For trope_bingo
Jun. 26th, 2019 06:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Unworthy
Summary: Poe’s past with Kylo Ren is revealed to the Resistance.
Prompt: Future Fic
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
“As you all may know,” Larma D’Arcy says, “General Organa has...nominated Poe Dameron to be her successor.”
They’re on Bespin, in the makeshift conference room that they’ve rented for themselves. Poe looks up. He can already feel the tension in the room coming from the others. Some people still blame him for D’Qar, for the Resistance being whittled down to a handful. Poe supposes that he doesn’t completely blame them.
Larma continues. “The decision is a...questionable one. Commander Dameron has shown considerably poor judgment. He sacrificed the entire Republic bombing fleet in the name of hypermasculine foolishness."
Poe shifts uncomfortably. Rose has said that she doesn’t blame him, but the death of Paige Tico still weighs on him heavily. It’s all but gnawing at him with sharp teeth.
He can practically feel the others judging him.
Larma continues. “He started a mutiny against the late Admiral Holdo — treason, I might add.”
Kaydel seems about to speak up, only for Rose to hold her back.
Larma continues. “But even that is not the biggest factor that could cloud his judgment. Considering the history between Poe Dameron and Kylo Ren, I fear it could keep him from killing Ren when he needs to.”
The room erupts in chaos, some demanding an explanation from D’Arcy, some agreeing, some taking Poe’s side. And Poe is in the center of it all.
***
It’s after all this that Poe goes back to his quarters. He’s exhausted now; he thought he could deal with the pain of what exactly Ben did, but it seems that he was completely and utterly wrong. He was at least a candidate for being Leader of the Resistance, but that...that’s up for question now. Not only because of his own connection to Kylo Ren, but also because of his actions in regards to Holdo. He’s still ashamed of both.
BB-8 dwoos softly even as he wheels up near Poe. Poe smiles thinly. “I’m fine,” he says. “Really.”
He doesn’t feel fine, but points for trying, Dameron.
Footsteps. Behind him is Rey, and there’s nothing but infinite compassion on her face. “Poe,” she says. “Are you okay?”
“None of your business,” Poe snaps.
“Poe, I didn’t expect it. Finn didn’t expect it. We’re on your side. I mean...you might have made a mistake, but you don’t deserve this.”
He can believe her. Somehow, it’s what he needs to hear. “Thank you, Rey,” he says.
“Do you need to talk?” Rey says. “Finn’s in my room. We can talk if you need to.”
***
Caffa helps. Even introducing Rey to it, she seems fascinated with the idea of a beverage meant to be served warm. Poe feels a tug of affection towards her despite himself. Finally, he says, “D’Arcy was right in one respect. Well, two. I did know Ben, and I am guilty of rebelling against Holdo. I don’t give a flying stang that she was a woman; I cared that she could have killed us all through her own secrecy.”
“Poe, calm down,” Finn says. “You don’t have to justify yourself. Really.”
Rey nods. “She doesn’t sound like she was a good leader. I don’t blame you.”
Poe winces a little. He doesn’t feel comfortable speaking ill of the dead, though he is grateful that Rey doesn’t think he’s a monster. He continues. “I first met Ben when he was a kid. His mother had dropped him off on Yavin to train with Luke, and he was scared to death. I did what I could to help him...”
Yes. That’s true enough. It could apply to just about everything else, Poe thinks. He gave Ben Solo all he had. Maybe he wasn’t enough for Ben, even though he desperately wanted to be. More than anything, he wanted to be.
“He never told me about anything but...Luke. What Luke nearly did to him.” Rey, this time.
“What?” Poe can already feel his insides turn to ice.
Rey tells him, and it’s like that icy feeling turns to freezing rage. He tried to hurt my treasure, my Ben —
“Poe?” Rey’s voice sounds so far away. “Poe, are you all right?”
“That goddamn son of a schutta.” Poe says. “If he wasn’t already dead I’d shoot him...”
“He didn’t go through with it. He couldn’t do it...” Rey says it like it’s supposed to make things better. It doesn’t.
“Yeah, yeah,” Poe snaps. “I don’t see a difference. And he invaded his mind while he was asleep? Kriff, he’s good as responsible for everything that happened and he’s being martyred...”
Rey looks at him with the utmost pity.
“He good as took Ben from me,” Poe says, and then he knows he needs to stop talking because he’s saying too much.
Finn doesn’t say anything, though the look of pity says volumes more than anything.
“There wasn’t anything we could do anyway.” Rey sounds tired. “I thought I could help him, but there was too much anger inside him. Too much hate.”
“He can’t be gone, Rey.”
Rey sighs. “I don’t know anymore.”
She sounds so tired, so sad, like this is something she’s just coming to terms with.
Finn speaks up. “You really loved him, didn’t you?”
“Beyond hope.”
