For allbingo
Mar. 11th, 2021 02:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Averted Destiny
Summary: This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, in a universe where you never fell.
Prompt: Second person narration
This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, after Palpatine’s defeat.
You’ve seen the visions of Padme dying, in your nightmares, in a swirl of rainbow and ripples. Hearing her scream, in a way that rings in your ear even as you wake up. You can hear the screaming. It haunted you long enough to go to Master Yoda. To nearly go to Palpatine.
You’re in Padme’s apartment on Coruscant, the apartment that you both share, and you’re afraid. Fear is gnawing at you, the dragon in your chest whispering about how even stars burn out...
You’re tracing letters on her hand, wondering if you made a grave mistake persuading Mace Windu to “merely" arrest Palpatine, only for the combined blocking of his Force Lightning — your lightsaber and Mace’s, blue and purple, deflecting the Lightning.
(Mace told you that you needed to talk. He didn’t bring up Padme. You wonder if he even sensed it at all)
You’re tracing letters on her hand. Letters that are all but Aurebesh inscriptions done with your index finger. Words such as “angel” and “I love you”. Because you do love this beautiful, amazing woman. From the start, she has had you, held you in her grip, and it is a gift of the Force that she loved you in return.
Still does. You think of her, in her beautiful turquoise nightgown, bantering with you on the balcony, and how her smile could have shone brighter than all of Coruscant. Her, with her hands gently resting against your chest. I’m not gonna die in childbirth, Ani. I promise you.
You, placing your hand against her belly and feeling the baby kick. Whoa! Kick that hard, it’s gotta be a girl.
You’re scared. Scared for her, as you’ve always been.
But she doesn’t die. There’s no accident. No bleeding, hemorrhaging, none of the things you’ve heard can go wrong during childbirth. Just...two babies?
“Padme,” you say, wonderingly, “There’s two of them.”
She’s crying, but it’s happy crying. Everything’s all right.
***
When you clean up and she’s still tired from the exertion of pushing two currently squalling humans out of her body, you wrap the babies in blankets, both of you. Padme’s hair is messy, but she still looks like the most radiant, beautiful woman you’ve ever seen.
“I don’t know how we missed this,” Padme says. “But I suppose they are blessings, all the same.”
“Our babies,” you say, “Are a blessing. Both of them.”
You’re feeding the boy milk, and the girl’s currently nursing. The boy looks up at you with so much trust in his eyes that you promise yourself that you’ll do your best to make him happy. Him and his sister.
“Luke,” you say out loud.
“Mmmm?” Padme looks up; the girl’s been shifted to be burped, and then she seems content.
“I think we should name the boy ‘Luke’,” you say. “It just feels right.”
“Luke Skywalker,” Padme says, softly. “It’s a lovely name, but it’s so much expectation to fit in one person. It’s...a hero’s name.”
“Do you...”
“No. I like it. We’ll just think of something to call the twins when they’re small.”
You think of your mother, and her name for you, Ani. You wish she could have been here. She would have spoiled her grandkids. Both of them. You wish Ahsoka was there too, just to be the cool aunt — you wish Ahsoka knew, at that, about how much you love Padme and how much she means to you. How much Luke means to you, right here. And you wish Obi-Wan could be a sort of quirky uncle to the twins too. You can picture it. A family you’re not sure you can have.
“What about Leia?” Padme says. “For the girl.”
“Leia Skywalker,” you say. “It’s perfect.”
***
Luke and Leia are asleep when you discuss where to take them. "We can’t just go public with them,” Padme says. “For the longest time, I thought that being a Jedi was what you were made for. Saving people was what you were made for."
“There is that,” you say. “But there’s also you. You, Luke, Leia...you’re my home. And I think that I might have to leave the Order if the truth comes out anyway.” Then, “We’re not going back to Tatooine. You, Luke, Leia...you deserve a better life than this.”
“I wanted to live on Naboo.”
“We could go there,” you say. “Make a life for all of us.”
You can picture it. A life for Luke and Leia, better and safer than growing up as a slave shuffled from master to master. And you’ll come back to free the slaves one day. You promised.
“I’ll sleep on it,” you say. “I think my dreams might be better tonight.”
“I’ll help you,” Padme says.
You don’t have time to think, because she’s hugging you, dressed in her aquamarine nightgown, and you’re pulling her close and taking her in, and being relieved that, for once, you were able to save someone.
This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, right here, right now.
