For allbingo
Feb. 17th, 2021 09:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Grounding
Summary: In their nightmares, Ben dies.
Prompt: Be Here Now
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Ben wakes in the dark, looking around frantically, before realizing that he’s safe.
It’s the same nightmare, Ben can’t help but think, even as he lies awake next to Poe, even as he tries to sort out his thoughts. Sleeping next to Poe, sharing a bed, feels only right after everything. Luke didn’t draw his lightsaber, and Ben’s grateful for that, but the fact he came so close —
In the nightmare, Luke’s saber actually comes down. Or Ben wakes up in time, fighting against his own uncle before bringing the hut down on them both. In the nightmare, it’s the same thing, and Ben wakes, sweaty and shaking and realizing that Uncle Luke really did come that close...
Poe’s still asleep. Ben finds that he’s grateful, at least, for his presence, a man snuggled next to him who is still so brilliant, so bright. So beautiful. Of course he’s beautiful, Ben thinks, golden skin and curly black hair and dark eyelashes that contrast against his skin...
But it’s more than that. It’s his spirit. His heart. Even as Ben thinks of everyone who’s tried to manipulate him, people like Ren, like Snoke, like the voices that echo in his head night upon night...he finds that Poe is one of the presences in his life that actually makes him feel relatively okay.
More than relatively okay, actually.
Snoke was poison, weaving it through Ben’s ear, through his veins, and Luke...well, he’s brave, and Ben shouldn’t blame him for being mind-controlled, not in the slightest, but it was still scary just how close Luke came.
Poison and vulnerability. Those two things terrify Ben. And it’s Poe that is actually a comfort. Gentle, kind Poe, who’s sleeping beside him, breathing steadily right now.
This is where he belongs. On the Grimtaash, heading to D’Qar, the surviving Jedi trainees sleeping in separate rooms, with Poe sleeping next to him, safe and sound.
There aren’t any words for how Ben feels about Poe. Not ones he can say out loud yet. He’s all too used to feeling unworthy of love, of affection (Snoke’s poison, in his veins), and this...
He can at least say that he’s worthy of this moment. Beside Poe.
Poe stirs, snaps awake, and it’s clear that he’s frightened. “Ben,” he says. “I dreamed you died.”
“It’s okay.” Ben’s murmuring softly to him, stroking his hair in a gesture that’s protective and go-ahead-try-and-take-him-from-me all at once. “I’m alive. As alive as can be.”
“Yeah. Dreams are weird like that,” Poe says. “I just...I got so scared.”
“Well, I’m here,” Ben says. “Thing is...I had a nightmare too.”
He tells Poe.
“Ben,” Poe says, “You’re safe. Where you belong.”
“I know.”
They lie together, snuggling together, and Ben closes his eyes, thanking the Force that he has someone as wonderful as Poe here, with him.
Summary: In their nightmares, Ben dies.
Prompt: Be Here Now
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Ben wakes in the dark, looking around frantically, before realizing that he’s safe.
It’s the same nightmare, Ben can’t help but think, even as he lies awake next to Poe, even as he tries to sort out his thoughts. Sleeping next to Poe, sharing a bed, feels only right after everything. Luke didn’t draw his lightsaber, and Ben’s grateful for that, but the fact he came so close —
In the nightmare, Luke’s saber actually comes down. Or Ben wakes up in time, fighting against his own uncle before bringing the hut down on them both. In the nightmare, it’s the same thing, and Ben wakes, sweaty and shaking and realizing that Uncle Luke really did come that close...
Poe’s still asleep. Ben finds that he’s grateful, at least, for his presence, a man snuggled next to him who is still so brilliant, so bright. So beautiful. Of course he’s beautiful, Ben thinks, golden skin and curly black hair and dark eyelashes that contrast against his skin...
But it’s more than that. It’s his spirit. His heart. Even as Ben thinks of everyone who’s tried to manipulate him, people like Ren, like Snoke, like the voices that echo in his head night upon night...he finds that Poe is one of the presences in his life that actually makes him feel relatively okay.
More than relatively okay, actually.
Snoke was poison, weaving it through Ben’s ear, through his veins, and Luke...well, he’s brave, and Ben shouldn’t blame him for being mind-controlled, not in the slightest, but it was still scary just how close Luke came.
Poison and vulnerability. Those two things terrify Ben. And it’s Poe that is actually a comfort. Gentle, kind Poe, who’s sleeping beside him, breathing steadily right now.
This is where he belongs. On the Grimtaash, heading to D’Qar, the surviving Jedi trainees sleeping in separate rooms, with Poe sleeping next to him, safe and sound.
There aren’t any words for how Ben feels about Poe. Not ones he can say out loud yet. He’s all too used to feeling unworthy of love, of affection (Snoke’s poison, in his veins), and this...
He can at least say that he’s worthy of this moment. Beside Poe.
Poe stirs, snaps awake, and it’s clear that he’s frightened. “Ben,” he says. “I dreamed you died.”
“It’s okay.” Ben’s murmuring softly to him, stroking his hair in a gesture that’s protective and go-ahead-try-and-take-him-from-me all at once. “I’m alive. As alive as can be.”
“Yeah. Dreams are weird like that,” Poe says. “I just...I got so scared.”
“Well, I’m here,” Ben says. “Thing is...I had a nightmare too.”
He tells Poe.
“Ben,” Poe says, “You’re safe. Where you belong.”
“I know.”
They lie together, snuggling together, and Ben closes his eyes, thanking the Force that he has someone as wonderful as Poe here, with him.
