For allbingo
Dec. 24th, 2019 12:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Resolution
Summary: In which Poe gets some form of the closure he needs.
Prompt: Forgive
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author’s Notes: Yeah, logically I should be working on Christmas stuff (I guess I’ve been in such a daze I’ve forgotten it’s Christmas Eve), but...one of the things that bothered me about the lack of Darkpilot scenes was that Poe never got closure. I think he does need that.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
Poe couldn’t help but jolt even as he turned around. He hadn’t expected to see Ben again, truthfully — Rey had said that he had become Ben, and that part had given everything so she would live. Poe was glad, at least, that Ben had resurfaced at the end — he just wished that it hadn’t come at such a heavy price. Rey was carrying on the Skywalker name, at least. Said that Palpatine had never been her family. Poe couldn’t argue with that. Palpatine might have been blood, but he had never treated her in any way like family.
“I didn’t think you’d come back,” Poe said.
The way Ben looked...he looked better. His features were smooth, free of scars. And he looked at peace for a change. Poe was at least glad for that. He could remember being a child, and wishing he could take away Ben’s nightmares. He remembered being a spice runner, contacting Ben when he could, all while wondering if he could go back after that explosive argument with his father that led him to run away from home. He could remember Luke saying Ben tried to kill him, and how, somehow, Poe couldn’t help but think there was just something wrong with it, overwhelmingly wrong...
“I wish I had. Sooner.” Ben looked, in that moment, very alone. “I never gave you any form of closure for what I did to you on the Finalizer. I should have.”
Poe paused. He had wracked his brain, wrestling with every emotion, every nuance, that he could reach. Everything that he was struggling with. And it was wrong, it was odd, but somehow...
“No matter how much I try to hate you, I can’t,” Poe said.
“You should, you know. Just because I sacrificed myself for one scavenger doesn’t undo what I’ve done. It doesn’t bring back the dead.”
“You did do bad things. A lot of them,” Poe said. “But when you turned your back on being Kylo, when you did what you did...I knew Ben was back. And I knew that when I learned you were Kylo...I knew there was something wrong with it. That it wasn’t you.”
“You have too much faith in me. Even...even when I broke your mind.”
“It’s mending,” Poe said. “And...it’s not okay, any of the evil you did. It doesn’t mean you didn’t do good at the end. It doesn’t undo all the good you did before. It doesn’t erase the man I loved.”
Ben smiled faintly. “Poe Dameron, when did you get so wise?” he teased.
Poe laughed. Somehow, he felt like crying too. When was the last time Ben seemed so relaxed?
Then, more seriously, “Tell me everything. What happened.”
Ben did. Told him about the strange leader of the Knights of Ren, who had (with Snoke, who was somehow working as a gardener. Even that mental image was enough to make Poe want to laugh, and he would have if so much bad hadn’t happened) made Ben feel, momentarily, like he wasn’t the only one who heard the galaxy screaming at night. Told him about Luke...how Palpatine (likely as some petty form of revenge for Luke contributing to his death) had tried to mind-control Luke into killing Ben, only for Luke to snap out of it in time...only for Ben to misinterpret and things to escalate horribly.
And then there was Snoke. Dear stars, there was Snoke. How he had taken Ben and found ways to break him, again and again...
“I’m sorry,” Poe said. “I’m sorry you were so alone.”
“It’s not your fault. I know it’s not enough, but everything I did to you...I’m sorry. Even bargaining with Snoke...”
Ben trailed off. He seemed to be remembering that awful day too. Somehow, Poe wished they had been able to confront each other earlier. To get some form of resolution there. You couldn’t rewind and do things over again, though. You had to keep moving.
“You bargained with Snoke?”
Ben nodded. “I didn’t want to do it,” he said. “I tried to be subtle. Suggest other ways. Snoke...well, I remember he threatened to order your execution. Maybe he was bluffing. He had to be. But he said that he’d find a way to arrange it. And I believed him. Stars, I believed him.”
Poe nodded. “It doesn’t make it okay,” he said, “But I knew that there was something wrong with the idea of you torturing me. I knew it was all wrong.”
“It happened. And it was all wrong.”
They were quiet. Just a while. Then Poe told him. About rebuilding the Republic. About how Rey and Finn married. Ben listened, smiling faintly. Then, “Even...dead, do I have room in your future?”
“We’ll find a way. It’d be easy for me to go to Zorii. Or to Jess. Or Kare.” Kare was still mourning her husband’s death at the battle of Exegol. “But there’s no other you, Ben. I doubt there ever could be.”
“And there would never be another you.” Ben said. “You deserve so much, though. Someone you can touch. Someone you can hold.”
Poe smiled. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes. “We’ll find a way to make it work. Somehow, Ben. Somehow. We can do this. Turn this hell into Iego. Somehow.”
Ben’s smile...when was the last time that he actually smiled like that? “Yes,” he said. “We will.”
