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ladyofleithianBut I might as well. For em's sake. ^__^
*Sighs* This is going to hurt. A lot.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, yadda yadda, I mean no discomfort to the original author, and I'm open to concrit. Really. :)
In the not too distant past,
Somewhere in time and space
Arawn Sinn and company,
Are caught in a nasty place
Pursued by Sith Lords of hunger, betrayal and pain,
Just some nasty guys who want the galaxy slain
From their fortress below they set their sights above,
Just to torment all their captives on the EBON HAWK (of love)! ("Get me down!")
"We'll send her cheesy fanfics,
"The worst ones we can find (la-la-la)
"She'll have to sit and read them all,
"And we'll monitor he mind (la-la-la)
Now keep in mind Arawn can't control,
Where the fanfics begin or end (la-la-la)
She'll try to keep her sanity,
With the help of some unlikely friends
Ebon Hawk Roll Call:
Atton ("I hear you")
Palpatine! ("Unlimited *power*!")
T3 ("Dee-deet!")
Handmaiden ("Ready.")
Visas ("My life is yours.")
Mira ("Let's move out.")
Mical ("Something you need of me?")
HK! ("Query: Is there someone you need killed, Master?")
G0-T00000000 ("What have you brought me?")
Piett! ("Yes, Lord Vader?")
Anakin! ("Sorry, Master!")
Obi-Wan! ("Yes?")
Critic! ("I remember it so *you* don't have to!")
Chick! ("I remember it because the dudes won't.")
Nash! ("Couldn't make this shit up if I tried...")
If you're wondering how she eats and breathes,
And other STAR WARS facts (la-la-la)
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax".
For... TRANSMISSION HAWK MASTERPIECE THEATER 3000!
***
[INT. THE EBON HAWK MAIN HOLD -- NIGHT.
Everyone looks tired. Anakin's blearily rubbing his temples.]
ANAKIN (darkly): How in the galaxy did the TSF not realize that Sion, Samhan and Grievous escaped?
OBI-WAN: Well, let's be fair. They were probably very busy --
ARAWN: And it's not like we were innocent either. Seriously. We were just clowning around when --
[STATIC]
ANAKIN: Oh, what is it this time?
[STATIC]
DOOKU: Hello? Am I transmitting? Hello?
ANAKIN (cheerful): Dooku! Buddy! How've you been?
DOOKU: Perfectly well, thank you. Well...remember that *cough* charming sequel to the Beer Enema fic?
ANAKIN (darkly): I'd prefer not to.
DOOKU: Well, it's been updated while you were away.
ANAKIN: Oh Force no -- listen, Dooku, unless you're here to help get us through this, I'm not doing it, and there's nothing that can make me change my -- gyahhh!
Dooku's suddenly teleported into the ship.
ANAKIN (sarcastic): Oh look, my mind. It changed.
DOOKU: Right, right. Now...why don't we all gather around and...work some more, shall we?
ARAWN: Sure. (To herself) Here we go again...
When you awake next morning, you don't bother getting dressed. You have a wank while you drink a beer, smear the gungy cum around your balls and go downstairs.
ANAKIN (sarcastic): You know what I don't miss? This schutta. I don't think I'll ever get tired of his detailed descriptions of his less than stellar sex l --
MIRA: Well, what you and Padme do in your spare time is strictly personal, but still...
ANAKIN (good-natured): Go to hell.
MIRA (cheerful): After you.
You get hard again as you see him exhausted, his wrists completely torn up and blood still dripping down his arms. The shit-filled beer enema had settled on his skin making him look dirty and you can see the red lines where the penis gag is digging in. I settled on making sure he won't be getting out of this alive months ago,
MICAL (snarky): You know what I don't miss? POV fails. *Marks it down*
DOOKU: Well, there's a rumor that the fic was actually plaigarized --
PALPATINE: It may be idle gossip.
ANAKIN: Gossip, shmossip. I'm just going to adopt that into my personal head canon to keep the nightmares at bay. ^__^
but it almost makes you want to lobotomize him (not that it would make a difference in his intelligence anyway)
MIRA (sarcastic): Yes, because having the IQ of crab grass was how he got such a massive, devoted fanbase to begin with. (Beat) Force, I hate this fic, and we haven't even scratched the *surface* of this clusterfuckery.
and keep him as a pet.
You kick him in the spine, causing a muffled howl as he doubles over and the wire cuts in again. You step in front of him and yank his head back. "Are you going to suck me now?" His eyes are bloodshot again.
He nods, but it's a small one and you're not satisfied. You grab him by the neck and squeeze. "Are you going to clean my dick for all your worth?"
CRITIC: Here's a hint -- no.
That's more like it, eager and desperate like a good little slut. You take the gag out and cut the rope and he falls in a heap.
You roll your eyes and boot him in the ribs. "I want to get washed whore, get a move on."
He scrambled up as best as he can but you still feel him reeling away from the crust and the smell. You laugh at him and thrust your cock inside his mouth, feeling even hornier when he gags on the foul taste. You're going to make this last for a while.
ANAKIN: Is there any caf left?
TERRI CLARK: Here -- I saved some from the RAVAGER.
ANAKIN: Thanks.
He pours himself a cup of caf.
ANAKIN: Work your dark magic, caf...
