For trope_bingo
Jun. 14th, 2019 02:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: The Long Road Home
Summary: The redemption of Taral Ren, formerly Poe Dameron.
Prompt: Role Reversal
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
He should have had everything he ever wanted, and yet somehow, he feels empty.
Supreme Leader Taral Ren, formerly Poe Dameron, knows that now that the week (stars but what a week) has passed, he’s left alone with his own decisions, and the weight of what he’s done. Hux calls him, and he rises, but he still can’t believe all that’s happened. Including Ben...
Ben. Even though he keeps it bottled up on the way back to his command shuttle, he feels like he’s been stabbed all the while.
***
He doesn’t expect the old informal Master-Padawan bond between him and Ben to flare up again. He’s thought of it as effectively dead since Snoke told him as much. It flares up during his meditation, when he’s trying to draw on old, painful memories in order to use them as a particularly painful form of fuel. He should hurt, he should hate, but instead, he ends up thinking about Ben.
Ben. Ben’s voice, over their Bond. Come home.
Ben knows who he is now. That Taral has no doubt of. Ever since he revealed his face to the Resistance as Supreme Leader, just about everyone knows who he is now. It’s something that, having hidden behind a mask for so long, Taral isn’t used to, but he has no choice but to endure it, truly. To show himself to the galaxy and be not afraid, in his way.
And yet he is afraid. For Ben, his weakness, as he’s always been.
***
“I can’t kill him, Mom.”
Leia is unflinching. Then, “As Leader of the Resistance, you have to do what needs to be done...”
“Tell me something I don’t know!” Ben snaps. “You think it didn’t occur to me that I’d be killing the man I...I...”
He trails off. He can’t say it in front of his mother, stars willing.
“The man you love, Ben?”
His mother sounds like she pities him. Ben doesn’t want any of it.
“Just leave me alone,” he says. “I don’t want your pity.”
He slashes up things in his room later, screaming all the while...and it’s then that he feels a familiar presence. Taral. Poe. There’s still Poe in here, even though he’s done things like invade Crait. There’s a part of him that still believes in goodness and beauty, and Ben knows that part is too precious to kill.
You love me, Ben?
Beyond sanity, Ben thinks, Beyond measure. “Yes.”
***
He loves him. That knowledge is both thrilling and terrifying. Taral knows it’s possibly nothing, just a leftover adolescent crush, and yet something strikes him about the fact that Ben isn’t really that boy anymore, he’s more. He thinks about Ben, how lovely he’s grown up to be.
But there’s a difference between admiring someone and loving them. Isn’t it?
He hated the idea of turning Ben. But that was old friendship, wasn’t it? No more, no less.
He can’t bear to kill him. Again, friendship. Right?
Taral growls in frustration even as he turns over in his bed. Ben is still, in a way, the boy he left behind, just a taller version. He doesn’t doubt Ben’s love for him.
He only fears for him.
Confused feelings. Yes, that could work. Confused feelings could sum it up nicely.
***
A year passes. He and Ben occasionally connect over their link, and Taral can’t help but feel like Ben is just a missing piece of him. He remembers what Snoke taught him about killing the past, and yet, when Ben’s his clarity...how can he?
He’s Taral’s weakness. Poe’s weakness. Even now. Ben, meanwhile, knows his feelings aren’t returned — yet. Taral can feel his frustration, his pain, and he wonders how Ben can still feel that way after all he’s done.
“You could come with me,” Taral says, one night.
Ben looks pained, genuinely so, and for a moment tempted. Then he says, “I saw what the Dark Side did to you. I can’t do it.”
“You mean what Luke did. He tried to kill me, Ben.”
Ben actually looks caught off-guard; he clearly hasn’t expected this.
“My uncle?” he said. “Why...?”
“Because he thought I was evil.”
“You’re not evil,” Ben says, and something in Taral does a not-unpleasant flip. “Don’t ever say that about yourself again.”
“Why do you have such faith in me?” Taral says.
