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ladyofleithian6. Talk about a recent experience that has effected you greatly and how.
Well, in terms of recent experiences that effected me greatly, this is going to sound a bit silly no doubt, but some of the stuff that happened in a fandom that I loved very dearly that seems to just be an ongoing sort of thing. I guess it doesn't help that I love these people (I still do, in a way. Even after all that happened. And I just wish I could find a way to reconcile with them at least somehow) and yet I just really hate what's happened to them at parts. Sort of like the moment something goes wrong, things start falling apart. It doesn't help, I think, that the things that have happened have been pretty bad -- misunderstandings, just to name a few. I'm not going to name any names, but let's say that things definitely got bad. There are still some good people in the fandom, such as on Tumblr, and for that I'm grateful, but I still can't help but be disappointed, to be perfectly honest. I just kind of hate it because when I first got into the fandom, it felt like no matter what terrible things happened, we were together. We were having fun, we were happy, we were buddies. And now it doesn't really feel like that. It kind of feels like it's splintered at times. It doesn't help that I've been so worried about it, so goddamn worried, that I haven't been able at times to concentrate at school, my moods have started getting really bad, I've been questioning myself, etc. Heck, I was originally going to talk about the Nostalgia Critic's review of The Christmas Tree just because of the heartwarming ending and everything else, but I think my brain decided to sabotage itself a bit because the whole thing with the fandom...well, it broke my heart. (It's pretty fucked up that the things that break my heart seem to stay longer. Good things don't last forever, bad things leave their fingerprints) It didn't help that the voice in the back of my head basically started calling me crazy and whatnot, which...*Sighs* I just hate living with that sort of voice. I've been trying to fight it the best I can, but it's not always easy, to say the least.
I guess it just fucked me up because when I entered the fandom, I sort of felt like I could belong somewhere, have a sense of community, and even when I didn't really go there very much in 2012, I still really loved that sense of community and all that. And then come 2013...well, it just kind of felt like it wasn't the way it was before. I felt, almost, like I couldn't stay with everything that was happening. I kept arguing with myself about whether or not I should leave, or if I was just being stupid, and I decided to leave for good just because it was sort of fucking with my psychological health. And it still really does break my heart thinking about it. It wasn't just a fandom for me, in a way. It was...well, it was important to me. And that hurt more than anything. And with everything else I was just hearing about, it just continued to pile on. It let up near the end -- as it always does, I think -- but still, it hurt.
Still, I guess, in a way...I guess in a way, I've found out who my real friends are. Because even throughout this year where I've just felt helpless in the face of recent events, personal and global, I've definitely had people who cared for me. People I can rely on when things are really bad. And I suppose I should really focus on them, and not the people who drag me down. It's going to be hard, but at the very least...at the very least I can try.
7. Think of the last person you hugged. What would you do if they vanished completely?
8. Write about the first moment that comes to your head when you read the words “childhood memory”
9. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
10. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Where do you think that defining line was?
11. Do you feel protective over someone?
12. If you could trade places with anyone for one week, who would it be and why?
13. Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?
14. When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?
15. What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.
16. What are you passionate about?
17. Who was the last person you kissed? (If you are still with them now, pick the person before them.) What would they say if they saw you now?
18. Talk about your extended family. Why do you think they are the way they are?
19. If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?
20. Again, pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.
21. Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?
22. How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.
23. Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years.
24. Are you more social or independent? Why do you think that is?
25. What do you think it means to be a good parent?
26. Talk about a moment where you were truly happy. What was happening? Who were you with?
27. Is there a friend you are worried about? Why do they have you concerned? Do you think they’ll be okay?
28. Would you rather someone tell you the truth up front but gently, or be lied to to spare your feelings?
29. If you could be doing the same things you do now, only in your own way, how would a normal day in your life go?
30. Look back on this last month and talk about it.
Well, in terms of recent experiences that effected me greatly, this is going to sound a bit silly no doubt, but some of the stuff that happened in a fandom that I loved very dearly that seems to just be an ongoing sort of thing. I guess it doesn't help that I love these people (I still do, in a way. Even after all that happened. And I just wish I could find a way to reconcile with them at least somehow) and yet I just really hate what's happened to them at parts. Sort of like the moment something goes wrong, things start falling apart. It doesn't help, I think, that the things that have happened have been pretty bad -- misunderstandings, just to name a few. I'm not going to name any names, but let's say that things definitely got bad. There are still some good people in the fandom, such as on Tumblr, and for that I'm grateful, but I still can't help but be disappointed, to be perfectly honest. I just kind of hate it because when I first got into the fandom, it felt like no matter what terrible things happened, we were together. We were having fun, we were happy, we were buddies. And now it doesn't really feel like that. It kind of feels like it's splintered at times. It doesn't help that I've been so worried about it, so goddamn worried, that I haven't been able at times to concentrate at school, my moods have started getting really bad, I've been questioning myself, etc. Heck, I was originally going to talk about the Nostalgia Critic's review of The Christmas Tree just because of the heartwarming ending and everything else, but I think my brain decided to sabotage itself a bit because the whole thing with the fandom...well, it broke my heart. (It's pretty fucked up that the things that break my heart seem to stay longer. Good things don't last forever, bad things leave their fingerprints) It didn't help that the voice in the back of my head basically started calling me crazy and whatnot, which...*Sighs* I just hate living with that sort of voice. I've been trying to fight it the best I can, but it's not always easy, to say the least.
I guess it just fucked me up because when I entered the fandom, I sort of felt like I could belong somewhere, have a sense of community, and even when I didn't really go there very much in 2012, I still really loved that sense of community and all that. And then come 2013...well, it just kind of felt like it wasn't the way it was before. I felt, almost, like I couldn't stay with everything that was happening. I kept arguing with myself about whether or not I should leave, or if I was just being stupid, and I decided to leave for good just because it was sort of fucking with my psychological health. And it still really does break my heart thinking about it. It wasn't just a fandom for me, in a way. It was...well, it was important to me. And that hurt more than anything. And with everything else I was just hearing about, it just continued to pile on. It let up near the end -- as it always does, I think -- but still, it hurt.
Still, I guess, in a way...I guess in a way, I've found out who my real friends are. Because even throughout this year where I've just felt helpless in the face of recent events, personal and global, I've definitely had people who cared for me. People I can rely on when things are really bad. And I suppose I should really focus on them, and not the people who drag me down. It's going to be hard, but at the very least...at the very least I can try.
7. Think of the last person you hugged. What would you do if they vanished completely?
8. Write about the first moment that comes to your head when you read the words “childhood memory”
9. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
10. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Where do you think that defining line was?
11. Do you feel protective over someone?
12. If you could trade places with anyone for one week, who would it be and why?
13. Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?
14. When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?
15. What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.
16. What are you passionate about?
17. Who was the last person you kissed? (If you are still with them now, pick the person before them.) What would they say if they saw you now?
18. Talk about your extended family. Why do you think they are the way they are?
19. If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?
20. Again, pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.
21. Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?
22. How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.
23. Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years.
24. Are you more social or independent? Why do you think that is?
25. What do you think it means to be a good parent?
26. Talk about a moment where you were truly happy. What was happening? Who were you with?
27. Is there a friend you are worried about? Why do they have you concerned? Do you think they’ll be okay?
28. Would you rather someone tell you the truth up front but gently, or be lied to to spare your feelings?
29. If you could be doing the same things you do now, only in your own way, how would a normal day in your life go?
30. Look back on this last month and talk about it.
