For trope_bingo

[ladyofleithian]

Title: Taunt

Summary: Ben comes back from Elphrona. Poe is ready to comfort him.

Prompt: Hurt/Comfort

Disclaimer: I own nothing.



Poe actually saw Ben off even as Ben left for Elphrona. Lor and Uncle Luke were all too willing to power up the ship, Lor sending Ben a knowing smile. Somehow, the idea that Lor approved of their relationship (Ben could pick up some of his thoughts, the idea that Poe was an honorable man, and even honorable didn’t sum up Ben’s feelings, all but painted with love for Poe) was too wonderful. He wished that he could tell his uncle, though. Ben didn’t know everything about how his uncle felt yet.

Poe smiled. “So,” he said, “I’d prefer to have those Jedi robes back in one piece, you understand that?”

Ben chuckled. “Yes, sir,” he said. (Sir. Experimenting with roleplaying later wouldn’t be a bad idea)

Poe laughed. It was affectionate, happy. Then, “Don’t forget your combat techniques. Your Force techniques. Watch out for booby traps. All that.”

“I’ve gone on missions with Uncle Luke before.”

“Of course. I just worry about you.”

Poe’s hug was tight, protective, and Ben could appreciate for a moment being safe, protected, even by someone he thought he had to protect with his life.

They couldn’t kiss. Not with Luke and Lor watching. But sometimes, the matter of touch could say more volumes than one thought it would.

***

It was getting back from Elphrona that it seemed that Ben was already unsettled by his experience. He wished he wasn’t, truthfully; after all, Uncle Luke had beaten the Knights back. But it was like Ren — the one who called himself and his Knights legendary — had had to get that last swipe in at Luke and the others. And Ben could still remember what he said on Elphrona.

“Hey, kid, are you sure this is the life for you?”

And Ben could still hear it ringing in his head, see Ren’s face in his mind, all but feel his uncle’s distrust of him, his unease. It was unfair, Ben thought; Uncle Luke was really going to believe a complete stranger over his own nephew?

Of course he would, the Voice said. You think that he’s anything but a hypocrite to the core?

Ben shook his head. He’s not a hypocrite.

Oh, child, but he is. He would be all too willing to go back for his father, but not you...

It was stopping on Adani that Luke said, “Ben...what was Ren talking about when he said you had the Dark Side in you?”

“He was probably just being cruel,” Ben said.

“Ben, don’t lie to me. You’ve been hiding things from me — or trying to hide things from me.”

Ben went rigid. How much did Luke really know?

Luke continued. "You think I haven’t sensed it?”

“Oh, good,” Ben said sarcastically. “That’s how it always is, isn’t it, Uncle? Blame Ben. Blame Ben for everything. Assume he has darkness in him just because he isn’t perfect like you want him to be.”

“He’s after you!”

“Name a Jedi this hasn’t happened to,” Ben snapped. “You’re stretching. You’re getting paranoid. You’re acting like if I so much as sneeze wrong, I’m going to be running around with a red lightsaber.”

“You think I haven’t sensed it during your training?”

“I didn’t ask for Mom and Dad to abandon me!”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Ben regretted them. Luke took him in, and it was a strange mixture that Ben sensed — a mixture of pity and fear.

“I need a break,” Ben said, and headed towards his hut, walking in a rush all the while. It was something that he hated, snapping at his uncle like that, especially saying something so unfair about his parents, but it felt, sometimes, like pleasing them was nigh impossible. Ren had just given Luke another reason, and Ben hated it.

Ben sat down a little too forcefully on the bed before calling Poe over the comm.

***

“You look like a gizka in a minefield,” Poe said even as they sat in the hut. “Everything okay?”

“Wish it was,” Ben said. “It was Elphrona. I...” And he told Poe. He didn’t know if he could tell Tai (yet), but he could at least talk to Poe. Poe, who meant just about everything to him.

“Ben,” Poe said, gently, “You’re not Dark. You’re not a bad person...and I’m so angry that your uncle even thought of saying that to you.”

“I’ve — ”

“Having flare-ups doesn’t make you the next Palpatine. You’re a good person, who’s...currently going through stuff that non-Force Sensitives wouldn’t.”

Ben smiled feebly. “What I wouldn’t give to be you.”

“Ben, darling,” Poe said, “I’m not all Light. I’m not perfect. Even if I keep trying. Struggling to do the right thing is pretty much...well, I don’t know the right word for it, but non-Force Sensitives have it too, just in different forms.”

That Ben could at least imagine. The better parts of your nature, struggling against your demons or being consumed by them. He wished that making the right decision was easy.

“I guess.”

There was something about Poe where even though the feeling gnawed at him like mynocks on power cables, what Poe was saying made absolute sense. What Poe was saying made him feel better, like he wasn’t alone.

And he wanted to repay that. Thank Poe.

“Poe,” he said, “You’re more Light than you think.” He wished there was more that he could say, he wished that he could express the fact that watching Poe was like watching a sunrise or a meteor shower. Something beautiful, something that simply brought light into Ben’s life just by being there.

“I hope so.” Poe said.

“I know it. You’re what you should be.”

Poe smiled faintly. “So are you, Ben. I think your uncle, in time, will realize it.”

Ben could, for a moment, in a hut that seemed like it was a sanctuary from the rest of Adani, actually believe it.