ladyofleithian | TOO GOOD IS TRUE, PART SIX: Big Damn Heroes, sir.

[INT. THE TSF STATION -- NIGHT.

Arawn and company carefully sneak past the dead bodies of Sith commandos, Marauders, and elite assassins, with Arawn carefully reaching out through the Force to feel for any threats.]

ARAWN: We better be careful. I can sense a lot of Sith behind there.

ATTON (teasing): Well, of course.

Arawn sighs.

ARAWN: No, really, Atton -- just keep your lightsaber at the ready. I have a bad feeling about this.

ATTON: All right. *Sighs*

They open the door.

The looks on the Sith's faces are priceless; it's almost as if they don't know whether to attack Arawn or run away -- or continue sabotaging the fuel source like nothing happened.

ARAWN: Flint, we're both reasonable beings; we can work this out like grown women...

FLINTAN: Nope. Sorry, I can't. I've got my orders, Jedi. (to the others) What are you guys waiting for? Attack!

The Sith swarm on Arawn. It takes a lot of effort for her (plus everyone else) to fight them all off.

Finally, they're all dead.

Including Flintan.

ARAWN: Right...right... *Sighs* We better get to the shuttle. Now.

They run.

[INT. COLONEL TOBIN'S QUARTERS -- NIGHT.

Tobin and co. continue to read the story.]

CHAPTER 6 wendsday morning
(note: all the stuff Blanche is telling Joe don about riding is true.)

TERRI CLARK: Oh Christ...this is going to hurt.

After I put Dusty in a small paddock by the barn, I went into the house and put on a pair of tights under my jeans(so you don't rub a hole in your knee). My t-shirt had a food stain on it, so I dug around in my drawer for a clean shirt and smiled when I found when I found my I LOVE JOE DON ROONEY shirt. I put it on and glanced at my watch. "Oh God! Joe don will be here in ten minutes."

TERRI CLARK: *By now has begun to hum "You've Picked A Fine Time To Leave Me, Lucille"*

I walked over to Dusty's fence and leaned on it. I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, someone was tapping me lightly on the shoulder. I spun on my heel. It was Joe don.

Blanche - "How did you get here so fast?!"

COLONEL TOBIN (as Joe Don): I'm from the future.

Joe don - "Actually I'm late."

TERRI CLARK: ...do you want to play it or shall I?

GANDALF: A country singer is never late, Blanche. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

BOBA FETT: Well, that's good to know. Thanks, Gandalf! :D

Blanche - "Really? I must have dozed off. Are you ready to learn how to tack up?" I said, turning towards the barn.

Joe don - "Yeah. Hey, like your shirt."

Blanche - "Oh yeah?" I turned around and smiled at him. "Of course you would, it has a picture of you on it."

Joe don - "Oh, yeah, I guess it does."

COLONEL TOBIN: *Facepalm*

TREEBEARD: There is no curse in Elvish, Entish or the Tongues of Men...for this stupidity .

BOBA FETT: Yeah...well said... *nods off*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

COLONEL TOBIN (quoting 2001): My God...it's full of stars.

TERRI CLARK: *Gives him a sympathetic pat on the arm*

Blanche - "Okay. Now put your left foot in the stirrup and push off with your right foot. And try not to use the saddle horn to pull yourself up."
I stood at Dusty's head while Joe don put his foot in the stirrup and swung up.

Joe don - "Okay, now what?" I handed him the reins.

Blanche - "Today we're going to work on your seat. You should always sit deep in the saddle and keep your butt bones in saddle at all times. And Never lean forward, it takes you butt bones out of the saddle and you aren't anchered to the horse and more.
Heels; your heels should be parallel to the horse and don't let you lower leg swing around. If I yell "heels" at you, then that means that you need to straighten them. Does all that make sense?"

Joe don - "Yeah, what's next?"

COLONEL TOBIN (singing to the tune of "Dream Weaver"): Ooooooooooooh, mooooooooooooooooore boredom...I believe you can get me through the niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

BOBA FETT: *Is still snoring*

Blanche - "Whoa, slow down there cowboy. Ask him to step out and walk the circle eight times, and at the gate halt and hopp off."

TERRI CLARK: *Is also snoring*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

COLONEL TOBIN: Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight...

ARAWN (O.S.): I wish for this fic to stop sucking?

(Boba Fett and Terri Clark snap awake almost immediately)

TERRI CLARK: Arawn! Great to see you!

ARAWN: Yeah, yeah. We're...kind of here to save Telos from planetary destruction...

TERRI CLARK: Tell you what. You help us ride out the effects of this fic, and we'll help you save Telos. Deal?

(Beat)

VISAS: Very well. My master isn't the sharpest vibroblade in the drawer anyway...it's not like he'd notice...

Dusty halted and Joe don dismounted.
Blanche - "That was GREAT! I'll untack him for you."

Joe don - "Thanks, but Dusty did all the work."

VISAS: Oh, what is this?

TERRI CLARK: It's a really bad Rascal Flatts fan fic.

VISAS: Oh dear...

Blanche - "You're welcome.''
I led Dusty out of the arena, over to the barn and started untacking him. I heard Joe don walk up behind me as I undid the girth and started to pull the saddle off.

Joe don's POV

Joe don - "Blanche. . . umm.''

Blanche - "Huh?"

Joe don - "I. . . umm was wondering if you wanted to grab a coke and something to eat after the lesson is over?"
She set the saddle down and smiled. "Sure, I'd love to."

ARAWN: Well, I hate to say this, but in comparison to the Beer Enema fic, this is pretty boring.

ANAKIN: Nothing can be as bad as the Beer Enema fic.

*Both of them shudder*