For trope_bingo
May. 2nd, 2020 02:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: The Nature of Anger
Summary: You can still be angry at those you love.
Prompt: Free Space — Hurt/Comfort
Ben had come back. Months after Exegol (Rey had found out he was her cousin, which had killed any sort of romantic interest in him. She was with Finn anyway), Rey had found him, exhausted but very much alive — and even as Poe approached the medbay where he was being treated before he inevitably had to stand trial and face his sentence...
What was he going to say? That was the question, Poe thought even as he entered the room where Ben was, clearly exhausted from what had happened. Poe supposed that he couldn’t really blame him. Not after what had happened. What was he going to tell Ben, after a year of being separated from each other?
He should be angry. He was, when Kylo Ren had broken open his mind and stolen everything. He should be angry, wanting revenge. He should want Ben to suffer. But it was somehow more complicated when it was Ben. When it was someone that he’d once loved. Someone who would have done just about everything to protect him.
“Hey,” Ben said softly. He seemed to be picking at the plate of food that the medics had put out for him. Somehow, it didn’t feel right. Ben should be snarky. Maybe sneering, or dropping that cliché phrase of “Come to gloat” or something like that.
“Ben,” Poe said. “You’re...you’re here.”
“I came back.” Ben looked up at Poe, and Poe could see how hollow his eyes were. “Stars, Poe, what I did to you. I didn’t want to do it — I was so weak, and I failed...”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know,” Ben said. “The — the Finalizer.” A beat. “How you’re not broken — I just don’t know...”
“It’ll take more than that.”
“I didn’t want to.” Ben sighed as he spoke. “Snoke...” And he talked. Talked about how Snoke had set up everything, how he had made Ben torture Poe as some sort of test. “Weak,” Ben muttered. “I was weak. You deserved better than someone like me...”
“I don’t hate you,” Poe said. “I can’t hate you. I...wanted to hate you. But I can’t.”
Hesitantly, he brushed hair out of Ben’s eyes. Jet black hair.
“I was angry,” Poe said, “For the longest time. At you. At myself...for being weak.”
“You weren’t,” Ben said. “You stuck to your beliefs to the end. You defied me, you were willing to stand up to me. You spoke up for the villagers...on Tuanul.” Ben seemed to have been grasping the horror of what he did there too. “I always...admired you. For being brave and strong.” A beat. “I...”
He trailed off. It was almost like he was trying to put into words how he felt.
“Can I...touch you?” Ben said softly.
Poe nodded. Held out his hand. Ben traced letters, almost calligraphy letters, into Poe’s hand. Over and over. Three words, words that Poe was able to decipher from the movements of Ben’s finger like it was his writing instrument. He’d written words before — names of people and places he knew. Silly messages, like code that deciphered to something as mundane as “Dad’s racing team rules”. Now, he was tracing a different message there.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Poe’s breathing hitched. Those words — they could hurt and heal all at once. He stopped Ben’s hand for a moment. “It’s okay,” he said to Ben. “I love you too, Ben. I love you so much."
“Even after all I did to you.”
“We can still be angry,” Poe said, “At people we love.”
He kissed Ben’s hand lightly, and tucked it back in to Ben’s chest.
“Thank the Force,” Ben murmured, “For the gifts it’s given me. Including you.”
Poe smiled. Even despite himself, he could feel the broken pieces of his heart starting to mend. To glue themselves back together.
Summary: You can still be angry at those you love.
Prompt: Free Space — Hurt/Comfort
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Ben had come back. Months after Exegol (Rey had found out he was her cousin, which had killed any sort of romantic interest in him. She was with Finn anyway), Rey had found him, exhausted but very much alive — and even as Poe approached the medbay where he was being treated before he inevitably had to stand trial and face his sentence...
What was he going to say? That was the question, Poe thought even as he entered the room where Ben was, clearly exhausted from what had happened. Poe supposed that he couldn’t really blame him. Not after what had happened. What was he going to tell Ben, after a year of being separated from each other?
He should be angry. He was, when Kylo Ren had broken open his mind and stolen everything. He should be angry, wanting revenge. He should want Ben to suffer. But it was somehow more complicated when it was Ben. When it was someone that he’d once loved. Someone who would have done just about everything to protect him.
“Hey,” Ben said softly. He seemed to be picking at the plate of food that the medics had put out for him. Somehow, it didn’t feel right. Ben should be snarky. Maybe sneering, or dropping that cliché phrase of “Come to gloat” or something like that.
“Ben,” Poe said. “You’re...you’re here.”
“I came back.” Ben looked up at Poe, and Poe could see how hollow his eyes were. “Stars, Poe, what I did to you. I didn’t want to do it — I was so weak, and I failed...”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know,” Ben said. “The — the Finalizer.” A beat. “How you’re not broken — I just don’t know...”
“It’ll take more than that.”
“I didn’t want to.” Ben sighed as he spoke. “Snoke...” And he talked. Talked about how Snoke had set up everything, how he had made Ben torture Poe as some sort of test. “Weak,” Ben muttered. “I was weak. You deserved better than someone like me...”
“I don’t hate you,” Poe said. “I can’t hate you. I...wanted to hate you. But I can’t.”
Hesitantly, he brushed hair out of Ben’s eyes. Jet black hair.
“I was angry,” Poe said, “For the longest time. At you. At myself...for being weak.”
“You weren’t,” Ben said. “You stuck to your beliefs to the end. You defied me, you were willing to stand up to me. You spoke up for the villagers...on Tuanul.” Ben seemed to have been grasping the horror of what he did there too. “I always...admired you. For being brave and strong.” A beat. “I...”
He trailed off. It was almost like he was trying to put into words how he felt.
“Can I...touch you?” Ben said softly.
Poe nodded. Held out his hand. Ben traced letters, almost calligraphy letters, into Poe’s hand. Over and over. Three words, words that Poe was able to decipher from the movements of Ben’s finger like it was his writing instrument. He’d written words before — names of people and places he knew. Silly messages, like code that deciphered to something as mundane as “Dad’s racing team rules”. Now, he was tracing a different message there.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Poe’s breathing hitched. Those words — they could hurt and heal all at once. He stopped Ben’s hand for a moment. “It’s okay,” he said to Ben. “I love you too, Ben. I love you so much."
“Even after all I did to you.”
“We can still be angry,” Poe said, “At people we love.”
He kissed Ben’s hand lightly, and tucked it back in to Ben’s chest.
“Thank the Force,” Ben murmured, “For the gifts it’s given me. Including you.”
Poe smiled. Even despite himself, he could feel the broken pieces of his heart starting to mend. To glue themselves back together.