“I love you. I never stopped. And I know the Light in you is too bright to be extinguished.”
***
He can’t kill him. Taral doesn’t know if he can come home, but he knows he’d tear the galaxy in two if it meant Ben was safe. Happy. Ben is too rare, too precious, to be lost so easily. Taral loves him. Even with all his faults. Too rare and precious...
He squeezes his eyes shut. He’s glad Hux isn’t there to see this, stars willing. He doubts he’ll be able to live this down. Not once, not ever.
But he loves Ben Solo more than anyone else could.
***
“What’s wrong, Poe?”
Ben’s voice, quietly imploring him to not cry.
“I’ve fallen in love with you,” Taral says, quietly. “And I may have to kill you. We’ll face each other in battle, and one of us will die.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” Ben says. “You could come home.”
“I’ve gone too far.”
“No, Poe,” Ben says. “My grandfather was redeemed despite what he did. Why not you? I love you. I know that you’re bright and brilliant and wonderful, and Snoke wasn’t able to extinguish that.”
“Ben.” Poe’s voice cracks. “I nearly broke you...”
“I’m here. I’m okay. Maybe you don’t have to go back to the Resistance. You can just...go off with me and we can be smugglers. Or something.”
Taral smiles faintly. “So there is a place in your future for me.”
“Always.”
***
They see each other again in a clear, sunny forest on Takodana. Poe continues through the trees, suddenly nervous. It could be a trap. He’s left Anora Ren, or Jessika Pava, in charge of the Knights of Ren. He can only hope that she can make some good out of what rose from so much evil.
But still...if Ben was lying, that would break his heart all over again.
Footsteps. Ben emerges. The words escape his mouth. “Is that really you, Poe?”
“I came home,” Poe says. “I’m sorry, Ben. I never should have left you. I’m sorry.”
He embraces Ben. He supposes that he could get used to embracing Ben like this for the rest of his life. There will be much to do, of course. Like introducing the other Knights to the Resistance, getting them acclimated.
But the fact it’s begun at all...that’s wonderful.
Summary: The redemption of Taral Ren, formerly Poe Dameron.
Prompt: Role Reversal
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
He should have had everything he ever wanted, and yet somehow, he feels empty.
Supreme Leader Taral Ren, formerly Poe Dameron, knows that now that the week (stars but what a week) has passed, he’s left alone with his own decisions, and the weight of what he’s done. Hux calls him, and he rises, but he still can’t believe all that’s happened. Including Ben...
Ben. Even though he keeps it bottled up on the way back to his command shuttle, he feels like he’s been stabbed all the while.
***
He doesn’t expect the old informal Master-Padawan bond between him and Ben to flare up again. He’s thought of it as effectively dead since Snoke told him as much. It flares up during his meditation, when he’s trying to draw on old, painful memories in order to use them as a particularly painful form of fuel. He should hurt, he should hate, but instead, he ends up thinking about Ben.
Ben. Ben’s voice, over their Bond. Come home.
Ben knows who he is now. That Taral has no doubt of. Ever since he revealed his face to the Resistance as Supreme Leader, just about everyone knows who he is now. It’s something that, having hidden behind a mask for so long, Taral isn’t used to, but he has no choice but to endure it, truly. To show himself to the galaxy and be not afraid, in his way.
And yet he is afraid. For Ben, his weakness, as he’s always been.
***
“I can’t kill him, Mom.”
Leia is unflinching. Then, “As Leader of the Resistance, you have to do what needs to be done...”
“Tell me something I don’t know!” Ben snaps. “You think it didn’t occur to me that I’d be killing the man I...I...”
He trails off. He can’t say it in front of his mother, stars willing.
“The man you love, Ben?”
His mother sounds like she pities him. Ben doesn’t want any of it.
“Just leave me alone,” he says. “I don’t want your pity.”
He slashes up things in his room later, screaming all the while...and it’s then that he feels a familiar presence. Taral. Poe. There’s still Poe in here, even though he’s done things like invade Crait. There’s a part of him that still believes in goodness and beauty, and Ben knows that part is too precious to kill.
