For coldthermistor -- M!Exile + Atton friendship.

[ladyofleithian]

Title: Just To Find My Purpose.

Summary: Atton muses over Arren Nichos even as the latter sleeps.






He doubted he could ever really figure out Arren Nichos. How the man pushed beyond the boundaries of ordinary human ability, even to the point of insanity, to help people who, quite frankly, didn't deserve to be helped. Not the refugees on Nar Shaddaa -- at least in the "didn't deserve to be helped" department -- but things like trying to help Atris, and Visquis, and even sparing Visas Marr -- although the last one he could understand...slightly.

There were plenty of other things he couldn't understand about Arren Nichos. Things like how he could still hold the Jedi and Mandalorians in high esteem after everything they'd done to him. Things like the way he seemed to forget, at times, that he was holding a lightsaber. Even now...

Atton sighed. After what had happened with the other Jedi

even now, it ached to think about her, about the one Jedi who'd managed to get through to him when no one else could. She'd shown mercy. And that hurt even more than the Council on Dantooine and Coruscant refusing to help them, or the constant accusations of "murderer" and "traitor" -- at least you knew how to respond to those

he'd been hesitant to get attached to anyone else. He'd wandered the galaxy, almost zombie-like -- dead inside, but unwilling

unable

to lie down and die.

Yet Arren...

Atton suppressed an affectionate chuckle, before tucking the tattered blanket -- the closest they could find; they always seemed to be short on credits -- over his Captain. He hadn't wanted to love after the Jedi who gave her life for him. Couldn't love that easily.

And yet even now...

I must be out of my goddamn mind...

Atton slumped in the pilot's chair, comfortable next to his Captain, before closing his eyes and waiting for sleep.

Comments

[coldthermistor.livejournal.com]

Yes! Thank you! (Sorry, I seem to be riding an Atton-M!Exile kick recently.) I do love protective!Atton, especially Atton watching over Arren as he sleeps and giving us an insight into Arren's character :D

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

Both thanks and you're welcome. :) *Hugs* ^^

And yep, protective!Atton is win. Seriously. :)

[kinofsimon.livejournal.com]

That was awesome. I've always been curious about what the devs were intending with that one female Jedi that opened the Force up to Atton. Like what did she represent? I'm still a little clueless. What do YOU think it means?

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

That's honestly a very good question. Perhaps in a way -- besides the Exile, of course -- it was a way for Atton to understand that not all Jedi are as bad as they seem to be? Especially considering how let down he felt by them during the Wars... #Thinking.

[kinofsimon.livejournal.com]

That's a good way of imagining it! I think its that, PLUS, the nature of his character. He had never been shown love before. And he responded like anybody wet behind the ears [relationship wise] would act - with hostility. He loved her for saving him, and looking into his soul and opening him up to something better, showing him the small ounce of light in the darkness, but he also hated her for bringing him down from his 'throne,' so to speak. He was at the top of his game as an assassin, but she opened up his vulnerable side. When he was talking about using faux feelings to hide himself in the Force, those started to become real and he felt every one of them.

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, *this*! *Huggles poor Atton*

[kinofsimon.livejournal.com]

Yah. Like I said once, I know Atton, because I was him once. I think that's a big part of why I loved KOTOR2 so much way back in HS. It just spoke to me. You have any characters you can relate to?

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

*This*, so very much. :)

I think I could definitely relate a bit to Brianna. Shy, awkward, kind of the social outcast...with a bit of Bastila thrown in for good measure. :)

[kinofsimon.livejournal.com]

Alright. Cool. Brianna is a very likeable character. Very easy to talk to. I dig it.

And Bastila, what about her? I don't take you for the 'prickly' type, Miss Hadhafang ;)

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

I agree. :)


And Bastila, what about her? I don't take you for the 'prickly' type, Miss Hadhafang ;)

Hee...thanks. :) I think it's mostly the perfectionist streak, etc. etc. I can definitely be a perfectionist at times, mostly regarding things like schoolwork, writing, etc. -- it's not fun. :/ *Hugs Bastila tightly* But I think I'm definitely more like Brianna if only for the restless streak -- as her sisters put it, "Her stance has too much passion behind it." ( Fun fact: I remember running across a topic on Brianna at the Rifftrax forum -- some people seemed to have mistaken her for one of the Naboo handmaidens, which was amusing enough, but they also wondered if that statement was some fancy Echani euphenism for, um, Really Gets Around. #Oh, Internet ) So I have problems concentrating, a bit of a daydreamy streak -- I definitely say I'm Brianna, all the way. :3

[kinofsimon.livejournal.com]

If the world didn't have dreamers and artists, then it'd be a lot worse off. I'm sorry I don't know you in person. You sound like an awesome gal : )

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

Awwww, thanks. :) *Hugs* Same here. :)

Volume Seventy-Seven, Issue Twenty-Three

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User chameleon_irony referenced to your post from Volume Seventy-Seven, Issue Twenty-Three saying: [...] (Rated G; Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon) - wrote "Just To Find My Purpose" [...]