And he takes a swig.
*Sighs* This is going to hurt. A lot.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, yadda yadda, I mean no discomfort to the original author, and I'm open to concrit. Really. :)
In the not too distant past,
Somewhere in time and space
Arawn Sinn and company,
Are caught in a nasty place
Pursued by Sith Lords of hunger, betrayal and pain,
Just some nasty guys who want the galaxy slain
From their fortress below they set their sights above,
Just to torment all their captives on the EBON HAWK (of love)! ("Get me down!")
"We'll send her cheesy fanfics,
"The worst ones we can find (la-la-la)
"She'll have to sit and read them all,
"And we'll monitor he mind (la-la-la)
Now keep in mind Arawn can't control,
Where the fanfics begin or end (la-la-la)
She'll try to keep her sanity,
With the help of some unlikely friends
Ebon Hawk Roll Call:
Atton ("I hear you")
Palpatine! ("Unlimited *power*!")
T3 ("Dee-deet!")
Handmaiden ("Ready.")
Visas ("My life is yours.")
Mira ("Let's move out.")
Mical ("Something you need of me?")
HK! ("Query: Is there someone you need killed, Master?")
G0-T00000000 ("What have you brought me?")
Piett! ("Yes, Lord Vader?")
Anakin! ("Sorry, Master!")
Obi-Wan! ("Yes?")
Critic! ("I remember it so *you* don't have to!")
Chick! ("I remember it because the dudes won't.")
Nash! ("Couldn't make this shit up if I tried...")
If you're wondering how she eats and breathes,
And other STAR WARS facts (la-la-la)
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax".
For... TRANSMISSION HAWK MASTERPIECE THEATER 3000!
***
[INT. THE EBON HAWK MAIN HOLD -- NIGHT.
Everyone looks tired. Anakin's blearily rubbing his temples.]
ANAKIN (darkly): How in the galaxy did the TSF not realize that Sion, Samhan and Grievous escaped?
OBI-WAN: Well, let's be fair. They were probably very busy --
ARAWN: And it's not like we were innocent either. Seriously. We were just clowning around when --
[STATIC]
ANAKIN: Oh, what is it this time?
[STATIC]
DOOKU: Hello? Am I transmitting? Hello?
ANAKIN (cheerful): Dooku! Buddy! How've you been?
DOOKU: Perfectly well, thank you. Well...remember that *cough* charming sequel to the Beer Enema fic?
ANAKIN (darkly): I'd prefer not to.
DOOKU: Well, it's been updated while you were away.
ANAKIN: Oh Force no -- listen, Dooku, unless you're here to help get us through this, I'm not doing it, and there's nothing that can make me change my -- gyahhh!
Dooku's suddenly teleported into the ship.
ANAKIN (sarcastic): Oh look, my mind. It changed.
DOOKU: Right, right. Now...why don't we all gather around and...work some more, shall we?
ARAWN: Sure. (To herself) Here we go again...
When you awake next morning, you don't bother getting dressed. You have a wank while you drink a beer, smear the gungy cum around your balls and go downstairs.
ANAKIN (sarcastic): You know what I don't miss? This schutta. I don't think I'll ever get tired of his detailed descriptions of his less than stellar sex l --
MIRA: Well, what you and Padme do in your spare time is strictly personal, but still...
ANAKIN (good-natured): Go to hell.
MIRA (cheerful): After you.
You get hard again as you see him exhausted, his wrists completely torn up and blood still dripping down his arms. The shit-filled beer enema had settled on his skin making him look dirty and you can see the red lines where the penis gag is digging in. I settled on making sure he won't be getting out of this alive months ago,
MICAL (snarky): You know what I don't miss? POV fails. *Marks it down*
DOOKU: Well, there's a rumor that the fic was actually plaigarized --
PALPATINE: It may be idle gossip.
ANAKIN: Gossip, shmossip. I'm just going to adopt that into my personal head canon to keep the nightmares at bay. ^__^
but it almost makes you want to lobotomize him (not that it would make a difference in his intelligence anyway)
MIRA (sarcastic): Yes, because having the IQ of crab grass was how he got such a massive, devoted fanbase to begin with. (Beat) Force, I hate this fic, and we haven't even scratched the *surface* of this clusterfuckery.
and keep him as a pet.
You kick him in the spine, causing a muffled howl as he doubles over and the wire cuts in again. You step in front of him and yank his head back. "Are you going to suck me now?" His eyes are bloodshot again.
He nods, but it's a small one and you're not satisfied. You grab him by the neck and squeeze. "Are you going to clean my dick for all your worth?"
CRITIC: Here's a hint -- no.
That's more like it, eager and desperate like a good little slut. You take the gag out and cut the rope and he falls in a heap.
You roll your eyes and boot him in the ribs. "I want to get washed whore, get a move on."
He scrambled up as best as he can but you still feel him reeling away from the crust and the smell. You laugh at him and thrust your cock inside his mouth, feeling even hornier when he gags on the foul taste. You're going to make this last for a while.
ANAKIN: Is there any caf left?
TERRI CLARK: Here -- I saved some from the RAVAGER.
ANAKIN: Thanks.
He pours himself a cup of caf.
ANAKIN: Work your dark magic, caf...
And he takes a swig.
