NaNo updates and personal worries

[ladyofleithian]

Currently have 30,156 words. *Rubs wrists* Owie. Also managed to get into Obi-Wan's thoughts some more, which was pretty nice. Mostly in terms of what happened regarding Ahsoka during the Clone Wars. Mostly in regards to (minor spoiler warning) her death. Which I think may inform what happens to Obi-Wan at the end of the story. Also, I'm thinking that I'm seeing an emerging pattern in both my NaNo stories. My previous NaNo was informed by Qui-Gon's death, and now this is being informed by Ahsoka's death. I'm thinking that grief and death are becoming a bit of a theme/pattern/leitmotif in my NaNo, and I really don't know why. Then again, I guess a lot of odd themes show up in my work -- especially when I'm not really aware of it.

Also, I'll admit I am taking Obi-Wan (once again) into darker territory. OOC? Perhaps. But I think the key here is really being able to do it right. Going into depth as to where and why. Also, it may have been the fault of the music I was listening to, but I'm also kind of dealing a bit more with the matter of Obi-Wan's dreams and nightmares, and struggling with his darker self, literally manifesting as a hooded man chasing him. I think some of it may have been rooted in real life considering the nightmares (or at least really vivid dreams) I've been having -- some of which I've documented, some of which I haven't. I know that one nightmare I had included me trying to defend myself in my dream and knocking over the bedside lamp, where it landed on my (wooden) computer chair. Fortunately, I was able to repair it. *Sighs*

So yeah...I think I might be experiencing a bit of Creator Breakdown while writing my stuff. Not necessarily overt, but...well, it's there. *Sighs* I probably need some degree of help. And a chance to write something happy. That...that I think will definitely help. 

Comments

[coldthermistor.livejournal.com]

Do we get to read it when it is done? :D I like how this is shaping up! (Well, how it sounds like it's shaping up, at any rate!)

Sorry for the late reply!

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

Yes. After I get it edited, of course. :) And thanks! :D