For trope_bingo
Apr. 1st, 2020 01:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Like The Sun
Summary: A prelude to a mission.
Prompt: Free Space — Death Fic
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rey had returned from Tatooine after burying Luke and Leia’s lightsabers — Tatooine was the closest home for Luke, and where the Skywalkers had begun. It had been a desire to help the Skywalkers not be forgotten — especially since it was Palpatine’s fault. Her fault as well — a desire to atone...
Had it been her fault? For collapsing at the wrong moment? For dying? For everything? Maybe she was a mistake. Maybe —
Even returning to the Resistance Base, Rey could swear that everything didn’t feel real. Nothing did. Maybe it was a nightmare. A nightmare where she was a Palpatine, and responsible for the destruction of the Skywalker line, for living where Ben died.
“Where’s Poe?” she asked Rose.
“Alone," Rose said. “After the burial services, he just wanted to be alone for a while.”
“Was...someone in that service important to him?”
Rose nodded. “Snap was a dear friend of his. Stars, even Kare’s eulogy...I thought I was gonna cry.”
Rey bit her lip. “Tell Kare that I’m sorry for her loss,” she said.
“I’ll tell her. Rey...you look ill. I can take you to Kalonia’s, if you want...”
“I’m fine,” Rey said. “I’ve seen worse.”
Rose furrowed her brow. "Just...talk to me, Rey. If you need anything. You don’t have to go it alone. Not when you have the biggest family in the Resistance.”
Rey smiled at her. Rose was kinder to her, she thought, than she deserved.
***
“Rose said you were alone,” Rey said, softly, as she approached Poe.
The Resistance Leader just looked tired. “It’s not just Snap,” he said. “I couldn’t tell Rose the full truth. She’d...think less of me. Well, lesser of me than others do.”
“Who thinks less of you?” Rey said.
Poe smiled bitterly. “A lot. I don’t blame them. I’ve been acting like an idiot recently. I think after Crait, I was angry. Needed someone to blame. After trying to find Ben went nowhere...”
“Wait,” Rey said, “You knew Ben?”
She couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy. It was just knowing that she wasn’t alone in knowing Ben. Then again, why wouldn’t Poe? Though why Poe, of all people?
“Our parents were friends,” Poe said. “I know I shouldn’t be telling you this but...I have to tell somebody or I’ll probably explode.”
Rey nodded, slowly. "Why would knowing him make Rose think less of you? I don’t.”
Poe stared at her, disbelieving.
“I saw glimpses of Ben,” she said. “Just glimpses...but I have a feeling that if we’d known each other longer, I would have really liked what I saw.”
Poe nods, slowly. “He was lonely. But funny. Talented. Kind, if sad. Brave. And...”
“You loved him." A beat. “Poe, if you told me, I wouldn’t have thought less of you. No one in their right minds would.”
Poe winced.
“It was the way you talked about him,” Rey said. “The look in your eyes.”
“He mattered to me. I loved him. And those...monsters took him, and reshaped him, and except Han, his own family didn’t even lift a finger to help him. I tried to help him.” Poe seemed to be rambling now. Justified, all things considered. “I had no idea what was going on with him, if it was mental illness or anything like that, but I was there. I listened. And I could have...there was so much...my own stupidity...”
“You’re not stupid,” Rey said.
“There’s just a...fragmented half where he used to be.”
And Rey stared at him, taking in what he said even as his voice cracked, even as he looked away. Poe...she had seen him in many moods: angry, cocky, exuberant, but she had never seen him look so broken.
It was no doubt odd, feeling that way about someone who had tortured you. But Rey knew she felt similarly. It wasn’t romantic. Not necessarily. But Ben had meant something to her, as he had meant something to Poe. People who hurt you couldn’t always be grouped into all-good or all-bad. People who had betrayed you could have loved you, once upon a time.
And they could have been loved, once upon a time.
Rey, hesitantly, sat at the table where Poe was, reached over towards Poe. “I’m sorry, Poe,” she said. “I know you’re...likely wondering why I’m here instead of him.”
“Don’t say that. Of all the people I blame, it’s not you. It’s not like it was up to you, actually." Poe’s voice was oddly gentle, and Rey thought that she could trace the man who had shown Finn kindness when they both had escaped the First Order. She could remember Finn once saying that Poe wasn’t that terrible when she got to know him, at least when Rey occasionally got frustrated with Poe’s stubbornness, his pridefulness. And when she got confused by his moments of being kind — how someone so frustrating could also be so kind.
“Still,” Rey said. “If I hadn’t died then, and then come back...”
