Chapter Four: It's Only Just Begun

[ladyofleithian]

In which the duel with Dooku begins. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

The occasional explosions that shook the ship were enough to make Padmè almost uncomfortable, having to lean against the wall for support. She turned to look at Obi-Wan. “You know,” she said, smiling, trying vainly to make a joke, “This is going to be one of the...rockier rescue missions we’ve ever had, wouldn’t you think?”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. “You can save the very bad puns for when we’re out of here, apprentice,” he said, but there was a bit of affection in his tone. Then he grew more serious. “Saving the Chancellor is our first priority. I think it’s best you get to it.”

Padmè couldn’t argue with that. After all, the Chancellor was the closest figure that she had to a father. She couldn’t let him down. Not now.

The ship shook again, and suddenly, the lights came on. The lights came on, practically blinding, washing over the two of them almost as if they were conspiring to strike them blind. Padmè blinked, before turning to Obi-Wan. “Are you all right?”

Obi-Wan rubbed his forehead. “I have a mild headache, Padawan,” he said, wryly, “But it’s nothing that can’t be solved in a...flash.” He sighed. “And now I’m starting to make bad puns. Just...great.”

Padmè grinned. “Get used to it, Master.”

The both of them chuckled in spite of everything, and at least for a moment, the anxiety of the rescue mission let up. Some would most likely criticize them for being so seemingly flippant in the face of danger, but in truth? It was the best they could get to simply not going insane. Especially in terms of what you saw out on the Outer Rim. Things like Steela’s death on Onderon – it had been one of Padmè’s greatest failures, even though liberating Onderon had been a success. Things like Muunilinst and Jabiim and so many other planets – watching what the Separatists were willing to do to accomplish their goal.

It wasn’t what they desired that was evil – if anything, what they desired wasn’t evil at all. The problem was their methods. Even now, Padmè could still remember a conversation with Ahsoka about that very subject.

“I think that’s the problem, Ahsoka,” Padmè said. “They have good intentions. They want to leave the Republic. They want stability. But unfortunately...I don’t think they really realize the damage they’re causing.”

“Or care,” Ahsoka said, more bitterly.

“That too,” Padmè said, “But I think most of them are good people. At least at heart.” She sighed. “I can’t say I’m the most qualified to comment on the matter. After all, if others heard me talking, they would just assume that I was naïve.”

“Naïve? Come on, Master,” Ahsoka said, “Don’t talk like that. I mean...you’re brilliant!”

It wasn’t something that Padmè expected to hear. And yet at the same time, something about it reassured her – comforted her, even. Told her, in a sense, that she wasn’t alone. That being an idealist, while it would be lost on some, would not be lost on others.

And hopefully, Ahsoka would carry that hope into the future.

But Ahsoka had died. One more casualty for the Separatists – at least, that’s how others would no doubt see it. But if anything, for Padmè, it was worse than that. The Separatists had killed someone who was almost like a daughter to her – so young and clever and kind and outspoken and wonderful and full of life.

And Obi-Wan had felt it too. Though he had taken great care to cover up his emotions – which Padmè supposed for him wasn’t hard; after all, he had had practice in that arena – Padmè could feel that loss radiating from him, almost like an open wound that hadn’t quite healed.

Obi-Wan had been wounded. And worse than that, Padmè could already sense something darker in him. Something angry.

“I’m worried about Obi-Wan.”

It wasn’t something that Padmè expected, at least in terms of speaking with Master Yoda about her troubles, but at the same time, she didn’t want to break Sabe’s heart or make her worry by bringing it up to her, and besides, perhaps it was best to get a Jedi’s perspective on this one, at least for now.

Yoda looked at her thoughtfully, his head cocked if only slightly. “Indeed?”

“Yes, indeed,” Padmè said. “Ever since that mission to Dxun – he’s changed, Master Yoda, I can feel it. It’s like it hasn’t gone away – I’ve tried talking with him, but it’s like...” She sighed. “I guess he just needs time, but...”

“Dangerous this could be for Master Obi-Wan. The shadow of greed, attachment is.”

Padmè almost couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Even for Master Yoda, it sounded almost cold. “How can you even say that? Ahsoka...well, she was like a daughter to him – ’’

“Know that I do. But let go, Master Obi-Wan needs to, as do you.”

Padmè sat back now, thinking. How could she really let go of Ahsoka? After all, the young Togruta had been her partner – not just her Padawan, but her partner, her best friend – for so many years. Even in her nightmares, she could see Ahsoka dying, again and again, like a holovid put on repeat. Even in her nightmares, she could see that cursed Dxun forest, and that fury that had built up in her, a fury she doubted she had ever felt this strongly before, that desire to bring the Separatists to justice for murder. Even in her nightmares she could hear that laughter – laughter that she hadn’t heard before, but that sinister cackle that seemed to echo in her ears long after she woke.

“I don’t know, Master Yoda,” she said. “It’s just...” She sighed. “You can’t just let go of loss as easily as simply...not mourning or missing them. At least, I can’t.”

