For allbingo
Feb. 20th, 2021 08:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Untainted
Summary: After Ben learns about the identity of his grandfather, Poe comforts him.
Prompt: Family Relationships
He was running. Running far away from the Academy with the voice of that one Senator from the newscast echoing in his ears, telling him exactly who his grandfather was, a truth he never wanted to acknowledge —
It was when Ben got back to his hut that he could take deep, shuddering breaths, taking in everything that had happened. His head was throbbing, and his skin...
He couldn’t help but feel like he wanted to peel off his skin. Like all of it was somehow contaminated with everything that Vader — that Anakin — was.
Grandson. It was a degree of separation between him and Anakin. Just a grandson. Having the buffer of Han and Leia as parents to take away the pain.
But he was still Anakin’s grandson.
Why couldn’t he have been normal? A nobody from nowhere, someone who didn’t have any attachments to Jedi, or Sith, or...anything?
Someone like Poe, maybe.
***
Poe called him later. Ben almost expected to see condemnation on that beautiful, expressive face, but there was nothing like that, at least there. He saw, oddly enough, compassion there. Poe’s eyes were wide and soft, his lips slightly parted...
And it made sense, Ben thought. Sweet, gentle Poe, who saw the good in just about everyone. Who had a boundless heart. Stars, he looked like his own heart had been broken, in a way...
“I saw the news,” Poe said. “It’s not your fault, Ben.” Then, changing almost abruptly, his face becoming righteous anger, “I can’t believe that that sorry excuse of a Senator did that to you and your mom. If I was able to...I’d...”
“You could start by writing a strongly worded letter,” Ben said wryly. For a moment, he could crack a joke. For a moment, everything was okay.
Poe snorted. “Welcome back, Ben Solo.” Then, softer, “I was worried about you. I...I would do anything to make sure that you were safe. I love you, Ben.”
Ben blinked. There was a moment where he heard the words but was almost afraid to let them sink in. “Well, of course you do; we’re best friends...”
“Not like that. I’m in love with you.”
There was a moment where Ben froze. Where Ben could swear that he was overwhelmingly happy and afraid all at once. He didn’t deserve this. People coming from a tainted lineage didn’t deserve second chances, didn’t deserve love...
“I love you too.” Ben said. There it was. Closing the gap, all of it.
***
“I just can’t believe that my mother didn’t tell me,” Ben said. “She...”
“Maybe she wanted to protect you.” Poe said.
Ben sighed. “Maybe.” After all, Mom had her issues, but she wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt Ben. She wasn’t a monster. She wasn’t perfect either. She was just in between.
He just wished that she could come to see him. Maybe she had her reasons. Maybe. She was probably doing damage control against what that schutta had done...
"I’ll protect you too, Ben,” Poe said. “No matter what happens, I will always look out for you and believe in you. You deserve to be believed in.” Then, “You deserve that more than anything.”
“Thank you.” Then, “Hey, Poe?”
“Yeah?”
Ben smiled. “You deserve to be believed in too.”
Summary: After Ben learns about the identity of his grandfather, Poe comforts him.
Prompt: Family Relationships
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
He was running. Running far away from the Academy with the voice of that one Senator from the newscast echoing in his ears, telling him exactly who his grandfather was, a truth he never wanted to acknowledge —
It was when Ben got back to his hut that he could take deep, shuddering breaths, taking in everything that had happened. His head was throbbing, and his skin...
He couldn’t help but feel like he wanted to peel off his skin. Like all of it was somehow contaminated with everything that Vader — that Anakin — was.
Grandson. It was a degree of separation between him and Anakin. Just a grandson. Having the buffer of Han and Leia as parents to take away the pain.
But he was still Anakin’s grandson.
Why couldn’t he have been normal? A nobody from nowhere, someone who didn’t have any attachments to Jedi, or Sith, or...anything?
Someone like Poe, maybe.
***
Poe called him later. Ben almost expected to see condemnation on that beautiful, expressive face, but there was nothing like that, at least there. He saw, oddly enough, compassion there. Poe’s eyes were wide and soft, his lips slightly parted...
And it made sense, Ben thought. Sweet, gentle Poe, who saw the good in just about everyone. Who had a boundless heart. Stars, he looked like his own heart had been broken, in a way...
“I saw the news,” Poe said. “It’s not your fault, Ben.” Then, changing almost abruptly, his face becoming righteous anger, “I can’t believe that that sorry excuse of a Senator did that to you and your mom. If I was able to...I’d...”
“You could start by writing a strongly worded letter,” Ben said wryly. For a moment, he could crack a joke. For a moment, everything was okay.
Poe snorted. “Welcome back, Ben Solo.” Then, softer, “I was worried about you. I...I would do anything to make sure that you were safe. I love you, Ben.”
Ben blinked. There was a moment where he heard the words but was almost afraid to let them sink in. “Well, of course you do; we’re best friends...”
“Not like that. I’m in love with you.”
There was a moment where Ben froze. Where Ben could swear that he was overwhelmingly happy and afraid all at once. He didn’t deserve this. People coming from a tainted lineage didn’t deserve second chances, didn’t deserve love...
“I love you too.” Ben said. There it was. Closing the gap, all of it.
***
“I just can’t believe that my mother didn’t tell me,” Ben said. “She...”
“Maybe she wanted to protect you.” Poe said.
Ben sighed. “Maybe.” After all, Mom had her issues, but she wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt Ben. She wasn’t a monster. She wasn’t perfect either. She was just in between.
He just wished that she could come to see him. Maybe she had her reasons. Maybe. She was probably doing damage control against what that schutta had done...
"I’ll protect you too, Ben,” Poe said. “No matter what happens, I will always look out for you and believe in you. You deserve to be believed in.” Then, “You deserve that more than anything.”
“Thank you.” Then, “Hey, Poe?”
“Yeah?”
Ben smiled. “You deserve to be believed in too.”