“You can blame the Force for that. The Force, and sentient bodies that can’t hold it for very long. It took the General. It took everything.” Poe sounded bitter even as he spoke. “What’s the point? When it’s just picking and choosing who to discard...”
He sounded in so much pain. Rey wanted to protest, but then she thought of how the Skywalkers had good as been cosmic playthings from the beginning...and she couldn’t say Poe was completely wrong.
“I can’t do it, Rey. Not the General. Not...not Ben.” Poe sighed. “There has to be something. Anything...”
Rey nodded. “One of the texts...”
She pulled the text out of her bag. It was heavy, but she managed. Opened the text to the appropriate page. “The World Between Worlds. It’s not so much a means of resurrection. But we can find Ben again. Bring him back. Ezra did it with Ahsoka. And maybe, just maybe, we can save him.”
The way that Poe looked — he looked afraid, but also hopeful. Like the very idea of hope was the most beautiful and terrible thing that could exist in that moment.
“Rey,” he said, “Will it work?"
“I don’t know. This...even with my scavenging work, I never pulled someone out of time. I’m thinking...if we find a World Between Worlds that isn’t damaged, we can start to make things right...” And even explaining how the World Between Worlds was more like a network, with different entrances and exits and bridges, Rey couldn’t help but feel a sort of excitement.
“It sounds crazy,” Poe said. “Meddling with time. But...it’s the right thing to do.”
“It is. Poe...you do love him.” It was a statement, no more, no less.
“Of course I love him,” Poe said, “How could I not?”
“Then we’re going.”
***
Finn agreed to go if only for Rey and Poe’s sake; it was obvious he cared for them both. Rose also volunteered, along with Jannah — neither one of them were inclined to stay behind. “I’m not going to stay on the sidelines,” Rose said. “And miss out on all the adventures.”
Finn smiled fondly at her. “I knew that.”
Rose smiled back. Even though they hadn’t gotten together after Crait proper, Finn and Rose were still on good terms.
“You think I would abandon my girlfriend when she needed me?” Jannah said, squeezing Rose’s hand.
“Figured you wouldn’t,” Finn said.
Rey looked around. She could tell that of the five of them, only two of them really knew and loved Ben, Poe more than Rey. But Finn, Jannah and Rose would follow anyway. Because the five cared about each other, and that counted.
Things had gone so wrong. But now...now, at least they could make things right. As they should be.
Summary: A prelude to a mission.
Prompt: Free Space — Death Fic
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author’s Notes: I apologize for this. Call this a set-up for my Camp NaNoWriMo project. Wish me luck on it!
Rey had returned from Tatooine after burying Luke and Leia’s lightsabers — Tatooine was the closest home for Luke, and where the Skywalkers had begun. It had been a desire to help the Skywalkers not be forgotten — especially since it was Palpatine’s fault. Her fault as well — a desire to atone...
Had it been her fault? For collapsing at the wrong moment? For dying? For everything? Maybe she was a mistake. Maybe —
Even returning to the Resistance Base, Rey could swear that everything didn’t feel real. Nothing did. Maybe it was a nightmare. A nightmare where she was a Palpatine, and responsible for the destruction of the Skywalker line, for living where Ben died.
“Where’s Poe?” she asked Rose.
“Alone," Rose said. “After the burial services, he just wanted to be alone for a while.”
“Was...someone in that service important to him?”
Rose nodded. “Snap was a dear friend of his. Stars, even Kare’s eulogy...I thought I was gonna cry.”
Rey bit her lip. “Tell Kare that I’m sorry for her loss,” she said.
“I’ll tell her. Rey...you look ill. I can take you to Kalonia’s, if you want...”
“I’m fine,” Rey said. “I’ve seen worse.”
Rose furrowed her brow. "Just...talk to me, Rey. If you need anything. You don’t have to go it alone. Not when you have the biggest family in the Resistance.”
Rey smiled at her. Rose was kinder to her, she thought, than she deserved.
***
“Rose said you were alone,” Rey said, softly, as she approached Poe.
The Resistance Leader just looked tired. “It’s not just Snap,” he said. “I couldn’t tell Rose the full truth. She’d...think less of me. Well, lesser of me than others do.”
“Who thinks less of you?” Rey said.
Poe smiled bitterly. “A lot. I don’t blame them. I’ve been acting like an idiot recently. I think after Crait, I was angry. Needed someone to blame. After trying to find Ben went nowhere...”
“Wait,” Rey said, “You knew Ben?”
She couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy. It was just knowing that she wasn’t alone in knowing Ben. Then again, why wouldn’t Poe? Though why Poe, of all people?
“Our parents were friends,” Poe said. “I know I shouldn’t be telling you this but...I have to tell somebody or I’ll probably explode.”
