For allbingo
Sep. 4th, 2020 02:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Unneeded Sacrifice
Summary: Ben survives Exegol, and he and Rey talk about Poe.
Prompt: Gay
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
She was about to kiss him. A gratitude kiss, but still, there was something in Ben Solo that felt that it simply wasn’t right. Couldn’t be. So he hugged her instead.
“Ben?” Rey said. “Is...oh, Ri’ia, you’re fading fast. Ben, you’re not dying. Not when you saved me.”
Ben could feel her then, pouring a part of her life energy into his. He could feel it, in his veins, liquid warmth. And he felt...well, he felt like he could stand again.
“Rey,” he said, “I don’t deserve...”
“I’m not losing the other half of my dyad,” Rey said, and the fiery conviction in her voice...Ben admired her for it. She was all that he could not be.
“Rey.” Ben said. “You’re a better being than me.”
***
When they had both gotten off Exegol, when Ben and Rey were in medbay (Poe was a bit preoccupied, but he’d made a promise to visit), Ben told her. More about Poe.
“So that was why, Ben?” Rey finally said.
Ben nodded.
“Oh, Ri’ia, I’m so sorry...” Rey’s cheeks turned, rather endearingly, the color of Mustafar’s surface. “I had no idea, Ben; you have to believe me...”
“I should have told you.” Ben sighed as he spoke. “It hurt too much. When I said to you ‘let the past die’, I was trying to sacrifice him too.”
“Because of Snoke?”
Ben nodded. “A lot of it. It hurt too much.”
Rey bit her lip. “Why did you torture him?”
Ben winced. To be perfectly honest, he thought, he was just coming to terms with the fact it was torture. After all, he knew he had hurt Poe, terribly, and he’d cried afterwards, but he had never thought of it as akin to a war crime.
“Snoke,” he said. “It was more than just a task. He wanted to test me.” A beat. “The Sith have a saying. ‘He will strengthen himself through sacrifice. He will immortalize his love.’”
“No women, then,” Rey said. "Ben...would that count as being forced to do something against your will?"
Ben laughed, shakily. “I don’t know. I don’t know what it is.” A sigh. “When Poe and I were stranded, I tried to tell him in so many words that it wasn’t his fault. He deserves more than I can give him, Rey.”
Rey sighed. “Most of the time he just seems...not mean, but just insensitive.”
“Maybe. Maybe I put the seeds in him. But...he is a good man, Rey. He’s kind — he’s willing to help anyone. Funny. Strong. Brave. And you could count on one hand the amount of people he really, truly hates. Maybe a few fingers.” Ben took a deep breath. “That love, that unlimited compassion for others...it’s one of the things that gets him into trouble. But I know that it’s the most beautiful thing about him.”
Rey smiled. “I think I can like that part of you,” she said. "Ben Solo. I want to know that part more. I want to know that better part of Poe too.”
“When I get better, when this is all over — you can learn.”
Summary: Ben survives Exegol, and he and Rey talk about Poe.
Prompt: Gay
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
She was about to kiss him. A gratitude kiss, but still, there was something in Ben Solo that felt that it simply wasn’t right. Couldn’t be. So he hugged her instead.
“Ben?” Rey said. “Is...oh, Ri’ia, you’re fading fast. Ben, you’re not dying. Not when you saved me.”
Ben could feel her then, pouring a part of her life energy into his. He could feel it, in his veins, liquid warmth. And he felt...well, he felt like he could stand again.
“Rey,” he said, “I don’t deserve...”
“I’m not losing the other half of my dyad,” Rey said, and the fiery conviction in her voice...Ben admired her for it. She was all that he could not be.
“Rey.” Ben said. “You’re a better being than me.”
***
When they had both gotten off Exegol, when Ben and Rey were in medbay (Poe was a bit preoccupied, but he’d made a promise to visit), Ben told her. More about Poe.
“So that was why, Ben?” Rey finally said.
Ben nodded.
“Oh, Ri’ia, I’m so sorry...” Rey’s cheeks turned, rather endearingly, the color of Mustafar’s surface. “I had no idea, Ben; you have to believe me...”
“I should have told you.” Ben sighed as he spoke. “It hurt too much. When I said to you ‘let the past die’, I was trying to sacrifice him too.”
“Because of Snoke?”
Ben nodded. “A lot of it. It hurt too much.”
Rey bit her lip. “Why did you torture him?”
Ben winced. To be perfectly honest, he thought, he was just coming to terms with the fact it was torture. After all, he knew he had hurt Poe, terribly, and he’d cried afterwards, but he had never thought of it as akin to a war crime.
“Snoke,” he said. “It was more than just a task. He wanted to test me.” A beat. “The Sith have a saying. ‘He will strengthen himself through sacrifice. He will immortalize his love.’”
“No women, then,” Rey said. "Ben...would that count as being forced to do something against your will?"
Ben laughed, shakily. “I don’t know. I don’t know what it is.” A sigh. “When Poe and I were stranded, I tried to tell him in so many words that it wasn’t his fault. He deserves more than I can give him, Rey.”
Rey sighed. “Most of the time he just seems...not mean, but just insensitive.”
“Maybe. Maybe I put the seeds in him. But...he is a good man, Rey. He’s kind — he’s willing to help anyone. Funny. Strong. Brave. And you could count on one hand the amount of people he really, truly hates. Maybe a few fingers.” Ben took a deep breath. “That love, that unlimited compassion for others...it’s one of the things that gets him into trouble. But I know that it’s the most beautiful thing about him.”
Rey smiled. “I think I can like that part of you,” she said. "Ben Solo. I want to know that part more. I want to know that better part of Poe too.”
“When I get better, when this is all over — you can learn.”