Summary: This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, in a universe where you never fell.
Prompt: Second person narration
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author’s Notes: Call this playing around with things I want to see changed in Star Wars. Just some more.
This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, after Palpatine’s defeat.
You’ve seen the visions of Padme dying, in your nightmares, in a swirl of rainbow and ripples. Hearing her scream, in a way that rings in your ear even as you wake up. You can hear the screaming. It haunted you long enough to go to Master Yoda. To nearly go to Palpatine.
You’re in Padme’s apartment on Coruscant, the apartment that you both share, and you’re afraid. Fear is gnawing at you, the dragon in your chest whispering about how even stars burn out...
You’re tracing letters on her hand, wondering if you made a grave mistake persuading Mace Windu to “merely" arrest Palpatine, only for the combined blocking of his Force Lightning — your lightsaber and Mace’s, blue and purple, deflecting the Lightning.
(Mace told you that you needed to talk. He didn’t bring up Padme. You wonder if he even sensed it at all)
You’re tracing letters on her hand. Letters that are all but Aurebesh inscriptions done with your index finger. Words such as “angel” and “I love you”. Because you do love this beautiful, amazing woman. From the start, she has had you, held you in her grip, and it is a gift of the Force that she loved you in return.
Still does. You think of her, in her beautiful turquoise nightgown, bantering with you on the balcony, and how her smile could have shone brighter than all of Coruscant. Her, with her hands gently resting against your chest. I’m not gonna die in childbirth, Ani. I promise you.
You, placing your hand against her belly and feeling the baby kick. Whoa! Kick that hard, it’s gotta be a girl.
You’re scared. Scared for her, as you’ve always been.
But she doesn’t die. There’s no accident. No bleeding, hemorrhaging, none of the things you’ve heard can go wrong during childbirth. Just...two babies?
“Padme,” you say, wonderingly, “There’s two of them.”
She’s crying, but it’s happy crying. Everything’s all right.
***
When you clean up and she’s still tired from the exertion of pushing two currently squalling humans out of her body, you wrap the babies in blankets, both of you. Padme’s hair is messy, but she still looks like the most radiant, beautiful woman you’ve ever seen.
“I don’t know how we missed this,” Padme says. “But I suppose they are blessings, all the same.”
“Our babies,” you say, “Are a blessing. Both of them.”
You’re feeding the boy milk, and the girl’s currently nursing. The boy looks up at you with so much trust in his eyes that you promise yourself that you’ll do your best to make him happy. Him and his sister.
“Luke,” you say out loud.
“Mmmm?” Padme looks up; the girl’s been shifted to be burped, and then she seems content.
“I think we should name the boy ‘Luke’,” you say. “It just feels right.”
“Luke Skywalker,” Padme says, softly. “It’s a lovely name, but it’s so much expectation to fit in one person. It’s...a hero’s name.”
“Do you...”
“No. I like it. We’ll just think of something to call the twins when they’re small.”
You think of your mother, and her name for you, Ani. You wish she could have been here. She would have spoiled her grandkids. Both of them. You wish Ahsoka was there too, just to be the cool aunt — you wish Ahsoka knew, at that, about how much you love Padme and how much she means to you. How much Luke means to you, right here. And you wish Obi-Wan could be a sort of quirky uncle to the twins too. You can picture it. A family you’re not sure you can have.
“What about Leia?” Padme says. “For the girl.”
“Leia Skywalker,” you say. “It’s perfect.”
***
Luke and Leia are asleep when you discuss where to take them. "We can’t just go public with them,” Padme says. “For the longest time, I thought that being a Jedi was what you were made for. Saving people was what you were made for."
“There is that,” you say. “But there’s also you. You, Luke, Leia...you’re my home. And I think that I might have to leave the Order if the truth comes out anyway.” Then, “We’re not going back to Tatooine. You, Luke, Leia...you deserve a better life than this.”
“I wanted to live on Naboo.”
“We could go there,” you say. “Make a life for all of us.”
You can picture it. A life for Luke and Leia, better and safer than growing up as a slave shuffled from master to master. And you’ll come back to free the slaves one day. You promised.
“I’ll sleep on it,” you say. “I think my dreams might be better tonight.”
“I’ll help you,” Padme says.
You don’t have time to think, because she’s hugging you, dressed in her aquamarine nightgown, and you’re pulling her close and taking her in, and being relieved that, for once, you were able to save someone.
This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, right here, right now.