Rey nodded, slowly. "Why would knowing him make Rose think less of you? I don’t.”
Poe stared at her, disbelieving.
“I saw glimpses of Ben,” she said. “Just glimpses...but I have a feeling that if we’d known each other longer, I would have really liked what I saw.”
Poe nods, slowly. “He was lonely. But funny. Talented. Kind, if sad. Brave. And...”
“You loved him." A beat. “Poe, if you told me, I wouldn’t have thought less of you. No one in their right minds would.”
Poe winced.
“It was the way you talked about him,” Rey said. “The look in your eyes.”
“He mattered to me. I loved him. And those...monsters took him, and reshaped him, and except Han, his own family didn’t even lift a finger to help him. I tried to help him.” Poe seemed to be rambling now. Justified, all things considered. “I had no idea what was going on with him, if it was mental illness or anything like that, but I was there. I listened. And I could have...there was so much...my own stupidity...”
“You’re not stupid,” Rey said.
“There’s just a...fragmented half where he used to be.”
And Rey stared at him, taking in what he said even as his voice cracked, even as he looked away. Poe...she had seen him in many moods: angry, cocky, exuberant, but she had never seen him look so broken.
It was no doubt odd, feeling that way about someone who had tortured you. But Rey knew she felt similarly. It wasn’t romantic. Not necessarily. But Ben had meant something to her, as he had meant something to Poe. People who hurt you couldn’t always be grouped into all-good or all-bad. People who had betrayed you could have loved you, once upon a time.
And they could have been loved, once upon a time.
Rey, hesitantly, sat at the table where Poe was, reached over towards Poe. “I’m sorry, Poe,” she said. “I know you’re...likely wondering why I’m here instead of him.”
“Don’t say that. Of all the people I blame, it’s not you. It’s not like it was up to you, actually." Poe’s voice was oddly gentle, and Rey thought that she could trace the man who had shown Finn kindness when they both had escaped the First Order. She could remember Finn once saying that Poe wasn’t that terrible when she got to know him, at least when Rey occasionally got frustrated with Poe’s stubbornness, his pridefulness. And when she got confused by his moments of being kind — how someone so frustrating could also be so kind.
“Still,” Rey said. “If I hadn’t died then, and then come back...”
“You can blame the Force for that. The Force, and sentient bodies that can’t hold it for very long. It took the General. It took everything.” Poe sounded bitter even as he spoke. “What’s the point? When it’s just picking and choosing who to discard...”
He sounded in so much pain. Rey wanted to protest, but then she thought of how the Skywalkers had good as been cosmic playthings from the beginning...and she couldn’t say Poe was completely wrong.
“I can’t do it, Rey. Not the General. Not...not Ben.” Poe sighed. “There has to be something. Anything...”
Rey nodded. “One of the texts...”
She pulled the text out of her bag. It was heavy, but she managed. Opened the text to the appropriate page. “The World Between Worlds. It’s not so much a means of resurrection. But we can find Ben again. Bring him back. Ezra did it with Ahsoka. And maybe, just maybe, we can save him.”
The way that Poe looked — he looked afraid, but also hopeful. Like the very idea of hope was the most beautiful and terrible thing that could exist in that moment.
“Rey,” he said, “Will it work?"
“I don’t know. This...even with my scavenging work, I never pulled someone out of time. I’m thinking...if we find a World Between Worlds that isn’t damaged, we can start to make things right...” And even explaining how the World Between Worlds was more like a network, with different entrances and exits and bridges, Rey couldn’t help but feel a sort of excitement.
“It sounds crazy,” Poe said. “Meddling with time. But...it’s the right thing to do.”
“It is. Poe...you do love him.” It was a statement, no more, no less.
“Of course I love him,” Poe said, “How could I not?”
“Then we’re going.”
***
Finn agreed to go if only for Rey and Poe’s sake; it was obvious he cared for them both. Rose also volunteered, along with Jannah — neither one of them were inclined to stay behind. “I’m not going to stay on the sidelines,” Rose said. “And miss out on all the adventures.”
Finn smiled fondly at her. “I knew that.”
Rose smiled back. Even though they hadn’t gotten together after Crait proper, Finn and Rose were still on good terms.
“You think I would abandon my girlfriend when she needed me?” Jannah said, squeezing Rose’s hand.
“Figured you wouldn’t,” Finn said.
Rey looked around. She could tell that of the five of them, only two of them really knew and loved Ben, Poe more than Rey. But Finn, Jannah and Rose would follow anyway. Because the five cared about each other, and that counted.
Things had gone so wrong. But now...now, at least they could make things right. As they should be.
