For ladiesbingo
Sep. 21st, 2020 01:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Existence
Summary: It is just to be, isn’t it?
Prompt: Loss
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Leia awakes from another nightmare about losing someone — this time Amilyn.
Amilyn’s sleeping soundly in the next room, thank the Force. Leia’s glad for that; after all, she thinks, she isn’t about to wake Amilyn with her nightmares. Or anyone else.
She shudders to think of how close she came to losing Amilyn. If Amilyn hadn’t gotten to the escape pods in time. If she’d been too late. Another friend, if not more than that. Amilyn, who's been nothing but devoted to her in the best of times, even when Leia has proved that she is, in the end, nothing but human.
Human. To be human — to exist in general — is to be flawed, to be afraid. That Leia knows. To exist is to feel — grief over those misguided and dead in your life. To exist is just to be — and they’re both still here, aren’f they?
Amilyn enters, clad in a nightgown that seems more comfortable than her elaborate purple dress. “I thought I’d see you,” she says. “Just to make sure you’re all right.”
“I’m managing.” Disturbances and darkness and death... “I admit that I was...scared. Of losing you.”
“I’m here.” Amilyn smiles, but it seems to be more like she’s forcing it for Leia.
“Amilyn, you don’t have to force anything for me. Really.” Leia sighs as she speaks. “It’s been a long day.”
She doesn’t have to say anything about Ben. About Luke. About how the Resistance has just been whittled down to a handful.
Amilyn already knows.
“You’re not a bad mother,” Amilyn says, “For...for working in the Senate. I know that you’ve had your worries about that.”
“Slightly.”
“You are strong, Leia. I said that everything I learned was from you, and that’s not really a lie.” A beat. “I may not have done everything right, but I do care for you. With all I am.”
“Amilyn...” Leia won’t deny she’s afraid. She remembers a shift in the Force that meant Han’s death. Everything else. If Amilyn slips away, like they did...
“I do.” Amilyn seems so full of conviction now. "I made my choice, Leia, and whatever happens out there, I’ll be there by your side.”
Leia nods. “I will too. I love you too, Amilyn. More than you know.”
She leans in to rest her head on Amilyn’s shoulder, feeling, finally, like she can lay her burdens down.
Summary: It is just to be, isn’t it?
Prompt: Loss
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Leia awakes from another nightmare about losing someone — this time Amilyn.
Amilyn’s sleeping soundly in the next room, thank the Force. Leia’s glad for that; after all, she thinks, she isn’t about to wake Amilyn with her nightmares. Or anyone else.
She shudders to think of how close she came to losing Amilyn. If Amilyn hadn’t gotten to the escape pods in time. If she’d been too late. Another friend, if not more than that. Amilyn, who's been nothing but devoted to her in the best of times, even when Leia has proved that she is, in the end, nothing but human.
Human. To be human — to exist in general — is to be flawed, to be afraid. That Leia knows. To exist is to feel — grief over those misguided and dead in your life. To exist is just to be — and they’re both still here, aren’f they?
Amilyn enters, clad in a nightgown that seems more comfortable than her elaborate purple dress. “I thought I’d see you,” she says. “Just to make sure you’re all right.”
“I’m managing.” Disturbances and darkness and death... “I admit that I was...scared. Of losing you.”
“I’m here.” Amilyn smiles, but it seems to be more like she’s forcing it for Leia.
“Amilyn, you don’t have to force anything for me. Really.” Leia sighs as she speaks. “It’s been a long day.”
She doesn’t have to say anything about Ben. About Luke. About how the Resistance has just been whittled down to a handful.
Amilyn already knows.
“You’re not a bad mother,” Amilyn says, “For...for working in the Senate. I know that you’ve had your worries about that.”
“Slightly.”
“You are strong, Leia. I said that everything I learned was from you, and that’s not really a lie.” A beat. “I may not have done everything right, but I do care for you. With all I am.”
“Amilyn...” Leia won’t deny she’s afraid. She remembers a shift in the Force that meant Han’s death. Everything else. If Amilyn slips away, like they did...
“I do.” Amilyn seems so full of conviction now. "I made my choice, Leia, and whatever happens out there, I’ll be there by your side.”
Leia nods. “I will too. I love you too, Amilyn. More than you know.”
She leans in to rest her head on Amilyn’s shoulder, feeling, finally, like she can lay her burdens down.
