For hc-bingo
Sep. 17th, 2019 01:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Partners
Summary: After a fight with Leia, Poe finds common ground with Rey.
Prompt: On the Run
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
“I’m not going to kill him.”
Even as Poe Dameron said it, Rey couldn’t help but listen from the corridors. The shouting match in the main hold had woken Rey up from her recurring nightmare about a version of herself with a red lightsaber.
“Get your head out of your cockpit, Poe,” General Organa said, too harshly for Rey’s liking. “There is no good left in him. How many people has he killed? Have you forgotten? Including a whole village...”
“I was there — ”
“He needs to be stopped, and if that means putting him down like a rabid kath hound — ”
“Well, good to know you’re as cold as the Falcon’s hull!” Poe snapped. “No wonder Ben fell, having a mother as heartless as you.”
Rey stiffened. She hadn’t expected Poe to speak to General Organa so cruelly, but then again, she hadn’t expected a mother to compare her own son, cruel as he was, to an animal with rabies.
Poe stormed out, only to nearly collide with Rey. “What, you want to weigh in?”
“What are you talking about?” Rey said. “I heard shouting. I thought something was wrong, so...”
Judging by how rigid Poe really was, Rey could tell that nothing was all right, and everything was wrong, thank you very much.
“I had a...disagreement with General Organa,” Poe said. “It’s not a big deal.”
Rey wished she could say that she believed it, really.
***
They still had miles to go before they reached any sort of safety. Even looking over at Finn eating with Rose Tico, Rey couldn’t help but feel at least a pang of discontent, realizing that she was good at looking at the couple through transparisteel. She wasn’t usually one to understand why one would lose their appetite, but even watching Rose laugh at a joke that Finn told her — well, Rey wished that she hadn’t thrown things away so easily.
Sorry I good as betrayed you, Finn. Sorry I was duped by someone who didn’t want to be saved. It still hurts like hell...
“Hey.” Poe’s voice. “You okay?”
“I thought you didn’t want to talk to me.”
Poe sighed. “Sorry. You caught me at a really, really bad time.”
Rey nodded. “Got it.” She smiled, if feebly. “You okay?” She and Poe has formed, at most, a shaky friendship, mostly because they were both close to Finn. Were. Did Finn somehow think less of her for her mistake?
“A bit tired. How about you? Not like you to pick at your food.”
Rey raised an eyebrow.
“Um, not that that’s...bad that you don’t usually pick at your food. I’m just worried about you.”
Rey relaxed. “I’m okay.” How did she tell him, though, that she had broken things with Finn, all because she’d been tricked?
She could still remember Snoke’s words to her, sneering and cruel. It was I who bridges your minds...
“Can we talk in private?” Rey said. “I don’t want to...announce things to everybody.”
“Hey,” Poe said. “No problem.”
***
The medbay was as good a place to talk as any. “I just hope people don’t think we’re dating,” Rey said.
Poe laughed, but there was a sad tinge to it. “No need to worry. You’re just a friend.”
It was odd, Poe thinking of her as a friend even after she had needled him about crashing a TIE fighter, but Poe was a genuinely kind man. Rey couldn’t deny that. A good man. If Finn hadn’t caught her eye first...well, who knew?
Rey shrugged. “You have a weird definition of ‘friend’.”
“I say you count. You’re a good woman, Rey.”
Rey smiled faintly. “I do my best.” Then, “That fight you had with the General...”
“It’s embarrassing. I mean...it’s like ever since D’Qar, I’ve been doing stupider things. Hell, Holdo sacrificed herself and my last words to her were basically staging a mutiny. I wish I’d said I appreciated what she was doing. And that I was sorry.”
“Kaydel told me a bit about it,” Rey said. “You did nothing wrong.”
Poe sighed. “Maybe.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I made a...joke about us being torture buddies. Mostly because it’s that or collapse.”
“I don’t understand why you don’t want to kill him.”
Poe shrugged. “You didn’t want to.”
“I want to know why you can’t.”
Poe sighed. “When I first met Ben Solo, he’d been sent away to Yavin to be trained. He was actually convinced he’d done something bad. Like his parents hated him.” Poe snorted. “Kriff, I can’t imagine what that does to a kid.”
“Yeah.” Rey didn’t have to imagine it. In a way, she’d lived it.
“We became friends, he and I. It was as we both got older, grew up, that I realized that it was more than that. Stars...I even imagined giving this,” and here, Poe tapped the ring hanging around his neck on a chain, “To him. “He meant...”
Rey didn’t have to ask further. Poe Dameron had once loved Ben Solo. It made her almost feel foolish for calling him “Ben”, for acting like she knew him. Poe hadn’t just known the name “Ben”, but all of him, and had loved him with all he was.