And Poe knows that perhaps that is what he’ll always feel.
Summary: Poe’s past with Kylo Ren is revealed to the Resistance.
Prompt: Future Fic
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
“As you all may know,” Larma D’Arcy says, “General Organa has...nominated Poe Dameron to be her successor.”
They’re on Bespin, in the makeshift conference room that they’ve rented for themselves. Poe looks up. He can already feel the tension in the room coming from the others. Some people still blame him for D’Qar, for the Resistance being whittled down to a handful. Poe supposes that he doesn’t completely blame them.
Larma continues. “The decision is a...questionable one. Commander Dameron has shown considerably poor judgment. He sacrificed the entire Republic bombing fleet in the name of hypermasculine foolishness."
Poe shifts uncomfortably. Rose has said that she doesn’t blame him, but the death of Paige Tico still weighs on him heavily. It’s all but gnawing at him with sharp teeth.
He can practically feel the others judging him.
Larma continues. “He started a mutiny against the late Admiral Holdo — treason, I might add.”
Kaydel seems about to speak up, only for Rose to hold her back.
Larma continues. “But even that is not the biggest factor that could cloud his judgment. Considering the history between Poe Dameron and Kylo Ren, I fear it could keep him from killing Ren when he needs to.”
The room erupts in chaos, some demanding an explanation from D’Arcy, some agreeing, some taking Poe’s side. And Poe is in the center of it all.
***
It’s after all this that Poe goes back to his quarters. He’s exhausted now; he thought he could deal with the pain of what exactly Ben did, but it seems that he was completely and utterly wrong. He was at least a candidate for being Leader of the Resistance, but that...that’s up for question now. Not only because of his own connection to Kylo Ren, but also because of his actions in regards to Holdo. He’s still ashamed of both.
BB-8 dwoos softly even as he wheels up near Poe. Poe smiles thinly. “I’m fine,” he says. “Really.”
He doesn’t feel fine, but points for trying, Dameron.
Footsteps. Behind him is Rey, and there’s nothing but infinite compassion on her face. “Poe,” she says. “Are you okay?”
“None of your business,” Poe snaps.
“Poe, I didn’t expect it. Finn didn’t expect it. We’re on your side. I mean...you might have made a mistake, but you don’t deserve this.”
He can believe her. Somehow, it’s what he needs to hear. “Thank you, Rey,” he says.
“Do you need to talk?” Rey says. “Finn’s in my room. We can talk if you need to.”
***
Caffa helps. Even introducing Rey to it, she seems fascinated with the idea of a beverage meant to be served warm. Poe feels a tug of affection towards her despite himself. Finally, he says, “D’Arcy was right in one respect. Well, two. I did know Ben, and I am guilty of rebelling against Holdo. I don’t give a flying stang that she was a woman; I cared that she could have killed us all through her own secrecy.”
“Poe, calm down,” Finn says. “You don’t have to justify yourself. Really.”
Rey nods. “She doesn’t sound like she was a good leader. I don’t blame you.”
Poe winces a little. He doesn’t feel comfortable speaking ill of the dead, though he is grateful that Rey doesn’t think he’s a monster. He continues. “I first met Ben when he was a kid. His mother had dropped him off on Yavin to train with Luke, and he was scared to death. I did what I could to help him...”
Yes. That’s true enough. It could apply to just about everything else, Poe thinks. He gave Ben Solo all he had. Maybe he wasn’t enough for Ben, even though he desperately wanted to be. More than anything, he wanted to be.
“He never told me about anything but...Luke. What Luke nearly did to him.” Rey, this time.
“What?” Poe can already feel his insides turn to ice.
Rey tells him, and it’s like that icy feeling turns to freezing rage. He tried to hurt my treasure, my Ben —
“Poe?” Rey’s voice sounds so far away. “Poe, are you all right?”
“That goddamn son of a schutta.” Poe says. “If he wasn’t already dead I’d shoot him...”
“He didn’t go through with it. He couldn’t do it...” Rey says it like it’s supposed to make things better. It doesn’t.
“Yeah, yeah,” Poe snaps. “I don’t see a difference. And he invaded his mind while he was asleep? Kriff, he’s good as responsible for everything that happened and he’s being martyred...”
Rey looks at him with the utmost pity.
“He good as took Ben from me,” Poe says, and then he knows he needs to stop talking because he’s saying too much.
Finn doesn’t say anything, though the look of pity says volumes more than anything.
“There wasn’t anything we could do anyway.” Rey sounds tired. “I thought I could help him, but there was too much anger inside him. Too much hate.”
“He can’t be gone, Rey.”
Rey sighs. “I don’t know anymore.”
She sounds so tired, so sad, like this is something she’s just coming to terms with.
Finn speaks up. “You really loved him, didn’t you?”
“Beyond hope.”
And Poe knows that perhaps that is what he’ll always feel.
