrace. Han joins them as well as WAC, and they stand there, close together, even as the TARDIS orbits the supernova, burning up a sun to say goodbye.

10. It's long after they manage to thwart the matter of Hondo Ohnaka's pirates that they ultimately decide to take Ahsoka along. If nothing else, Han's expressed his misgivings, if only for the fact that Ahsoka's worn him more than he can bear, and yet at the same time, even he's expressed a bit of a soft spot for the young Togruta. And if nothing else, Anakin knows that she's good with a lightsaber. Really good, honestly. It helps that she's endeared herself to him, at least in an odd way. Clever, friendly...all those things.

That and they could use the extra company. In expressing his misgivings to Anakin, Han's also expressed his worry of having "half the damn galaxy on this TARDIS". But if nothing else, Anakin doesn't mind.

Because if nothing else, traveling on his own isn't too bad, but there's something about company that makes the journey more bearable. And together, the possibilities are endless. Anakin Skywalker, Padme Naberrie Amidala, WAC, Han Solo, and now Ahsoka Tano in the TARDIS. Next stop? Everywhere.