ladyofleithian | For Hurt_Comfort Bingo (Reply)

Because, first off, productivity's better than angsting, and second off, I really need to get the fuck around to Hurt_Comfort Bingo. *Sighs* Oh boy...here goes nothing.

Title: She Believes

Prompt: Fever/Delirium

Summary: Vestara watches over Anakin post-Bespin.

Warnings: For quasi-incest (unknowing, but still quasi-incest), angst, and my possibly rusty writing skills.

It's after two weeks that Anakin finally wakes up from the fever. Even now, seeing his face, you can't help but wish that it was different -- you shouldn't have had to meet up with him. Not like this.

You still remember those nights of staying by his side, quietly reassuring him, bathing his forehead with a cold cloth -- tomorrow, the surgery for his hand will begin.

Somehow, though, you don't like the idea. If anything, it shouldn't have ended this way -- but even now, thinking about Yavin, you doubt that Vader would have wanted to forget his less-than-dignified defeat at Yavin. Emperor Vader's never taken well to defeat, and Yavin was no exception.

Anakin tries to keep his aura of good humor around him, despite everything else -- you still remember those nights, his cries of Father

whatever Vader did to him at Bespin, you don't want to know what it was

and Force, those screams -- Even then, you don't want to think about it. And yet...

"So," he says. "What did I miss?"

"Well -- "

"I mean, I know about Bespin," he says. "Where am I?"

"You're on the medical frigate Leia Organa."

"Interesting name for a ship."

"It was after the old queen of Alderaan. Probably one of many founders of the Rebellion, I've heard." A pause. "I can't say they spoke highly of her back in the Empire."

"I can imagine that," Anakin says, a tinge of bitterness in his voice. As if sensing your concern, he changes the subject. "So...how is everyone?" It's a weak subject change, but it will have to do.

"We were all pretty worried," you say. "I know Padme hardly left your side."

And even then, you can't help but feel the tiniest pin pricks of envy. Somehow, you wonder if, sometime in the future, you and Anakin may end up together. If he may ever look into your eyes and realize that you've been there for him the whole time -- you hold no grudge against Padme. If anything, she's a lovely girl -- in the rare times you've been able to talk to her. She's a lonely soul -- a sad soul, broken by what Vader's done to her, broken by what Vader's done to her homeplanet. Even thinking about Naboo, millions of innocents gone in a flash --

It was hearing about Naboo that you decided to run away. Though you're practically a wanted woman now, it's preferable to working for a broken Emperor and Empress willing to sacrifice innocent, nonviolent civilians in order for some sort of power game -- some sort of sick satisfaction. You've killed people, yes -- and now that you've run away from the Empire and taken on the alias of The Hand of Judgment, you've had to kill more people, but at least you have the decency to feel bad about it. Even hearing Vader speak on the Holonet about how he'll send those "unholy creatures that call themselves the Rebellion" back to where they may belong

what is he even talking about, you wonder. and somehow, you doubt you'll ever know

still scares you. And yet you continue to fight -- you've been so used to surviving on your own that you've never really considered how beautiful friendship truly is. Ahsoka. Padme. Anakin. So many others. It took a while for them to warm up to you and you to them and yet it's beautiful. Wonderful, even. No matter what happens, you, all of you, are the team, and always will be. "Padme? Where is she?"

"Over here," You gesture to where Padme's sleeping soundly in the bed beside Anakin. "How are you feeling?"

"A little sore."

"I can imagine. You terrified us, Anakin."

"I couldn't just leave you to his mercy. You were...they were suffering, Vestara. They were in pain."

Silence.

"We were. We all were. Vader knew..." You barely cut yourself off from what you were about to say.

"Vader knew I'd take the bait," Anakin sighs, punches his pillow into a more comfortable shape. "I...I don't know what to say to that."

"You have a good heart, Anakin. I'll admit that. But...at the very least, don't try and risk your life for us again."

"That's a promise I can't keep."

You laugh despite yourself -- despite the situation. "Always the hero, aren't you?"

Anakin chuckles, and somehow, the situation in the room seems to brighten.

"You should get some rest," you say. "I think it'll do you good."

"Maybe."

Silence.

"Vestara," he says, suddenly sounding childlike and fearful, "Will you be there when I wake?"

Even now, the need to know what Vader did starts eating at you. Too much, even.

"I'll be there," you say. "Always." You smile. "Get some rest, Annie."

And even now, watching over him and Padme both, despite everything that's happened -- somehow, impossibly so, you feel safe.