“Of course not. Older than the expected age, you were, when you were brought before us.”

Padmè looked at him if only in confusion. “Master Yoda, with all due respect – ’’

“Had a family you did, and time to form attachments. Forming attachments, the Jedi cannot afford. Unscrupulous some may find our actions, but done it must be. And here you are – time for your family you had, as well as forming attachments. A sense of justice, a sense of peace. A desire for something we cannot always fulfill.”

Surprisingly enough, it was the last bit that Padmè, somehow, took most objection to. “Why not, Master Yoda?” Padmè said. “I mean...we are not the Republic’s personal attack rancors. We’re better than this. We’re Jedi.”

“A similar thing Count Dooku said,” Yoda said, so calmly, as if they were discussing the weather over drinks, “Before he left the Order.”

Suddenly, Padmè was curious. “What did he say?”

Yoda seemed to go quiet now, and in that moment, Padmè could see not the wise, almost untouchable, inscrutable Grand Jedi Master that she had first met, but a creature in charge of the Order, very old and very kind and very sad, musing on the apprentice that he might as well have called a son. If the Force had granted him a son. Dooku had been more than gifted – to Master Yoda, to the Order in general, he was a gift. Padmè doubted that it was anything out of the ordinary to think that Jocasta Nu had once been in love with him – the way she spoke about him at times, that look of happiness and sadness that seemed to come into her eyes as if she were remembering the good times she had had – if Jocasta Nu hadn’t somehow been in love with him, Padmè supposed that she would be surprised.

And then Yoda spoke. “Spoke, he did, of things that the Order was better destined for. That we were destined for greater things than carrying out the Republic’s desires. Wrong, he was – preservers of the peace, we are. Aspire to anything greater than that, against the Code it is.”

“I don’t know, Master Yoda. It’s just...” Padmè sighed. “It’s the Republic’s fault. If they’d just let the Separatists leave the Republic, this wouldn’t have happened. They wouldn’t have dragged us into it.”

“Dragged into it we were not. Did our duty, we did – as we always do.”

That was enough to catch Padmè off guard. Even remembering Depa Billaba and Ahsoka Tano and Adi Gallia and so many others – so many that had meant so much to her. She had fought alongside Master Gallia at one point, and Depa...Depa had been there for her when Obi-Wan had been presumed dead (he wasn’t, of course, but even so...). Fighting her in that cursed jungle along with Master Windu had been one of the worst moments in Padmè’s life.

And yet at the same time, it allowed her to see something past Mace Windu’s normally unflappable, almost unreachable, exterior. The way he had knelt over her body, the way he had looked, almost as if he had been close to tears – it was a side of Mace that had frightened Padmè, in a way. And yet she understood. After all, Depa was as much like a daughter to him as Ahsoka was to Padmè and Obi-Wan. And though Depa hadn’t died...she might as well have. Locked in a comatose state, with no news as to whether or not she would recover.

Obi-Wan had taken her seat on the Council. And even then, he had seemed so uneasy at the news. “It doesn’t feel right,” he had said, “To take the place of such a great Jedi Master. I do not feel worthy to fill her shoes.”

“You’re wrong, Master,” Padmè had said then. “You’re more than worthy.” And it was true. Perhaps no one would be able to fill Depa’s shoes, but at the same time, if anyone could so much as try, it would be Obi-Wan.

“Young Naberrie?”

Yoda’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. The Grand Master seemed almost concerned now. Padmè sighed.

“Sorry, Master Yoda,” she said, “I’m just...” She sighed.

“Locked in the past, you are.”

“I’m not locked in the past,” Padmè said, “I’m just remembering. And besides, how can you count it as the past when it’s happening right now?”

It wasn’t just Master Yoda’s seeming talent for missing the point, though that didn’t help. It was also the fact that for all the – occasionally justified – criticism of the Republic and the Jedi for their treatment of the Separatists and others who sought to leave the Republic, for reasons justified and no and everything in between, the way the Holonet sometimes treated those who had died – especially the anti-war parts of the Holonet – was enough to make Padmè angry. Though she could occasionally see their point, it wasn’t when they were exploiting the tragedies of the Clone Wars to make the Jedi, the Republic, or both out to be the villains. Because in the end, what they thought of the war didn’t matter. They were all heroes, no matter who they were. The Gungans of Naboo. The clonetroopers – especially the clonetroopers. Every Jedi Master, Jedi Padawan, Jedi Knight, and otherwise who fought in the Clone Wars deserved to be remembered as so much more.

“Of course it may be the present,” Master Yoda said, “But make it any less powerful, does it?”

“No.” Padmè supposed that he was right. As usual. She sometimes really hated it when he was right.

“In vain, Ahsoka’s death was not. And give up hope, she would never want you to do.” Yoda’s voice was softer now, even sympathetic. “Carry enough heavy burdens as the Chosen One you do, young Naberrie. Carry the weight of the dead, you do not need to.”

“Thank you.”

