ladyofleithian | More trope

Title: So Darkness I Became

Summary: The MILLENNIUM FALCON is forced to land on Dxun after being derailed from a Rebel meeting. On the moon, Rose and Luke's feelings for each other begin to come to light.

Disclaimer: I don't own shit, sadly.

Warnings: Um, other than my rusty writing skills, nothing to fear.

Prompt: Locked In.

Author's Notes: Mostly playing around with the idea of what-if-Rose-and-Leia-were-siblings. Was mostly thinking of making Luke Obi-Wan and Satine's child in this 'verse. No, I don't know what gave me the idea. Title also comes from "Cosmic Love" by Florence + the Machine.

"Go out in nature, they said," Rose said wryly even as the fire finally managed to get going. Even in the moment, she was at least grateful that they were away from the bomas and the maalras and all the other creatures on Dxun that seemed determined, if nothing else, to eat them. "It will be fun, they said."

In one of Dxun's many caves, Rose and the others sat around the campfire that they had managed to create, all whilst huddling away from the storm. In all certainty, Rose thought, they should have at least managed to get to the rendez-vous point by now; unfortunately, it seemed to be, to say the least, not the case. If nothing else, whether it be the matter of the Force or anything else, the FALCON had been forced to land there.

Han snorted. "I don't think they ever said something like this would be fun."

"Kind of speaking figuratively, Han." Rose pulled her knees up to her chest; somehow, she doubted she had ever felt more cold. Even in that shelter they had managed to create for themselves, she could still feel the chill of the wind. "I just hope we can at least send out a distress signal. Just to let the Alliance know where we are." She ran a hand through her hair. "I don't want them to get worried, at least."

"I'm sure they understand," Han said. "At least..." He sighed. "At least I hope."

Rose certainly hoped so as well. At least, she didn't want the Alliance to think they had been captured by Vader, or worse. The best they could do at the moment was sit tight until Artoo was finished with repairs on the FALCON.

Then again, she wasn't sure if they could all wait this long.

***

It was later in the night when Luke awoke. He sighed, rubbing his temples. Somehow, the nightmares didn't seem to abate. Nightmares about the matter of Ben being struck down, of Rose, running towards Vader, firing frantically. Nightmares about the matter of the Death Star, about seeing Alderaan in pieces, and so many other things. He was almost grateful in waking up -- but only almost. Because if nothing else, it wasn't just a dream that he could say, "Oh, thank the suns that it didn't happen." Because if nothing else, things like that had already happened, and there was nothing he could truly do to change them.

It was easy, if nothing else, to say that what he and Rose had done that day had ultimately been for the sake of stopping the Empire from destroying Yavin. And yet it wasn't easy. If nothing else, he could still hear the screaming of the people who were ultimately annihilated by the shot that destroyed the Death Star. Death on impact, smothered in the darkness of space, or the fires --

Sighing in frustration at his inability to get back to sleep, Luke walked towards the borders of the camp they had set up. He shivered, drawing his poncho tighter around himself. If nothing else, it was the closest reminder he had of home. He didn't want to leave his aunt and uncle. But if nothing else, Ben had said that the Imperials were coming for both him and Rose. It wasn't like he had much of a choice -- it wasn't like she had much of a choice.

Rose.

He couldn't really describe what it was about her that was so captivating. And yet here it was. He had been used to thinking of her as merely a friend. And yet here he was -- he couldn't say he was necessarily in love with her, per se, but there was something about her, every smile, every laugh, that somehow captivated him.

He could feel her presence even as she walked up beside him. "You doing all right?" she said.

He turned to look at her. Something about it -- he was grateful, at least, to have her by his side. Grateful that she was here -- at least he could talk with her about the matter of the nightmares. The nightmares that haunted him and refused to leave.

***

To say that Rose couldn't sleep was no doubt an understatement. She had had dreams again, in regards to the Death Star. She could still hear so many things -- people screaming even as they were utterly annihilated by the shots that she and Luke had made. And worse than that, Vader's words to her, so long ago.

"How do you even live with yourself, doing that?" In that moment, Rose doubted she had ever felt more angry, more frustrated, more, for lack of a better word, helpless. Even as she stood over the prone body of Katooni, the rogue Jedi who had managed to escape Vader for so many years before falling victim to him, she couldn't help but feel angry. "Killing all these people?"

"And you're any different, Miss Tyler?" Vader's voice, Rose thought, sounded almost as deep as the Corellian hells themselves. "How do you live with the people who died in the name of the Alliance? I can't help but wonder."

