For allbingo
Mar. 29th, 2021 09:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Excavation
Summary: Poe lied to Finn and Rey about how he got off Jakku.
Prompt: Lying
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author’s Notes: I know that the theory of Kylo saving Poe got debunked proper in the Poe Dameron comics, but I still find it fascinating to explore.
When Rey and Finn actually ask him about how he got off Jakku, Poe lies. Of course he lies. He has to. There are things that are too painful to actually go into detail about. But he makes up a story. Makes up a story, just to protect both their feelings.
And because the truth is unbelievable.
***
The sand seems to be smothering him. Even as Poe sinks deeper into the Sinking Fields, he wonders, exactly, if this is how he’s going to die. Not only is he going to die forgotten on Jakku, smothered by a TIE fighter that he stole, but he’s going to die knowing that he failed. Knowing that he gave up the map to Kylo Ren against his will. No matter how hard he struggled, no matter how hard he fought. He failed to protect BB-8. He failed, plain and simple. Maybe this is how he dies. Just a man, not a hero —
The sand shifts. The TIE fighter seems to be lifting, and...is that sky? Maybe Poe’s dead, and this is the afterlife, but then again, if this was the afterlife...well, one would think that they’d think of something more creative than being stuck in a downed TIE fighter...
It’s there that Poe sees the masked face of Kylo Ren, and he suppresses a groan. Actually, considering the circumstances, suppressing a groan is quite an understatement.
This is going to be painful. He’s going to be dragged back to the Finalizer. He doesn’t know how much worse things can get, but Kylo Ren is going to find something else to take from him, he knows that much.
***
“What were you thinking?” Kylo says. “Stealing a TIE fighter like that...”
He’s, impossibly, tending to Poe. Offering him water, offering him a damp washcloth on his forehead. Treating his injuries from the TIE fighter crash. Poe doesn’t know why, but from what he’s heard, he knows that Kylo Ren can be notoriously erratic.
“Maybe...I was trying to get away from you,” Poe rasps. “I knew you were a monster. I heard stories of your cruelty. It’s different seeing it firsthand, isn’t it?”
Kylo pauses. Then, "I never wanted to hurt you.”
Why?
Poe legitimately doesn’t understand why. At all, really. After all, Kylo Ren, as far as Poe knows, doesn’t have any regrets about doing some of the other stuff. Does he regret razing that village? Does he regret torturing Del Meeko? Killing Lor San Tekka? (What did Tekka even mean, talking about his family?)
Kylo continues. “The interrogations never gave me any pleasure. But this is one of the worst things I’ve done.” He heals the bleeding cut near Poe’s temple. “Your head’s lucky to be fine.”
“Who are you? Why won’t you take off that mask?”
“Does it really matter?” Kylo’s voice isn’t really soft right now, not like when he complimented Poe for enduring torture. Poe supposes that he should be grateful for that if not for the underlying grief in there like broken transparisteel. Repressed rage. “The past is irrelevant. Perhaps I was feeling charitable that day. Perhaps it doesn’t matter why.”
His gloved hand is shaking, and there it briefly, gently, brushes Poe’s shoulder. Poe doesn’t know what to think of that.
“That’s...an oddly specific way of answering things,” Poe says.
***
They head towards Niima Outpost, just off Kelvin Ridge. Even as Poe stops, overlooking Niima Outpost, having to find his own way (and he prays Finn made it off, at least), he turns to Kylo. “What are you going to do now?”
“I have my duties,” Kylo says. “I have to go back.”
“Even after you showed me mercy?”
“It is not mercy," Kylo says. “Perhaps I’m giving you...a head start, of sorts." Another brush of fingers over Poe’s shoulder; there’s something about the personal space issue that reminds Poe of Ben — and it makes him shiver. He doesn’t want to picture Kylo being in any way like the love of his life.
“Yeah. Sure.” Poe looks up at him. “You could come with me.” He supposes it’s his old desire to save people coming back to bite him. It was what helped him spare Sela Trune even when she’d done nothing but hurt him.
"I — I don’t belong here,” Kylo says. “I suppose I should have known. You’re not like the Resistance members that surround you. You have a love for others that is naive, if admirable.”
“There’s nothing wrong with loving everyone,” Poe retorts.
“So you say. You should go. I will make my own way back.” Then, “May Vader protect you."
And that — that elevating Vader to a deity — doesn’t make sense at all. Then again, Kylo makes no sense. Hurting him one minute, helping him the next. (Even if there were moments where, through the pain, Poe had a feeling that Kylo was being forced through it)
***
When, weeks later, on Crait, he sees Kylo with Ben’s face — in the midst of his brain melting down in a series of denials, denying what’s in front of him like denying will reshape reality, he knows, at least, why Kylo spared him. Ben remembered. He doesn’t tell Finn the truth, because how will Finn react, knowing the man who could have left him wheelchair-bound saved Poe from being buried alive in the desert? That they were friends once? And Rey...she already hates him; she doesn’t need more reasons to.
So he keeps it secret. He’s not ready to forget yet — even as the war rages on.
