For genprompt_bingo
Aug. 22nd, 2020 05:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: May The Force Protect Him
Summary: Leia and Poe have a talk after Paige’s death.
Prompt: Abuse (Physical or Emotional)
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warnings: A near instance of physical abuse, though it’s appropriately dealt with.
Leia faces Poe for a while, silence (angry, seething silence) stretching out between them for a while.
It’s when she raises her hand that, for a moment, she doesn’t see Poe. It’s like her vision’s become hazy, blinded with white, and she sees herself — she’s beating Poe, beating him to a pulp, screaming at him. “How dare you defy my orders? I plucked you out of the gutter when you were trying to redeem yourself for being a spice runner — I worked my miserable cargo hold off for you — ” and she’s shouting things that don’t seem to be about Poe anymore, but about Ben, and his betrayal, about Han’s death —
The idea of her hurting either Poe or Ben (because you don’t hurt a soldier under your command or your own child) snaps her out of her haze and she notices Poe there — looking very much scared of her, but unharmed. She hates herself for even thinking about that. Leftovers from when Snoke was trying to mess with her to keep from noticing that Ben was being hunted?
She lowers her hand. There’s murmurs among the crew; obviously they didn’t expect General Leia Organa to actually lose her temper like that, or nearly lose it. But here she is.
“Poe,” she says, “Commander Dameron. I think it’s best that we talk about this in private.”
***
They sit in Leia’s room, a place where Leia, previously, was mourning Han — feeling Luke mourning Han across the galaxy. Even though she was on the Raddus and he was on Ach-To.
“I am angry at you,” Leia says. “Don’t mistake me on that. You acted recklessly, and you cost Paige Tico and the other bombers their lives.”
“They volunteered.”
“I know,” Leia says evenly. “But it could have been avoided, Poe. You’re more responsible than this...is everything all right?”
Poe pauses. Then, "I wanted to make sure no one else got hurt,” he said. “The thing...it was bombing D’Qar as well as firing on us. I thought I was keeping them all safe. And...I guess I was angry. I know that’s not very all-loving of me.”
“Who are you angry at?” Leia says.
“Ren,” Poe says rigidly.
Leia flinches. It’s her fault; she sent Poe into the krayt dragon’s jaws without so much as telling him the truth about what was going on.
“I know.” Poe’s voice softens. “He killed Han. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. And...for what it’s worth, him finding out about BB-8 wasn’t your fault either,” Leia says. “If anything, the fact you smuggled the map inside BB-8 might have averted disaster for you. You were resourceful, Poe.” Lightly, “I guess you were taking pointers from me.”
“If it works,” Poe says, and his features soften a bit. For a moment, Leia can imagine him smiling.
“But I am sorry,” Leia says. “Poe...if we need to put you on suicide watch — ”
“No, really,” Poe says. “It’s okay. I mean...” He sighs. “I’m just mad. But even then, I don’t want him brutalized. Just locked up. And maybe I can get an answer from him. Why he killed Han. Why he killed Tekka. Why he killed those villagers. Stuff like that.”
“And why he tortured you,” Leia says. She takes a deep breath. "Poe...you’re not demoted. But I highly recommend, once we get to safety, that you see a therapist on base. Believe me, it’s not something you carry about on your own.”
Poe nods. “Thank you, General. I’ll...do what I can to make up for it.”
Leia knows she doesn’t deserve him. Doesn’t deserve this man, who throws everything he has into things like this without expecting thanks. She has to tell him at some point, she thinks, as he leaves. She just wonders...is he ready for the burden of it?
It will kill him. If the torture didn’t kill him, knowing the truth will. And she doesn’t think she can live with being responsible for Poe’s death.
Please, Force, keep him safe. He’s rarer than he knows, and he’s not her son (laying claim on Shara Bey’s son is unhealthy as well as unfair to Shara), but she’ll do anything to protect him nonetheless. She’ll do anything to protect any of her soldiers, but this one...she’ll protect this one.
