For hc-bingo
Jun. 19th, 2019 12:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Stay
Summary: An argument, and a resolution.
Prompt: Abandonment Issues
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
He’d be damned if he knew what the argument was about, but seeing the look on Poe’s face, the look of hurt and surprise and anger, he knew he’d gone too far.
Even as Poe left, Ben could have kicked himself. He couldn’t help but remember his parents’ own fights, how vicious they’d get. Now he and Poe...they were like them.
***
Ben couldn’t help but pace the apartment long after Poe stormed out, hating himself. It was just like what he did to Poe so many years ago, leaving him and later torturing him. He was letting pure, unadulterated selfishness get in the way of everything today. He loved Poe. Sometimes he swore he loved him so much he thought it would burn him. Poe was too Light for him, too beautiful, why did he even stay?
It was a good thing Shara was off at school. At least she wouldn’t have to see her Daddy in this predicament. Ben didn’t throw tantrums anymore, but stars, the idea of taking a lightsaber to certain aspects of the apartment — but he couldn’t do that.
It was lunch when Poe returned, and Ben couldn’t face him. In his mind, he thought of his mother abandoning him for the first time on Yavin with his uncle. The thought that he had had too much Vader in him (even his mother’s apology didn’t register right now). The feeling of sheer, unadulterated freakishness that he’d felt hearing his parents arguing about him, his father trying to defend him, his mother afraid.
And there was Poe. Why did Poe stay with this former-murdering-and-torturing, horse-faced, messy fool when he could have —
“Ben?” Poe’s voice was soft. “I know you’re mad.”
And Ben found himself holding Poe close, saying he wasn’t mad, not even a bit, and he supposed, in the end, that was that.
***
Shara was down for the night, no doubt sleeping like a rock while Ben and Poe spoke to one another. “It’s all right, you know,” Poe said. “Everyone has fights. Everyone. And I don’t love you any less, Ben.”
Ben swallowed. “You should. You should hate me.”
“Oh?” Poe walked to him and smiled. “A pity that you’re so lovable then.” He kissed Ben, kissed the hollow of his strong neck, his mouth, and more. Kissed his nose, much to Ben’s amusement.
“But I hurt so many people...”
“You’re working on it. You’ve come a long way, Ben.”
“Yes, but — ”
Poe kissed him lightly. It seemed that no matter what happened, when Poe could, he kissed him.
“Come to bed, darling,” he said. “You’re probably worn out."
Ben’s heart couldn’t help but flutter at Poe calling him “darling”. Tomorrow he’d show Poe at length how sorry he was, with breakfast, and if possible, sex. He owed Poe that much, at least.
Summary: An argument, and a resolution.
Prompt: Abandonment Issues
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
He’d be damned if he knew what the argument was about, but seeing the look on Poe’s face, the look of hurt and surprise and anger, he knew he’d gone too far.
Even as Poe left, Ben could have kicked himself. He couldn’t help but remember his parents’ own fights, how vicious they’d get. Now he and Poe...they were like them.
***
Ben couldn’t help but pace the apartment long after Poe stormed out, hating himself. It was just like what he did to Poe so many years ago, leaving him and later torturing him. He was letting pure, unadulterated selfishness get in the way of everything today. He loved Poe. Sometimes he swore he loved him so much he thought it would burn him. Poe was too Light for him, too beautiful, why did he even stay?
It was a good thing Shara was off at school. At least she wouldn’t have to see her Daddy in this predicament. Ben didn’t throw tantrums anymore, but stars, the idea of taking a lightsaber to certain aspects of the apartment — but he couldn’t do that.
It was lunch when Poe returned, and Ben couldn’t face him. In his mind, he thought of his mother abandoning him for the first time on Yavin with his uncle. The thought that he had had too much Vader in him (even his mother’s apology didn’t register right now). The feeling of sheer, unadulterated freakishness that he’d felt hearing his parents arguing about him, his father trying to defend him, his mother afraid.
And there was Poe. Why did Poe stay with this former-murdering-and-torturing, horse-faced, messy fool when he could have —
“Ben?” Poe’s voice was soft. “I know you’re mad.”
And Ben found himself holding Poe close, saying he wasn’t mad, not even a bit, and he supposed, in the end, that was that.
***
Shara was down for the night, no doubt sleeping like a rock while Ben and Poe spoke to one another. “It’s all right, you know,” Poe said. “Everyone has fights. Everyone. And I don’t love you any less, Ben.”
Ben swallowed. “You should. You should hate me.”
“Oh?” Poe walked to him and smiled. “A pity that you’re so lovable then.” He kissed Ben, kissed the hollow of his strong neck, his mouth, and more. Kissed his nose, much to Ben’s amusement.
“But I hurt so many people...”
“You’re working on it. You’ve come a long way, Ben.”
“Yes, but — ”
Poe kissed him lightly. It seemed that no matter what happened, when Poe could, he kissed him.
“Come to bed, darling,” he said. “You’re probably worn out."
Ben’s heart couldn’t help but flutter at Poe calling him “darling”. Tomorrow he’d show Poe at length how sorry he was, with breakfast, and if possible, sex. He owed Poe that much, at least.