But even now, even though a part of her was oddly reassured by Master Yoda’s words, another part of her doubted that she would ever truly get over Ahsoka’s death. Some part of her still wasn’t happy.

But she would keep fighting no matter what. She would not be crippled. This was far from the end.

If anything, it was still only the beginning.

And it was that mentality that had kept her going when all hope seemed to be lost. And yet even now, Padmè doubted that anything could really prepare her for this. The sight of the Chancellor in the chair, cuffed there, seeming almost frightened and in pain. It was enough to make her breath hitch.

It was enough to almost break her heart. The sight of this brave, good, wonderful man cuffed to the chair like that, seeming so frightened, so pale, so alone – it was enough to make Padmè swear to herself that if Dooku had hurt him, if Grievous had hurt him, if Vader or Ventress had hurt him – there would be no power in the galaxy that would be able to stop her.

And that...that was a promise enough.

Obi-Wan, if he was disturbed by what he saw in front of him right now, didn’t seem to shift his expression. If anything, he was the portrait of professionalism, even now. Padmè could never really understand how he could stay so seemingly calm. If one was to look at him from the outside, they would never have really guessed what was going on on the inside.

Because in the Force, Padmè could sense what was happening to him. Obi-Wan’s emotions seemed to have become as powerful as a typhoon – not necessarily because of what had happened to the Chancellor, but because of everything else. Because of Ahsoka, because of Depa – to Obi-Wan, it seemed to just be another possible victim of the Separatists. Another thing that the Separatists dared to harm. Another person that the Separatists were willing to harm to achieve their goals.

And then, that typhoon, that terrifying storm of emotions that Padmè, long ago, would never have suspected to have witness through the Force, at least not from her Master, that normally unflappable Jedi Knight later become Jedi Master – it abated.

Thank goodness.

And yet Padmè doubted that it was over. Not yet, anyway.

“Chancellor,” Obi-Wan said, “Are you all right?”

And it was then that the Chancellor spoke his fear aloud. His fear that made him look so frightened and vulnerable and alone, his fear that had struck such rage in Padmè and Obi-Wan both, such rage and sorrow – the fear that was enough to shake this great man to the bones.

 “Dooku.”

Padmè turned around now, only to look at the Count, dressed impeccably as ever, in rich velvets and skins, wearing that same calm, almost inscrutable, yet somehow haughty and scornful expression, standing on the balcony alongside two battle droids. And now, two faces that Padmè knew well.

Darth Vader and Asajj Ventress.

“Well,” Padmè said, to Obi-Wan, “Now we’re in trouble.”

“Don’t worry, Padawan,” Obi-Wan said – it was still so odd that he called her that when she was now a Jedi Knight, but she supposed that it was his way of showing affection – smiling if only slightly, “I doubt it’s anything that we can’t handle.”

“Are you certain?” Palpatine seemed to be back to his old self – if only slightly. “With all due respect, Master Kenobi – I really think that you should have brought backup. After all, these are two Dark Jedi and a Sith Lord. I doubt you can handle those along with two battle droids.”

For a moment, Padmè thought, she couldn’t really imagine how absolutely naïve the Chancellor really was. But then again, it was probably a very reasonable fear. After all...

“Don’t worry, Chancellor,” she said, “At this rate – it’s going to be a typical Tuesday for us.”

“I suppose,” the Chancellor said, but there was a note of uncertainty in his voice. And to an extent, Padmè could understand. After all, considering Dooku’s reputation as well as Vader’s and Ventress’, of course Palpatine would be scared. Dooku was a fine duelist, and Vader and Ventress – they were geniuses in every sense of the word.

Still, Padmè supposed it wasn’t anything that they couldn’t handle.

“Together, Master?” she said. She didn’t want a repeat of Geonosis. Or Jabiim, for that matter – perhaps Dooku hadn’t exactly been there, but even so, that moment where she had thought she lost Obi-Wan...it had frightened her.

She couldn’t lose him this day. She couldn’t lose Palpatine either. Not along with Depa and Master Gallia and Ahsoka Tano. She would not lose him this day. She would rescue the Chancellor from the middle of the Separatist fleet, and just to finish the job, she would take Dooku and the others into custody as it was meant to be.

Grievous would be behind bars as he should have been in the first place, as would Dooku. He wasn’t going to escape like last time. And neither would Vader and Ventress.

And Force help them, there would not be a power in the galaxy that would stop Padmè from making everything right. She would end the Clone Wars. She would find a way to persuade the Chancellor to have peace talks with the Separatists, and everything would be right.

And Force help her, she would make it right.

Even if it cost her her life.

Comments

[angel-in-tears.livejournal.com]

*FLAILS*
This whole chapter was just epic!!! The reiminicsing over past Jedi and Ahsoka (POOR AHSOKA OMG) and there being Vader and Ventress with Dooku and klghsjkfhdjkfghjk.

CANNOT WAIT FOR MORE! XD

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D More is definitely on its way. :) I hope the next chapter lives up to your expectations! :D

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

Ah, and Yoda brings a different perspective - the Lawful Neutral approach, one might say. :)