Summary: Poe lied to Finn and Rey about how he got off Jakku.
Prompt: Lying
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author’s Notes: I know that the theory of Kylo saving Poe got debunked proper in the Poe Dameron comics, but I still find it fascinating to explore.
When Rey and Finn actually ask him about how he got off Jakku, Poe lies. Of course he lies. He has to. There are things that are too painful to actually go into detail about. But he makes up a story. Makes up a story, just to protect both their feelings.
And because the truth is unbelievable.
***
The sand seems to be smothering him. Even as Poe sinks deeper into the Sinking Fields, he wonders, exactly, if this is how he’s going to die. Not only is he going to die forgotten on Jakku, smothered by a TIE fighter that he stole, but he’s going to die knowing that he failed. Knowing that he gave up the map to Kylo Ren against his will. No matter how hard he struggled, no matter how hard he fought. He failed to protect BB-8. He failed, plain and simple. Maybe this is how he dies. Just a man, not a hero —
The sand shifts. The TIE fighter seems to be lifting, and...is that sky? Maybe Poe’s dead, and this is the afterlife, but then again, if this was the afterlife...well, one would think that they’d think of something more creative than being stuck in a downed TIE fighter...
It’s there that Poe sees the masked face of Kylo Ren, and he suppresses a groan. Actually, considering the circumstances, suppressing a groan is quite an understatement.
This is going to be painful. He’s going to be dragged back to the Finalizer. He doesn’t know how much worse things can get, but Kylo Ren is going to find something else to take from him, he knows that much.
***
“What were you thinking?” Kylo says. “Stealing a TIE fighter like that...”
He’s, impossibly, tending to Poe. Offering him water, offering him a damp washcloth on his forehead. Treating his injuries from the TIE fighter crash. Poe doesn’t know why, but from what he’s heard, he knows that Kylo Ren can be notoriously erratic.
“Maybe...I was trying to get away from you,” Poe rasps. “I knew you were a monster. I heard stories of your cruelty. It’s different seeing it firsthand, isn’t it?”
Kylo pauses. Then, "I never wanted to hurt you.”
Why?
Poe legitimately doesn’t understand why. At all, really. After all, Kylo Ren, as far as Poe knows, doesn’t have any regrets about doing some of the other stuff. Does he regret razing that village? Does he regret torturing Del Meeko? Killing Lor San Tekka? (What did Tekka even mean, talking about his family?)
Kylo continues. “The interrogations never gave me any pleasure. But this is one of the worst things I’ve done.” He heals the bleeding cut near Poe’s temple. “Your head’s lucky to be fine.”
“Who are you? Why won’t you take off that mask?”
“Does it really matter?” Kylo’s voice isn’t really soft right now, not like when he complimented Poe for enduring torture. Poe supposes that he should be grateful for that if not for the underlying grief in there like broken transparisteel. Repressed rage. “The past is irrelevant. Perhaps I was feeling charitable that day. Perhaps it doesn’t matter why.”
His gloved hand is shaking, and there it briefly, gently, brushes Poe’s shoulder. Poe doesn’t know what to think of that.
“That’s...an oddly specific way of answering things,” Poe says.
***
They head towards Niima Outpost, just off Kelvin Ridge. Even as Poe stops, overlooking Niima Outpost, having to find his own way (and he prays Finn made it off, at least), he turns to Kylo. “What are you going to do now?”
“I have my duties,” Kylo says. “I have to go back.”
“Even after you showed me mercy?”
“It is not mercy," Kylo says. “Perhaps I’m giving you...a head start, of sorts." Another brush of fingers over Poe’s shoulder; there’s something about the personal space issue that reminds Poe of Ben — and it makes him shiver. He doesn’t want to picture Kylo being in any way like the love of his life.
“Yeah. Sure.” Poe looks up at him. “You could come with me.” He supposes it’s his old desire to save people coming back to bite him. It was what helped him spare Sela Trune even when she’d done nothing but hurt him.
"I — I don’t belong here,” Kylo says. “I suppose I should have known. You’re not like the Resistance members that surround you. You have a love for others that is naive, if admirable.”
“There’s nothing wrong with loving everyone,” Poe retorts.
“So you say. You should go. I will make my own way back.” Then, “May Vader protect you."
And that — that elevating Vader to a deity — doesn’t make sense at all. Then again, Kylo makes no sense. Hurting him one minute, helping him the next. (Even if there were moments where, through the pain, Poe had a feeling that Kylo was being forced through it)
***
When, weeks later, on Crait, he sees Kylo with Ben’s face — in the midst of his brain melting down in a series of denials, denying what’s in front of him like denying will reshape reality, he knows, at least, why Kylo spared him. Ben remembered. He doesn’t tell Finn the truth, because how will Finn react, knowing the man who could have left him wheelchair-bound saved Poe from being buried alive in the desert? That they were friends once? And Rey...she already hates him; she doesn’t need more reasons to.
So he keeps it secret. He’s not ready to forget yet — even as the war rages on.
