For allbingo
Mar. 18th, 2021 07:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Absolution
Summary: After Snoke’s exiled to Demetrius, Poe helps Ben come to grips.
Prompt: I Told You So
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Snoke had been exiled to Demetrius. Even as Ben boarded the ship again, he felt Tai’s reassuring hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Ben,” he said. “He’s gone.”
“I guess he is.” He’ll come back, a more pessimistic part of his brain said. The Voice always comes back.
Poe was at the Academy. Hadn’t seen this. Ben could only describe himself as grateful that Poe didn’t have to deal with Snoke being basically a traitor. Hadn't had to deal with seeing Snoke’s wounds all but gouged into him. Uncle Luke was a better swordsman, even though Snoke had been no weakling either.
He could take comfort in Tai’s presence, brushing against the edge of his mind like a comforting hand. And Poe...Ben, selfishly, wished Poe was here as well.
***
When they got back to the Academy, Ben dialed Poe on the terminal in his hut. He was already hoping that Poe would pick up, because now that Ben was away from Demetrius, he already swore that he was on the verge of breaking. Cracking up. Maybe he was fragmenting right now, and he just had no idea.
He could already picture Luke reproving him in his head. I told you so. There had been something about Snoke that had been captivating and confident, like Ben had wanted to be. Uncle Luke said that he was the best Jedi of his Order, the one who would take it over when Luke had stepped down, and stars, Ben was so tired of all these superlatives describing him. Couldn’t he just be “Ben”?
And maybe Luke was doing the I-told-you-so dance somewhere. Stupid Ben, falling for Snoke’s lies so easily. In a holo, this would be the part where Snoke admitted that he’d felt something for Ben besides just seeing him as a valuable dejarik piece. But it wasn’t a holo, and people didn’t just say these sorts of things. Sometimes they were just using you and enjoying it.
So you were just nothing to them, in the end.
Poe’s image appeared. “You okay?” he said. “Your uncle said they had to give one of your members the boot...”
“Snoke.”
“Damn. I’m sorry, Ben,” Poe said.
There was something about the look in his eyes, the softness there, that felt like bacta being applied to Ben’s wounds. “Why did Snoke betray me?”
“Ben,” Poe said softly, “Have you talked to your uncle about this?”
“I can’t. He’ll just...blame me.”
“I don’t get how you can say it wasn’t my fault what the Spice Runners did to me, but you can’t forgive yourself for Snoke tricking you.”
“I...” And strangely, Ben couldn’t think of anything to say as a rebuttal.
“He fooled everyone,” Poe said. “Even me.”
“Yeah.”
“And honestly, it’s not your fault, Ben,” Poe said. “You were tricked. We all were.”
There was something about Poe’s voice in that moment that felt, just for a bit, like he’d broken down Ben’s defenses. Like he’d broken his way past just to tell Ben that there was nothing wrong with him for how Snoke deceived him. Maybe, just maybe, Ben wasn’t worthless. Maybe he was more than what Snoke had done to him. He was all but clean.
“Thank you,” Ben said. “I...needed to hear that.”
“It’s the truth.”
Even Poe’s smile felt like absolution.
Summary: After Snoke’s exiled to Demetrius, Poe helps Ben come to grips.
Prompt: I Told You So
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Snoke had been exiled to Demetrius. Even as Ben boarded the ship again, he felt Tai’s reassuring hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Ben,” he said. “He’s gone.”
“I guess he is.” He’ll come back, a more pessimistic part of his brain said. The Voice always comes back.
Poe was at the Academy. Hadn’t seen this. Ben could only describe himself as grateful that Poe didn’t have to deal with Snoke being basically a traitor. Hadn't had to deal with seeing Snoke’s wounds all but gouged into him. Uncle Luke was a better swordsman, even though Snoke had been no weakling either.
He could take comfort in Tai’s presence, brushing against the edge of his mind like a comforting hand. And Poe...Ben, selfishly, wished Poe was here as well.
***
When they got back to the Academy, Ben dialed Poe on the terminal in his hut. He was already hoping that Poe would pick up, because now that Ben was away from Demetrius, he already swore that he was on the verge of breaking. Cracking up. Maybe he was fragmenting right now, and he just had no idea.
He could already picture Luke reproving him in his head. I told you so. There had been something about Snoke that had been captivating and confident, like Ben had wanted to be. Uncle Luke said that he was the best Jedi of his Order, the one who would take it over when Luke had stepped down, and stars, Ben was so tired of all these superlatives describing him. Couldn’t he just be “Ben”?
And maybe Luke was doing the I-told-you-so dance somewhere. Stupid Ben, falling for Snoke’s lies so easily. In a holo, this would be the part where Snoke admitted that he’d felt something for Ben besides just seeing him as a valuable dejarik piece. But it wasn’t a holo, and people didn’t just say these sorts of things. Sometimes they were just using you and enjoying it.
So you were just nothing to them, in the end.
Poe’s image appeared. “You okay?” he said. “Your uncle said they had to give one of your members the boot...”
“Snoke.”
“Damn. I’m sorry, Ben,” Poe said.
There was something about the look in his eyes, the softness there, that felt like bacta being applied to Ben’s wounds. “Why did Snoke betray me?”
“Ben,” Poe said softly, “Have you talked to your uncle about this?”
“I can’t. He’ll just...blame me.”
“I don’t get how you can say it wasn’t my fault what the Spice Runners did to me, but you can’t forgive yourself for Snoke tricking you.”
“I...” And strangely, Ben couldn’t think of anything to say as a rebuttal.
“He fooled everyone,” Poe said. “Even me.”
“Yeah.”
“And honestly, it’s not your fault, Ben,” Poe said. “You were tricked. We all were.”
There was something about Poe’s voice in that moment that felt, just for a bit, like he’d broken down Ben’s defenses. Like he’d broken his way past just to tell Ben that there was nothing wrong with him for how Snoke deceived him. Maybe, just maybe, Ben wasn’t worthless. Maybe he was more than what Snoke had done to him. He was all but clean.
“Thank you,” Ben said. “I...needed to hear that.”
“It’s the truth.”
Even Poe’s smile felt like absolution.
