For genprompt_bingo.

[ladyofleithian]

Title: Memories

Summary: Rey wants to know more about Poe's past.

Prompt: Secrets and Lies

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Notes: Yes, "little hero" is a Stephen King reference. Couldn't resist.



It was after her talk with Luke -- which was unsatisfying still -- that Rey contacted Poe. It took a while to set up the hologram technology (and a special channel to make sure the First Order didn't find out where Rey was broadcasting. Just because they were no longer searching for the map didn't mean they were going to stop in searching for Luke), but seeing her new friend's face was definitely worth it. She smiled at Poe just then. "Hey, Poe."

Poe smiled, and yet there was something about his light that seemed to have gone out. "Hey. What's up?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Shoot."

"You were in a picture with...Kylo Ren when he was younger." Rey still couldn't bring herself to say "Ben Solo".

"Ben, you mean?"

"Yes."

Poe went quiet. He looked very alone in that moment, and very sad -- not like Poe at all. "I already told Finn," he said. "I might as well tell you. We were friends when we were children. Our parents were close friends -- war buddies, actually. That's how Ben and I met. And we hit it off. We used to play games together -- some of which he played with you."

In her mind, Rey heard a voice -- her voice, as a little girl's. "Ben, look! I'm flying!"

Ben's laugh, vibrant. "That you are, little hero."

Rey closed her eyes, and turned away. It was Poe's voice that guided her back to the present. "Rey?"

"I'm fine," she said. She opened her eyes. "I'm just...remembering."

"Remembering hurts. I don't blame you."

"So what happened?" Rey said.

Heat seemed to spread up Poe's neck and cheeks, making the scars he'd acquired from interrogation stand out all the more. "All right, maybe that makes me a traitor. If Admiral Hordo heard this, she'd just use it as more ammo to call me untrustworthy. Maybe even disgusting. Loving a man like that."

"You loved him?"

"Yeah. I was completely, utterly in love with him when we were both adults. He was witty and he was kind and he was brave..."

Rey couldn't imagine Kylo Ren actually having any of those qualities. Even listening to Poe describe him in such a way was so strange, as if he were describing someone else.

"And beautiful. I knew one pilot in my squadron who thought he was ugly, but to me, he was the most beautiful man I'd ever met. The night he reciprocated...it was one of the few good things about that night, and from there, we would find ways to meet. It was like having your own little world. Later on, we actually married."

"How?" Rey said. "How did the man you described become such a...monster?"

"I don't know. I don't know what Snoke told him to convince him, but...I hate Snoke for it and always will." Poe's voice cracked. "Rey, I just loved Ben so much. Knowing he was the one who tortured me...I don't know whether I want him rotting in a prison cell or -- or..." He sighed. "I'm not making sense, am I?"

"You are," Rey said. "I'm so sorry for you."

"Thank you, Rey." Poe took a deep breath. "You know, you and Finn...I haven't really told you both this, but you're two of the best people I've ever met. You've really, truly made me better."

"And you're a good man too." It was enough to make Rey wish that she could do something more to comfort Poe. Reach through the holoscreen. "It wasn't your fault that the man you loved turned into a monster. It was his choice."

"I suppose." Poe ran a hand through his hair. "Thing is, Rey, when he loved you, you were just surrounded by it. Surrounded by warmth. He definitely never got violent before this. He didn't hit me, but he infiltrated my mind -- "

"I know," Rey said. "He did that to me too." She smiled. "Though I got him in the end."

"You did the right thing. You had every right to defend yourself." Poe ran a hand through his hair again. "You are strong, Rey. I doubt I could have been as strong at your age."

"You kind of have to be out there," Rey said.

"I can see that," Poe said.

There was silence.

"How is Finn?" Rey said.

"Better. Though he'll always have that scar on his back." Poe sighed. "He's strong. Incredibly strong. I still can't believe how strong he is..."

Poe went on, talking more about Finn and Bespin, and Rey listened. When all this was over, she would see Finn again. Perhaps tell him the truth about how she felt. These strange, tentative, fluttery feelings she hadn't thought she could actually feel. Jakku wasn't a place for romantic fancies and yet Rey was captivated.

When all this was over, they would be a team again. And that...that was the truth.