Rose bit her lip. Something about that hurt, even though there was something in her that was all but telling her not to listen, that Vader was trying to rile her up, nothing more. "That was different," she said, "I don't...they wouldn't have showed any mercy in destroying Yavin."

"And that justifies your actions? How many have you robbed of their husbands, their brothers, their sons, their fathers and grandfathers? How many dreams have you crushed simply by pulling the trigger?"

It wasn't hard to picture. If nothing else, Rose found it far too easy to picture -- husbands, brothers, and so many others ripped from their families. Possible geniuses lost. And yet something in her could not help but wonder how the Empire could say this, when they had done what they could if only to defend themselves --

"Rose." Petro, this time. "Don't listen to him. He's just trying to bait you."

Even standing out there, beside Luke, Rose couldn't help but think that if nothing else, Petro was right. If Vader was trying to bait her though, she thought, he'd probably done his job far too well. She had never imagined she would have to do this. The fact that she had sat there and pulled the trigger --

"I'm doing all right," Luke said. "I mean..." He bit his lip. "Nightmares."

"You too, huh?" Rose said.

Luke nodded. "Rose," he said, "I can't help but wonder -- do you think we did the right thing?"

There was something about the question that caught her off guard. If nothing else, she couldn't say. Leia had reassured her that she had done what she could, and Petro had said that Vader had no business in terms of calling someone out on their actions after everything he had done. That was true. And yet there was something in her that could not help but wonder --

"I think we did," Rose said, "For the most part." She sighed. "I just wish they didn't have to die, really. I mean, Tarkin...Tarkin had to be stopped, but the others..." She trailed off. Somehow, she couldn't bear to think about it. "I have a feeling that it's probably going to get worse before it gets better."

"Assuming that it can get any worse," Luke said, if only wryly.

In spite of everything, Rose chuckled, before becoming more serious again. "I think it can. Still...it won't be that bad. I mean, we'll always be all right...you and me."

"I certainly hope so," Luke said.

Their hands linked even in that moment, and there was something in that gesture that warmed Rose more than any campfire ever could. He needs me, she thought, and there was something that was comforting about it. Something wonderful about it, if nothing else.

***

Han Solo was already wishing that he had brought some of his best juma along.

In between things like Rose and Luke acting like complete idiots around each other and the matter of the creatures of Dxun that seemed to hate them with a passion, Han was already wishing he'd brought something to drink. At the very least, it would be able to calm his nerves if only a bit.

Except he doubted that it would be the case. After all, someone had to be sober once Artoo had fixed the FALCON and they could get to the rendez-vous point. Still...

It was long after he had managed to fend off another series of maalras that seemed to loathe them that Han slumped against one of the rock faces. He rubbed his temples; if he never had to see one of those blasted creatures again, it would be too soon.

Next to him, Chewbacca made a noise of concern.

"I'm all right, pal," Han said. "I really am." He sighed. "I'm just having a busy day."

***

It was later that night that Rose and Luke returned to the camp that Han had set up. If nothing else, after fighting off more maalras and bomas and other creatures, Rose was almost relieved to be out of the rain at this point. Even snuggling around the fire, there was something about being around Luke that was at least somewhat comforting. She turned to look at him. "How are you doing?"

"A little better," Luke said. "I mean..." He sighed. "I'd be happier if I was off this moon, but still..." He gave her a wan smile. "Stuck with you, Han, Leia and Chewie? Not too bad."

Rose grinned. "Yeah," she said, "Not too bad." She sighed. "Warm?"

"Relatively all right," Luke said. "I mean..." He shivered. "Well, all right -- I'm a bit cold."

They snuggled closer together. If they could at least keep the other warm, Rose thought, that would be worth everything. If one was to look inside the cave at the moment, one would see two fledgling Jedi, sleeping closer than most Jedi would, almost a single entity even as they slept against the walls of the cave.

And as Rose slept, at least for a moment, her dreams were quiet. Perhaps they were stuck on Dxun with their only means off the planet broken. But stuck with her close friends? It wasn't so bad.

***

It was early morning when they were awakened by the sound of Chewie's roar. Wincing, rubbing her ears, blinking, Rose looked over at Chewie. "What is it?" she asked. "What's wrong?"

And it was there that she felt it.

The Empire had found them. Vader was here. And now...now they had to stand and fight.

Rose disentangled herself from Luke now, stood up. Luke stood with her as well. Both their lightsabers were ignited. Leia, meanwhile, seemed to have woken as well. Leia held her blaster, as did Han. Chewie, meanwhile, held his bowcaster.

No matter what happened, they were not going down without a fight. The Empire would have to kill them. And that? That was a fact.