Protect him.
Summary: Leia and Poe have a talk after Paige’s death.
Prompt: Abuse (Physical or Emotional)
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warnings: A near instance of physical abuse, though it’s appropriately dealt with.
Leia faces Poe for a while, silence (angry, seething silence) stretching out between them for a while.
It’s when she raises her hand that, for a moment, she doesn’t see Poe. It’s like her vision’s become hazy, blinded with white, and she sees herself — she’s beating Poe, beating him to a pulp, screaming at him. “How dare you defy my orders? I plucked you out of the gutter when you were trying to redeem yourself for being a spice runner — I worked my miserable cargo hold off for you — ” and she’s shouting things that don’t seem to be about Poe anymore, but about Ben, and his betrayal, about Han’s death —
The idea of her hurting either Poe or Ben (because you don’t hurt a soldier under your command or your own child) snaps her out of her haze and she notices Poe there — looking very much scared of her, but unharmed. She hates herself for even thinking about that. Leftovers from when Snoke was trying to mess with her to keep from noticing that Ben was being hunted?
She lowers her hand. There’s murmurs among the crew; obviously they didn’t expect General Leia Organa to actually lose her temper like that, or nearly lose it. But here she is.
“Poe,” she says, “Commander Dameron. I think it’s best that we talk about this in private.”
***
They sit in Leia’s room, a place where Leia, previously, was mourning Han — feeling Luke mourning Han across the galaxy. Even though she was on the Raddus and he was on Ach-To.
“I am angry at you,” Leia says. “Don’t mistake me on that. You acted recklessly, and you cost Paige Tico and the other bombers their lives.”
“They volunteered.”
“I know,” Leia says evenly. “But it could have been avoided, Poe. You’re more responsible than this...is everything all right?”
Poe pauses. Then, "I wanted to make sure no one else got hurt,” he said. “The thing...it was bombing D’Qar as well as firing on us. I thought I was keeping them all safe. And...I guess I was angry. I know that’s not very all-loving of me.”
“Who are you angry at?” Leia says.
“Ren,” Poe says rigidly.
Leia flinches. It’s her fault; she sent Poe into the krayt dragon’s jaws without so much as telling him the truth about what was going on.
“I know.” Poe’s voice softens. “He killed Han. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. And...for what it’s worth, him finding out about BB-8 wasn’t your fault either,” Leia says. “If anything, the fact you smuggled the map inside BB-8 might have averted disaster for you. You were resourceful, Poe.” Lightly, “I guess you were taking pointers from me.”
“If it works,” Poe says, and his features soften a bit. For a moment, Leia can imagine him smiling.
“But I am sorry,” Leia says. “Poe...if we need to put you on suicide watch — ”
“No, really,” Poe says. “It’s okay. I mean...” He sighs. “I’m just mad. But even then, I don’t want him brutalized. Just locked up. And maybe I can get an answer from him. Why he killed Han. Why he killed Tekka. Why he killed those villagers. Stuff like that.”
“And why he tortured you,” Leia says. She takes a deep breath. "Poe...you’re not demoted. But I highly recommend, once we get to safety, that you see a therapist on base. Believe me, it’s not something you carry about on your own.”
Poe nods. “Thank you, General. I’ll...do what I can to make up for it.”
Leia knows she doesn’t deserve him. Doesn’t deserve this man, who throws everything he has into things like this without expecting thanks. She has to tell him at some point, she thinks, as he leaves. She just wonders...is he ready for the burden of it?
It will kill him. If the torture didn’t kill him, knowing the truth will. And she doesn’t think she can live with being responsible for Poe’s death.
Please, Force, keep him safe. He’s rarer than he knows, and he’s not her son (laying claim on Shara Bey’s son is unhealthy as well as unfair to Shara), but she’ll do anything to protect him nonetheless. She’ll do anything to protect any of her soldiers, but this one...she’ll protect this one.
Protect him.