Summary: In which Poe gets some form of the closure he needs.
Prompt: Forgive
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author’s Notes: Yeah, logically I should be working on Christmas stuff (I guess I’ve been in such a daze I’ve forgotten it’s Christmas Eve), but...one of the things that bothered me about the lack of Darkpilot scenes was that Poe never got closure. I think he does need that.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
Poe couldn’t help but jolt even as he turned around. He hadn’t expected to see Ben again, truthfully — Rey had said that he had become Ben, and that part had given everything so she would live. Poe was glad, at least, that Ben had resurfaced at the end — he just wished that it hadn’t come at such a heavy price. Rey was carrying on the Skywalker name, at least. Said that Palpatine had never been her family. Poe couldn’t argue with that. Palpatine might have been blood, but he had never treated her in any way like family.
“I didn’t think you’d come back,” Poe said.
The way Ben looked...he looked better. His features were smooth, free of scars. And he looked at peace for a change. Poe was at least glad for that. He could remember being a child, and wishing he could take away Ben’s nightmares. He remembered being a spice runner, contacting Ben when he could, all while wondering if he could go back after that explosive argument with his father that led him to run away from home. He could remember Luke saying Ben tried to kill him, and how, somehow, Poe couldn’t help but think there was just something wrong with it, overwhelmingly wrong...
“I wish I had. Sooner.” Ben looked, in that moment, very alone. “I never gave you any form of closure for what I did to you on the Finalizer. I should have.”
Poe paused. He had wracked his brain, wrestling with every emotion, every nuance, that he could reach. Everything that he was struggling with. And it was wrong, it was odd, but somehow...
“No matter how much I try to hate you, I can’t,” Poe said.
“You should, you know. Just because I sacrificed myself for one scavenger doesn’t undo what I’ve done. It doesn’t bring back the dead.”
“You did do bad things. A lot of them,” Poe said. “But when you turned your back on being Kylo, when you did what you did...I knew Ben was back. And I knew that when I learned you were Kylo...I knew there was something wrong with it. That it wasn’t you.”
“You have too much faith in me. Even...even when I broke your mind.”
“It’s mending,” Poe said. “And...it’s not okay, any of the evil you did. It doesn’t mean you didn’t do good at the end. It doesn’t undo all the good you did before. It doesn’t erase the man I loved.”
Ben smiled faintly. “Poe Dameron, when did you get so wise?” he teased.
Poe laughed. Somehow, he felt like crying too. When was the last time Ben seemed so relaxed?
Then, more seriously, “Tell me everything. What happened.”
Ben did. Told him about the strange leader of the Knights of Ren, who had (with Snoke, who was somehow working as a gardener. Even that mental image was enough to make Poe want to laugh, and he would have if so much bad hadn’t happened) made Ben feel, momentarily, like he wasn’t the only one who heard the galaxy screaming at night. Told him about Luke...how Palpatine (likely as some petty form of revenge for Luke contributing to his death) had tried to mind-control Luke into killing Ben, only for Luke to snap out of it in time...only for Ben to misinterpret and things to escalate horribly.
And then there was Snoke. Dear stars, there was Snoke. How he had taken Ben and found ways to break him, again and again...
“I’m sorry,” Poe said. “I’m sorry you were so alone.”
“It’s not your fault. I know it’s not enough, but everything I did to you...I’m sorry. Even bargaining with Snoke...”
Ben trailed off. He seemed to be remembering that awful day too. Somehow, Poe wished they had been able to confront each other earlier. To get some form of resolution there. You couldn’t rewind and do things over again, though. You had to keep moving.
“You bargained with Snoke?”
Ben nodded. “I didn’t want to do it,” he said. “I tried to be subtle. Suggest other ways. Snoke...well, I remember he threatened to order your execution. Maybe he was bluffing. He had to be. But he said that he’d find a way to arrange it. And I believed him. Stars, I believed him.”
Poe nodded. “It doesn’t make it okay,” he said, “But I knew that there was something wrong with the idea of you torturing me. I knew it was all wrong.”
“It happened. And it was all wrong.”
They were quiet. Just a while. Then Poe told him. About rebuilding the Republic. About how Rey and Finn married. Ben listened, smiling faintly. Then, “Even...dead, do I have room in your future?”
“We’ll find a way. It’d be easy for me to go to Zorii. Or to Jess. Or Kare.” Kare was still mourning her husband’s death at the battle of Exegol. “But there’s no other you, Ben. I doubt there ever could be.”
“And there would never be another you.” Ben said. “You deserve so much, though. Someone you can touch. Someone you can hold.”
Poe smiled. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes. “We’ll find a way to make it work. Somehow, Ben. Somehow. We can do this. Turn this hell into Iego. Somehow.”
Ben’s smile...when was the last time that he actually smiled like that? “Yes,” he said. “We will.”
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