You love me, Ben?
Beyond sanity, Ben thinks, Beyond measure. “Yes.”
***
He loves him. That knowledge is both thrilling and terrifying. Taral knows it’s possibly nothing, just a leftover adolescent crush, and yet something strikes him about the fact that Ben isn’t really that boy anymore, he’s more. He thinks about Ben, how lovely he’s grown up to be.
But there’s a difference between admiring someone and loving them. Isn’t it?
He hated the idea of turning Ben. But that was old friendship, wasn’t it? No more, no less.
He can’t bear to kill him. Again, friendship. Right?
Taral growls in frustration even as he turns over in his bed. Ben is still, in a way, the boy he left behind, just a taller version. He doesn’t doubt Ben’s love for him.
He only fears for him.
Confused feelings. Yes, that could work. Confused feelings could sum it up nicely.
***
A year passes. He and Ben occasionally connect over their link, and Taral can’t help but feel like Ben is just a missing piece of him. He remembers what Snoke taught him about killing the past, and yet, when Ben’s his clarity...how can he?
He’s Taral’s weakness. Poe’s weakness. Even now. Ben, meanwhile, knows his feelings aren’t returned — yet. Taral can feel his frustration, his pain, and he wonders how Ben can still feel that way after all he’s done.
“You could come with me,” Taral says, one night.
Ben looks pained, genuinely so, and for a moment tempted. Then he says, “I saw what the Dark Side did to you. I can’t do it.”
“You mean what Luke did. He tried to kill me, Ben.”
Ben actually looks caught off-guard; he clearly hasn’t expected this.
“My uncle?” he said. “Why...?”
“Because he thought I was evil.”
“You’re not evil,” Ben says, and something in Taral does a not-unpleasant flip. “Don’t ever say that about yourself again.”
“Why do you have such faith in me?” Taral says.
“I love you. I never stopped. And I know the Light in you is too bright to be extinguished.”
***
He can’t kill him. Taral doesn’t know if he can come home, but he knows he’d tear the galaxy in two if it meant Ben was safe. Happy. Ben is too rare, too precious, to be lost so easily. Taral loves him. Even with all his faults. Too rare and precious...
He squeezes his eyes shut. He’s glad Hux isn’t there to see this, stars willing. He doubts he’ll be able to live this down. Not once, not ever.
But he loves Ben Solo more than anyone else could.
***
“What’s wrong, Poe?”
Ben’s voice, quietly imploring him to not cry.
“I’ve fallen in love with you,” Taral says, quietly. “And I may have to kill you. We’ll face each other in battle, and one of us will die.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” Ben says. “You could come home.”
“I’ve gone too far.”
“No, Poe,” Ben says. “My grandfather was redeemed despite what he did. Why not you? I love you. I know that you’re bright and brilliant and wonderful, and Snoke wasn’t able to extinguish that.”
“Ben.” Poe’s voice cracks. “I nearly broke you...”
“I’m here. I’m okay. Maybe you don’t have to go back to the Resistance. You can just...go off with me and we can be smugglers. Or something.”
Taral smiles faintly. “So there is a place in your future for me.”
“Always.”
***
They see each other again in a clear, sunny forest on Takodana. Poe continues through the trees, suddenly nervous. It could be a trap. He’s left Anora Ren, or Jessika Pava, in charge of the Knights of Ren. He can only hope that she can make some good out of what rose from so much evil.
But still...if Ben was lying, that would break his heart all over again.
Footsteps. Ben emerges. The words escape his mouth. “Is that really you, Poe?”
“I came home,” Poe says. “I’m sorry, Ben. I never should have left you. I’m sorry.”
He embraces Ben. He supposes that he could get used to embracing Ben like this for the rest of his life. There will be much to do, of course. Like introducing the other Knights to the Resistance, getting them acclimated.
But the fact it’s begun at all...that’s wonderful.