“You don’t have to say anything else,” Rey said.
Poe chuckled, almost miserably. “Honestly, why not? It’s not like I can talk to the General about this...”
He continued. And Rey could put the pieces together from there. She could imagine, if she could, Ben saying goodbye to Poe. After he had burned down a Temple. After he had killed half the students. It made her skin prickle, thinking of him contrasting that goodbye to Poe with the murders he’d committed, no doubt making promises to Poe, promises he couldn’t keep.
Wouldn’t keep.
“I’m sorry,” she said, softly. Poe wasn’t crying, but he looked on the brink of it. Rey would have been surprised if he wasn’t, really.
“Not your fault.” Poe forced a smile. “Plus, you got it worse. You and Finn...you went through things I can’t even imagine.”
“If’s not a competition,” Rey said. “Besides...losing someone like that — I don’t know how you haven’t become bitter as a result.”
“The galaxy is a fundamentally good place. Even with all the bad.”
Rey nodded. There were definitely specks of beauty to be found — Takodana, and realizing that yes, there was life there, and not just desert.
Poe continued. “Did he tell you why? Why he left?”
Rey bit her lip. How was she even supposed to begin explaining to Poe what happened?
“It’ll hurt you,” Rey said.
“I don’t see how it can be worse,” Poe said. His smile was strained.
Rey told him, and she watched as Poe’s eyes widened — as it was like something simply gave way. Then, Poe spoke. “And Luke actually thought it was a good idea? He was willing to see the good in Vader, but not Ben, even before Ben actually did something wrong? I — ”
“I wish I knew,” Rey said. “Even when Luke confirmed it, he tried to explain himself, but it wasn’t enough. He didn’t really...explain anything."
“Why didn’t he come to me?” Poe said. “I could have protected him.”
Rey paused. Poe had a gentle, loving heart, but would that have been enough?
“It wasn’t your fault,” Rey said. “Of everyone in this situation...what happened to Ben Solo was not your fault.”
“Is there...anything left? I mean, he hurt me, but I can’t just leave him...”
Rey took a deep breath. “Whatever we do, we do together,” she said. "At least...General Organa has a right to know.”
"Yeah. Maybe tomorrow. She’s probably still angry at me.”
“I can help.”
They sat together, and for a moment, Rey could swear that they weren’t just people connected through Finn, but partners. Platonic partners, but it was a step forward nonetheless.
Summary: After a fight with Leia, Poe finds common ground with Rey.
Prompt: On the Run
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
“I’m not going to kill him.”
Even as Poe Dameron said it, Rey couldn’t help but listen from the corridors. The shouting match in the main hold had woken Rey up from her recurring nightmare about a version of herself with a red lightsaber.
“Get your head out of your cockpit, Poe,” General Organa said, too harshly for Rey’s liking. “There is no good left in him. How many people has he killed? Have you forgotten? Including a whole village...”
“I was there — ”
“He needs to be stopped, and if that means putting him down like a rabid kath hound — ”
“Well, good to know you’re as cold as the Falcon’s hull!” Poe snapped. “No wonder Ben fell, having a mother as heartless as you.”
Rey stiffened. She hadn’t expected Poe to speak to General Organa so cruelly, but then again, she hadn’t expected a mother to compare her own son, cruel as he was, to an animal with rabies.
Poe stormed out, only to nearly collide with Rey. “What, you want to weigh in?”
“What are you talking about?” Rey said. “I heard shouting. I thought something was wrong, so...”
Judging by how rigid Poe really was, Rey could tell that nothing was all right, and everything was wrong, thank you very much.
“I had a...disagreement with General Organa,” Poe said. “It’s not a big deal.”
Rey wished she could say that she believed it, really.
***
They still had miles to go before they reached any sort of safety. Even looking over at Finn eating with Rose Tico, Rey couldn’t help but feel at least a pang of discontent, realizing that she was good at looking at the couple through transparisteel. She wasn’t usually one to understand why one would lose their appetite, but even watching Rose laugh at a joke that Finn told her — well, Rey wished that she hadn’t thrown things away so easily.
Sorry I good as betrayed you, Finn. Sorry I was duped by someone who didn’t want to be saved. It still hurts like hell...
“Hey.” Poe’s voice. “You okay?”
“I thought you didn’t want to talk to me.”
Poe sighed. “Sorry. You caught me at a really, really bad time.”
Rey nodded. “Got it.” She smiled, if feebly. “You okay?” She and Poe has formed, at most, a shaky friendship, mostly because they were both close to Finn. Were. Did Finn somehow think less of her for her mistake?
“A bit tired. How about you? Not like you to pick at your food.”
Rey raised an eyebrow.
