For hc-bingo
Sep. 12th, 2020 07:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Love and Belief
Summary: Because Poe loves him, and believes in him.
Prompt: Assault
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
They had driven Snoke out of his head, Ben and his uncle. They were heading to D’Qar, as Ben’s mom needed the Jedi Order’s alliance with the Resistance. But old demons didn’t die easily on the Grimtaash, en route to D’Qar.
Lying on his stomach, Ben didn’t know if he could actually look Poe in the eye. These things...they weren’t supposed to happen. Not to Jedi at least. Not to...him. He was better than this, so much better than this, and he had nearly —
He shuddered to think about it. What could have happened. How he could have lost himself. He had seen snippets of him, losing himself in his nightmares, in no doubt snippets from an alternate universe where things could have gone so wrong. All because of his own weakness, his own frailty.
“How can you even look at me?” he murmured.
Poe sighed. “It’s easy, isn’t it? Because it wasn’t your fault. There was nothing about it that was your fault. Snoke, or...whoever got into your head...they lied. About everything.”
Ben raised his head to look at Poe. "He said you’d abandon me. That you'd hate me.”
“Then he lied.” Poe sat down, not far across from Ben. "There is nothing that that monster could do to make me love and believe in you less.”
“Me,” Ben said softly. “You love me.”
"All the same.”
Ben laughed, shakily. He didn’t deserve someone so incandescent, so wonderful and intelligent and having a compassion for other people that seemed boundless. So much he didn’t deserve. "I love you. With all my heart...but how do you know I even deserve it?”
“Everyone wants and deserves to be loved.”
Deserves. Of course Poe would say that.
Poe continued. “And I love you. There’s nothing you could show me that would scare me, nothing that you could show me that would push me away. You’re worthy, Ben. You’re so worthy.”
He didn’t deserve that acceptance, that love. Poe was giving it to him anyway.
“I love you too.” Ben took a shaky breath, overwhelmed just by this one man, how he was blessed by the Force just to have him. “Poe...could you stay a while? I don’t want to be alone.”
"Always. Do you want me to — ”
“The bed. We can share it.” Ben smiled faintly. “It makes sense, doesn’t it? Considering we love each other...”
Poe nodded.
It was in the bed proper that Poe snuggled up to Ben. “You’re big,” he murmured. “Warm too...”
Ben laughed. Really laughed this time. "I’m not big. You’re just...delicate, and I want to protect you.”
“I wouldn’t mind. Being protected by you. I feel you could keep out anyone who comes for us.”
Ben smiled. “I’d give everything.”
He felt Poe’s arms — not super muscular and buff, but they didn’t have to be — encircling him, and even though Ben was taller and bigger, somehow he felt something that he never thought he’d feel: safe.
“Hold me,” he murmured, even as he slipped into a deep sleep.
Summary: Because Poe loves him, and believes in him.
Prompt: Assault
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
They had driven Snoke out of his head, Ben and his uncle. They were heading to D’Qar, as Ben’s mom needed the Jedi Order’s alliance with the Resistance. But old demons didn’t die easily on the Grimtaash, en route to D’Qar.
Lying on his stomach, Ben didn’t know if he could actually look Poe in the eye. These things...they weren’t supposed to happen. Not to Jedi at least. Not to...him. He was better than this, so much better than this, and he had nearly —
He shuddered to think about it. What could have happened. How he could have lost himself. He had seen snippets of him, losing himself in his nightmares, in no doubt snippets from an alternate universe where things could have gone so wrong. All because of his own weakness, his own frailty.
“How can you even look at me?” he murmured.
Poe sighed. “It’s easy, isn’t it? Because it wasn’t your fault. There was nothing about it that was your fault. Snoke, or...whoever got into your head...they lied. About everything.”
Ben raised his head to look at Poe. "He said you’d abandon me. That you'd hate me.”
“Then he lied.” Poe sat down, not far across from Ben. "There is nothing that that monster could do to make me love and believe in you less.”
“Me,” Ben said softly. “You love me.”
"All the same.”
Ben laughed, shakily. He didn’t deserve someone so incandescent, so wonderful and intelligent and having a compassion for other people that seemed boundless. So much he didn’t deserve. "I love you. With all my heart...but how do you know I even deserve it?”
“Everyone wants and deserves to be loved.”
Deserves. Of course Poe would say that.
Poe continued. “And I love you. There’s nothing you could show me that would scare me, nothing that you could show me that would push me away. You’re worthy, Ben. You’re so worthy.”
He didn’t deserve that acceptance, that love. Poe was giving it to him anyway.
“I love you too.” Ben took a shaky breath, overwhelmed just by this one man, how he was blessed by the Force just to have him. “Poe...could you stay a while? I don’t want to be alone.”
"Always. Do you want me to — ”
“The bed. We can share it.” Ben smiled faintly. “It makes sense, doesn’t it? Considering we love each other...”
Poe nodded.
It was in the bed proper that Poe snuggled up to Ben. “You’re big,” he murmured. “Warm too...”
Ben laughed. Really laughed this time. "I’m not big. You’re just...delicate, and I want to protect you.”
“I wouldn’t mind. Being protected by you. I feel you could keep out anyone who comes for us.”
Ben smiled. “I’d give everything.”
He felt Poe’s arms — not super muscular and buff, but they didn’t have to be — encircling him, and even though Ben was taller and bigger, somehow he felt something that he never thought he’d feel: safe.
“Hold me,” he murmured, even as he slipped into a deep sleep.
