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Title: I’m Going Home

Summary: In which Kylo comes back to Poe.

Prompt: Torture/Interrogation

Disclaimer: I own nothing.



Heading down the hallway towards Poe’s cell seemed almost interminable. It should have been simple — but something that Kylo had become desensitized to over the years was far from simple now that Poe was involved. He shouldn’t be here, Kylo thought. He shouldn’t be there, kneeling in the wastes of Tuanul, or in a cell on the Finalizer. He should be safe. Safe.

And yet he was here.

Kylo stopped outside Poe’s cell, briefly. He had heard Poe shouting defiance at the stormtroopers earlier, demanding them to let “Ben” go.

He had to step in eventually.

Poe looked up at him, bruised and bloodied, seeming almost fragile against the rack. Then, “Ben. You came.”

“You’re speaking to the wrong person.”

“General Organa told me. That you were Ben.”

Silence.

“I want to see you.” Poe wasn’t making any sarcastic comments, and it almost scared Kylo. “Just with my own eyes.”

Kylo found himself, despite himself, removing the mask. It wasn’t something that he just did, unless Snoke requested it (Snoke seemed to hate the mask for some reason. Even though Kylo found a sort of safety in all this). But now that Poe already knew who he was...he supposed that there was no use keeping the mask on.

He stood before Poe after, his mask off — his face open for scrutiny. Poe was scrutinizing him; Kylo could feel it, at least in the lower level method of sensing Poe’s thoughts. He could have forced his way into Poe’s mind immediately, taken what he wanted, and yet he had been unable to. Maybe, just to spare Poe, he could be as gentle as he could.

But how could you really be gentle with tor — no, interrogation, Kylo thought. After all, it wasn’t gentle. Snoke had taught him as much. It had been one of many reasons Kylo had disliked the interrogations: because they were brutal, designed to cause as much pain as possible, and if not for the fact that Kylo’s telepathic abilities were powerful...well, it would have been pointless.

Ben Solo had thought it would be more painless than “typical” torture.

Would this be painless for Poe?

"Ben Solo is dead,” Kylo said. It felt rehearsed, almost like a speech to help him sleep. “He was weak and foolish like his father, not to mention not strong enough, uncertain, the lesser son of imposters and giants — ”

Poe smiled faintly. “Hey,” he said. It was as casual as you could get, considering your best friend strapped you to a torture chair. Then, “You kind of look like him. Anakin. Didn’t think you would.”

Kylo smiled faintly. “I suppose I do.”

“You didn’t have to leave,” Poe said, sounding more wounded now. Under the snark, under the cockiness, there was plain and simply hurt — hurt that Kylo had left.

Had anyone else missed him when he left?

“I had to,” Kylo said. “I didn’t want to leave you, but...I wasn’t safe here.”

“What do you mean?”

Kylo paused. Did he tell Poe? That was the question. Did he tell Poe about the pain that he drew on to keep himself angry, about Luke Skywalker trying to kill him? How did he begin to explain?

“It’s a story,” he said, “About a monster...three monsters.”

He spoke. Told Poe about Luke trying to kill him — and he watched as Poe looked utterly shattered. Watched as his faith in Kylo’s mother — the General — fractured like transparisteel. He’d hit on two of Poe’s weaknesses: Ben Solo, and Leia Organa.

“Ben,” Poe said, “You could have gone to me. I could have helped you.”

“It would have broken you.”

“But you told me now.”

“And I’m sorry.” Kylo really was. For the first time in a while. “Poe...you don’t know everything I did.” He remembered what Bastila Shan had said, about there being too much anger in her. Too much hatred and fear. Asking how Revan’s love for her could help her when she was drowning in a sea of darkness. “You wouldn’t forgive everything I did.”

“I love you all the same. Because you were willing to love me all the same.” Poe sighed. “I was redeemed, Ben. You can be too.”

Poe had so much faith in him. Complete and utter faith. Had anyone else? “Snoke’s been hurting me,” he said. “I shouldn’t complain. After all, Darth Sion got worse, my grandfather got worse, Darth Maul and Savage Oppress got worse. But Snoke...” Kylo thought of the sharp edges of rocks, too close to his cheek. The crack of a slap, across his cheek. And even the subtler things, cruel remarks that suggested that Uncle Luke was his better.

“Ben,” Poe said, “You deserve better than this. Nobody deserves this. I was looking for you, all this time. I wish I’d gotten here sooner.”

“It’s not your fault."

“Still. I wouldn’t want this to happen to anyone,” Poe said. “But it’s really something when it happens to someone you love.”

There were those words. Poe dared to say that he loved Kylo — and Kylo almost wanted to tell him not to, that he was unworthy of it.

“I love you,” Poe said. “I love you and believe in you. I always have.”

His will was weakening. Kylo had tried so hard to be a pillar of strength, a symbol, but he was a man instead. Just a man. “I love you too,” he said. “With all my heart.”

“After all this time?”

“Poe,” Kylo said, “There won’t be another you. Not in this lifetime, or the next. Nothing can make me feel safer than to be loved by you. I only wonder...how can I leave? Is there hope for me?”

“You don’t have to go with me to the Resistance," Poe said. “Unless you want to.”

Did he? Maybe it was time. At least to face his parents — and his uncle. Find some semblance of closure with them.

“I don’t expect them to see the good in me,” Kylo said wryly.

“But I do,” Poe said.

Kylo waved his hand, freeing Poe from his restraints. Kylo watched as Poe rubbed his wrists gingerly, clearly stunned at the idea that he was free. That he was okay.

“You saved me,” Poe whispered.

“We need to leave,” Kylo said. “Escape now, rejoice later.”

Poe smiled, almost fondly. “Look at you, sounding like your dad.”

Kylo smiled back. When was the last time he’d done that, at all?

They had to make their way back to the Resistance Base, but just for a change, Kylo wasn’t afraid. For the first time, he knew he was exactly where he should be.

I’m going home.






May 2023

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