For allbingo
Mar. 17th, 2021 03:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Gods and Monsters
Summary: Ben’s steadily starting to get more obsessed with Vader, much to Poe’s consternation.
Prompt: Myths
“You shouldn’t be going in the Archives like that,” Poe said. He knew that arguing with Ben would all but be fruitless, but he had to say something. After Ransolm Casterfo had let the lothcat out of the bag, Ben had gone from being stunned to having this hunger for information that terrified Poe. Even if it was just an interest in a family member that Ben had never known, it made Poe fear that Ben would cross a point where Poe couldn’t follow him.
That was stupid, though, wasn’t it? No matter how they tried to split the two of them up, it never, ever worked. Ben believed in Poe, and Poe believed in Ben.
“It’s not like I can find information about Vader anywhere else,” Ben said. There was something in his voice that chilled Poe. The hunger for information that would have been innocuous in any other context, but here...
"Do you need to?” Poe said.
“I want to know why,” Ben said. “How he could have everything and throw it away. He had a loving wife, two children on the way, good friends, everything, and he still gave it up.” Then, “There’s some things about him that I can’t help but admire too.”
“I don’t think there’s much to admire,” Poe said. That was the kindest thing he could think of to say.
“He managed to drag himself out of the pits of Mustafar after Obi-Wan left him to die,” Ben said. “My namesake. My namesake sadistically cut off a man’s arms and legs and left him to die, and somehow he’s the hero.”
Poe blinked. “Okay, that’s bad. But Ben...it’s not like it makes what Vader did later okay.”
“Well, of course not,” Ben said, crossing his arms. “But it’s not like Obi-Wan’s a hero. Why would my parents name me after a man who mutilated his friend and left him to die? Is that what they’re honoring? The idea that it’s ‘different’ if it’s a Sith? That the Sith...aren’t really worthy of being treated as sentient beings? Who’s braver, Poe: the man who left his best friend, his alleged ‘brother’ to die, or the man who clawed his way out of that lava pool, horribly disfigured, barely able to stand, and used his injuries to his advantage?”
Poe scratched the back of his neck. “Ben, you’re getting a little ranty,” he said.
It was one of those moments where Ben’s eyes cleared and he seemed to realize where he was. “I’m fine,” he said. “It’s just that...sometimes I don’t know what to believe. Mom thinks I should be a great Jedi. But...” He picked at the stray threads of his white tunic, almost, Poe thought, like he was repulsed by the very sight of them. Like white just didn’t suit him.
Like white didn’t fit him. More like gray. A very dark gray.
"But what?” Poe said gently.
“How can I associate myself with an order that’s done horrible things? I mean, there’s what they did to Darth Revan, wiping his memory. Casting out the Exile when she needed help. I think they might have killed a whole species...”
Damn, but what could Poe even say to that? “Well,” he said, “Maybe the ideas that the Jedi was built on aren’t bad...”
“They used to kidnap children, Poe. Babies.”
“I meant stuff like compassion. You’re all for that. And you could always just...run away.”
The righteous anger seemed to drain out of Ben as he sat down. “I can’t let my parents down. I just feel like I have to make them happy.”
“I’m sure they’d want you to be happy, Ben.”
Hesitantly, Poe approached him, sat down next to him. It seemed natural, he thought, sitting next to Ben, close enough to touch, like they were a single entity. If people talked, what did it matter?
He let his pinkie rest near Ben’s, close enough for their hands to almost entwine, and hoped he could run to Ben before Ben faded away.
Summary: Ben’s steadily starting to get more obsessed with Vader, much to Poe’s consternation.
Prompt: Myths
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
“You shouldn’t be going in the Archives like that,” Poe said. He knew that arguing with Ben would all but be fruitless, but he had to say something. After Ransolm Casterfo had let the lothcat out of the bag, Ben had gone from being stunned to having this hunger for information that terrified Poe. Even if it was just an interest in a family member that Ben had never known, it made Poe fear that Ben would cross a point where Poe couldn’t follow him.
That was stupid, though, wasn’t it? No matter how they tried to split the two of them up, it never, ever worked. Ben believed in Poe, and Poe believed in Ben.
“It’s not like I can find information about Vader anywhere else,” Ben said. There was something in his voice that chilled Poe. The hunger for information that would have been innocuous in any other context, but here...
"Do you need to?” Poe said.
“I want to know why,” Ben said. “How he could have everything and throw it away. He had a loving wife, two children on the way, good friends, everything, and he still gave it up.” Then, “There’s some things about him that I can’t help but admire too.”
“I don’t think there’s much to admire,” Poe said. That was the kindest thing he could think of to say.
“He managed to drag himself out of the pits of Mustafar after Obi-Wan left him to die,” Ben said. “My namesake. My namesake sadistically cut off a man’s arms and legs and left him to die, and somehow he’s the hero.”
Poe blinked. “Okay, that’s bad. But Ben...it’s not like it makes what Vader did later okay.”
“Well, of course not,” Ben said, crossing his arms. “But it’s not like Obi-Wan’s a hero. Why would my parents name me after a man who mutilated his friend and left him to die? Is that what they’re honoring? The idea that it’s ‘different’ if it’s a Sith? That the Sith...aren’t really worthy of being treated as sentient beings? Who’s braver, Poe: the man who left his best friend, his alleged ‘brother’ to die, or the man who clawed his way out of that lava pool, horribly disfigured, barely able to stand, and used his injuries to his advantage?”
Poe scratched the back of his neck. “Ben, you’re getting a little ranty,” he said.
It was one of those moments where Ben’s eyes cleared and he seemed to realize where he was. “I’m fine,” he said. “It’s just that...sometimes I don’t know what to believe. Mom thinks I should be a great Jedi. But...” He picked at the stray threads of his white tunic, almost, Poe thought, like he was repulsed by the very sight of them. Like white just didn’t suit him.
Like white didn’t fit him. More like gray. A very dark gray.
"But what?” Poe said gently.
“How can I associate myself with an order that’s done horrible things? I mean, there’s what they did to Darth Revan, wiping his memory. Casting out the Exile when she needed help. I think they might have killed a whole species...”
Damn, but what could Poe even say to that? “Well,” he said, “Maybe the ideas that the Jedi was built on aren’t bad...”
“They used to kidnap children, Poe. Babies.”
“I meant stuff like compassion. You’re all for that. And you could always just...run away.”
The righteous anger seemed to drain out of Ben as he sat down. “I can’t let my parents down. I just feel like I have to make them happy.”
“I’m sure they’d want you to be happy, Ben.”
Hesitantly, Poe approached him, sat down next to him. It seemed natural, he thought, sitting next to Ben, close enough to touch, like they were a single entity. If people talked, what did it matter?
He let his pinkie rest near Ben’s, close enough for their hands to almost entwine, and hoped he could run to Ben before Ben faded away.
