For trope_bingo
Jul. 6th, 2019 09:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Heard
Summary: It started off as a trust exercise.
Prompt: Telepathy/Mind Meld
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
“You want me to do what?” Ben stared at Poe, feeling like Poe had stabbed him. He couldn’t read Poe’s mind again, he just couldn’t.
“Read my mind. It’s the least I can do to stop jumping at shadows all the time.”
Ben’s face fell. Even those healing scars near his temple and lower lip respectively were a reminder of what exactly he had done as Kylo Ren. How deeply he had hurt another sentient being. He didn’t feel any sort of hatred from Poe, but Poe had every right to. Force willing he hated himself. Knew Poe deserved someone else. Even if those someone elses were already taken.
“I hated doing it,” he said. “But I guess that doesn’t make any difference. I’m sorry.”
“I know.” Poe’s voice was subdued, soft.
“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. We can just do something else.”
“I want to be able to trust you again. To know that you’re not intent on...doing that.”
Ben swallowed. “You know it could go wrong.”
“I know.” Poe took a deep breath. “I can accept that.”
Ben knew how to do it. Extending a hand, but more than that, extending a tendril of his mind into Poe’s. He swore he felt Poe flinch, and he withdrew immediately.
— pushing past defenses, past memories and sensations, his discomfort with Poe’s hisses of pain being overridden by a desire to get revenge on Skywalker. The image in his mind of strangling Skywalker, watching his worthless face turn blue with lack of oxygen, was all but intoxicating —
He couldn’t do that again. Skywalker was dead, but he was good as invading Poe’s mind. Hurting him. Poe looked at him. “It’s okay.”
“I was hurting you.”
“Ben.” Poe stepped forward. “It was strange, but you felt different. Before, you were angry. Conflicted, yet angry. Now...”
“It doesn’t make any difference.” And stars, Poe deserved better —
“I’m just saying what I saw.”
Ben took a deep breath. “We’re only trying again if you want to.”
Poe nodded. “It’s okay. Maybe...if you go too far, I’ll say ‘Finalizer’.” A beat. “I mean, it’s not like...that, but...”
“I understand.” Finalizer. That was the closest thing they could do to remind Ben to stop.
He’d done enough damage. He wasn’t about to hurt Poe again.
He reached out. Tentative. Can you hear me? Can I come in?
Poe, slowly, nodded.
Slowly, Ben made his way into his thoughts. He didn’t force in. He kept looking at Poe, asking questions, wondering if this was right. If this was all right. And he could feel something. A mind that was still patching itself together, but shone as brightly as a sun.
“You’re beautiful,” Ben murmured. “Even your mind is beautiful. So pure.”
“You don’t know what I did, Ben.” Poe laughed, bitterly. “I haven’t been pure in a long time.”
Poe was still a better man than him. Poe had killed, yes, and had played an indirect role in deaths like Paige Tico’s. But he hadn’t massacred. He hadn’t become a dictator. Not that that was a high bar, but why was he trying to reconnect with this broken soul?
“You want to know why?” Poe said. “Let me show you.”
It was too much. Too much light. Too much feeling. Too much...love? Did Poe —
“How could you not have known?” Poe said.
Ben withdrew from Poe’s mind abruptly. Poe didn’t have to say their code word. He’d seen plenty. He wasn’t lovable. His uncle and mother and Snoke had driven that into his mind how many times? And yet...
And yet he was selfish enough to want this.
“You deserve better.” he said. “So much better.”
“And yet I want you. Maybe you are ‘better’.” Poe paused. “Do you love me?”
“Of course I do, you’re everything I could never be.”
“Then let me in, Ben. I let you in. Just let me in.”
Ben hugged him despite himself. He drew him close, practically crushing the smaller man to him, and for the first time in a while, he knew he was home.
Summary: It started off as a trust exercise.
Prompt: Telepathy/Mind Meld
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
“You want me to do what?” Ben stared at Poe, feeling like Poe had stabbed him. He couldn’t read Poe’s mind again, he just couldn’t.
“Read my mind. It’s the least I can do to stop jumping at shadows all the time.”
Ben’s face fell. Even those healing scars near his temple and lower lip respectively were a reminder of what exactly he had done as Kylo Ren. How deeply he had hurt another sentient being. He didn’t feel any sort of hatred from Poe, but Poe had every right to. Force willing he hated himself. Knew Poe deserved someone else. Even if those someone elses were already taken.
“I hated doing it,” he said. “But I guess that doesn’t make any difference. I’m sorry.”
“I know.” Poe’s voice was subdued, soft.
“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. We can just do something else.”
“I want to be able to trust you again. To know that you’re not intent on...doing that.”
Ben swallowed. “You know it could go wrong.”
“I know.” Poe took a deep breath. “I can accept that.”
Ben knew how to do it. Extending a hand, but more than that, extending a tendril of his mind into Poe’s. He swore he felt Poe flinch, and he withdrew immediately.
— pushing past defenses, past memories and sensations, his discomfort with Poe’s hisses of pain being overridden by a desire to get revenge on Skywalker. The image in his mind of strangling Skywalker, watching his worthless face turn blue with lack of oxygen, was all but intoxicating —
He couldn’t do that again. Skywalker was dead, but he was good as invading Poe’s mind. Hurting him. Poe looked at him. “It’s okay.”
“I was hurting you.”
“Ben.” Poe stepped forward. “It was strange, but you felt different. Before, you were angry. Conflicted, yet angry. Now...”
“It doesn’t make any difference.” And stars, Poe deserved better —
“I’m just saying what I saw.”
Ben took a deep breath. “We’re only trying again if you want to.”
Poe nodded. “It’s okay. Maybe...if you go too far, I’ll say ‘Finalizer’.” A beat. “I mean, it’s not like...that, but...”
“I understand.” Finalizer. That was the closest thing they could do to remind Ben to stop.
He’d done enough damage. He wasn’t about to hurt Poe again.
He reached out. Tentative. Can you hear me? Can I come in?
Poe, slowly, nodded.
Slowly, Ben made his way into his thoughts. He didn’t force in. He kept looking at Poe, asking questions, wondering if this was right. If this was all right. And he could feel something. A mind that was still patching itself together, but shone as brightly as a sun.
“You’re beautiful,” Ben murmured. “Even your mind is beautiful. So pure.”
“You don’t know what I did, Ben.” Poe laughed, bitterly. “I haven’t been pure in a long time.”
Poe was still a better man than him. Poe had killed, yes, and had played an indirect role in deaths like Paige Tico’s. But he hadn’t massacred. He hadn’t become a dictator. Not that that was a high bar, but why was he trying to reconnect with this broken soul?
“You want to know why?” Poe said. “Let me show you.”
It was too much. Too much light. Too much feeling. Too much...love? Did Poe —
“How could you not have known?” Poe said.
Ben withdrew from Poe’s mind abruptly. Poe didn’t have to say their code word. He’d seen plenty. He wasn’t lovable. His uncle and mother and Snoke had driven that into his mind how many times? And yet...
And yet he was selfish enough to want this.
“You deserve better.” he said. “So much better.”
“And yet I want you. Maybe you are ‘better’.” Poe paused. “Do you love me?”
“Of course I do, you’re everything I could never be.”
“Then let me in, Ben. I let you in. Just let me in.”
Ben hugged him despite himself. He drew him close, practically crushing the smaller man to him, and for the first time in a while, he knew he was home.