“Um, not that that’s...bad that you don’t usually pick at your food. I’m just worried about you.”
Rey relaxed. “I’m okay.” How did she tell him, though, that she had broken things with Finn, all because she’d been tricked?
She could still remember Snoke’s words to her, sneering and cruel. It was I who bridges your minds...
“Can we talk in private?” Rey said. “I don’t want to...announce things to everybody.”
“Hey,” Poe said. “No problem.”
***
The medbay was as good a place to talk as any. “I just hope people don’t think we’re dating,” Rey said.
Poe laughed, but there was a sad tinge to it. “No need to worry. You’re just a friend.”
It was odd, Poe thinking of her as a friend even after she had needled him about crashing a TIE fighter, but Poe was a genuinely kind man. Rey couldn’t deny that. A good man. If Finn hadn’t caught her eye first...well, who knew?
Rey shrugged. “You have a weird definition of ‘friend’.”
“I say you count. You’re a good woman, Rey.”
Rey smiled faintly. “I do my best.” Then, “That fight you had with the General...”
“It’s embarrassing. I mean...it’s like ever since D’Qar, I’ve been doing stupider things. Hell, Holdo sacrificed herself and my last words to her were basically staging a mutiny. I wish I’d said I appreciated what she was doing. And that I was sorry.”
“Kaydel told me a bit about it,” Rey said. “You did nothing wrong.”
Poe sighed. “Maybe.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I made a...joke about us being torture buddies. Mostly because it’s that or collapse.”
“I don’t understand why you don’t want to kill him.”
Poe shrugged. “You didn’t want to.”
“I want to know why you can’t.”
Poe sighed. “When I first met Ben Solo, he’d been sent away to Yavin to be trained. He was actually convinced he’d done something bad. Like his parents hated him.” Poe snorted. “Kriff, I can’t imagine what that does to a kid.”
“Yeah.” Rey didn’t have to imagine it. In a way, she’d lived it.
“We became friends, he and I. It was as we both got older, grew up, that I realized that it was more than that. Stars...I even imagined giving this,” and here, Poe tapped the ring hanging around his neck on a chain, “To him. “He meant...”
Rey didn’t have to ask further. Poe Dameron had once loved Ben Solo. It made her almost feel foolish for calling him “Ben”, for acting like she knew him. Poe hadn’t just known the name “Ben”, but all of him, and had loved him with all he was.
“You don’t have to say anything else,” Rey said.
Poe chuckled, almost miserably. “Honestly, why not? It’s not like I can talk to the General about this...”
He continued. And Rey could put the pieces together from there. She could imagine, if she could, Ben saying goodbye to Poe. After he had burned down a Temple. After he had killed half the students. It made her skin prickle, thinking of him contrasting that goodbye to Poe with the murders he’d committed, no doubt making promises to Poe, promises he couldn’t keep.
Wouldn’t keep.
“I’m sorry,” she said, softly. Poe wasn’t crying, but he looked on the brink of it. Rey would have been surprised if he wasn’t, really.
“Not your fault.” Poe forced a smile. “Plus, you got it worse. You and Finn...you went through things I can’t even imagine.”
“If’s not a competition,” Rey said. “Besides...losing someone like that — I don’t know how you haven’t become bitter as a result.”
“The galaxy is a fundamentally good place. Even with all the bad.”
Rey nodded. There were definitely specks of beauty to be found — Takodana, and realizing that yes, there was life there, and not just desert.
Poe continued. “Did he tell you why? Why he left?”
Rey bit her lip. How was she even supposed to begin explaining to Poe what happened?
“It’ll hurt you,” Rey said.
“I don’t see how it can be worse,” Poe said. His smile was strained.
Rey told him, and she watched as Poe’s eyes widened — as it was like something simply gave way. Then, Poe spoke. “And Luke actually thought it was a good idea? He was willing to see the good in Vader, but not Ben, even before Ben actually did something wrong? I — ”
“I wish I knew,” Rey said. “Even when Luke confirmed it, he tried to explain himself, but it wasn’t enough. He didn’t really...explain anything."
“Why didn’t he come to me?” Poe said. “I could have protected him.”
Rey paused. Poe had a gentle, loving heart, but would that have been enough?
“It wasn’t your fault,” Rey said. “Of everyone in this situation...what happened to Ben Solo was not your fault.”
“Is there...anything left? I mean, he hurt me, but I can’t just leave him...”
Rey took a deep breath. “Whatever we do, we do together,” she said. "At least...General Organa has a right to know.”
"Yeah. Maybe tomorrow. She’s probably still angry at me.”
“I can help.”
They sat together, and for a moment, Rey could swear that they weren’t just people connected through Finn, but partners. Platonic partners, but it was a step forward nonetheless.
