For allbingo
Jan. 30th, 2021 12:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofleithianTitle: Square Peg
Summary: Tai wasn’t the only one Ben talked to about the pressure he felt to be perfect.
Prompt: Tough
It had started out as talking about a bad day he had at the Academy. Started. Ben didn’t expect to be all but ranting to Poe over the comm system, stopping himself from really losing it.
“Are you okay?” Poe finally said.
Even as Ben looked up, he couldn’t help but notice something in Poe’s eyes that was almost Tai-like: genuine sympathy and concern. There was something about it that was a relief to see, if Ben was to be perfectly honest.
“Voe...Voe thinks that there’s something great about being me,” Ben said. He picked at a stray thread on his robe, suddenly finding it easier to look at than Poe. (Voe. Poe. Two similar-sounding names. Two people who couldn’t be more different to Ben)
“And?” Poe said.
“It’s not that great,” Ben said. “People think that they know me. That they want to be me. They don’t know what it’s like to try constantly to be perfect. To be good at what I do. I mean, if I’m so perfect, Poe, why don’t I feel perfect? All these nightmares, everything.”
He picked at his thread again. It wasn’t easy, he thought, picking and picking, and feeling like he was just being whiny. There were people who had it much worse than him. At least Ben had a family that loved him
(but did they? Sometimes Ben doubted it, at least in the dark)
had a best friend
(who he was stupidly in love with and Poe had no idea, thought himself so unworthy)
had...everything.
He should be happy.
For all he wished Voe would be herself, Ben supposed he wasn’t that different.
Poe spoke. “They’re being too harsh on you,” he said. "They’re pushing you into a round hole when you’re a square peg.”
“You really think I’m a square peg?” Ben said, smiling faintly.
“Could be. That’s not a bad thing. Maybe you could try being that square peg. Being yourself, basically.”
Ben smiled, more widely then. “You and Tai would get along great,” Ben said.
Poe did actually laugh. “He sounds like a good man.”
Silence.
“Just be what I...like about you, Ben,” Poe said. “Not an idea that you can’t achieve. Better yet, be what you want to be.”
Ben nodded. He could deal with that.
Everything Poe said...for a moment, he could be okay. Even if he wasn’t okay.
Summary: Tai wasn’t the only one Ben talked to about the pressure he felt to be perfect.
Prompt: Tough
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
It had started out as talking about a bad day he had at the Academy. Started. Ben didn’t expect to be all but ranting to Poe over the comm system, stopping himself from really losing it.
“Are you okay?” Poe finally said.
Even as Ben looked up, he couldn’t help but notice something in Poe’s eyes that was almost Tai-like: genuine sympathy and concern. There was something about it that was a relief to see, if Ben was to be perfectly honest.
“Voe...Voe thinks that there’s something great about being me,” Ben said. He picked at a stray thread on his robe, suddenly finding it easier to look at than Poe. (Voe. Poe. Two similar-sounding names. Two people who couldn’t be more different to Ben)
“And?” Poe said.
“It’s not that great,” Ben said. “People think that they know me. That they want to be me. They don’t know what it’s like to try constantly to be perfect. To be good at what I do. I mean, if I’m so perfect, Poe, why don’t I feel perfect? All these nightmares, everything.”
He picked at his thread again. It wasn’t easy, he thought, picking and picking, and feeling like he was just being whiny. There were people who had it much worse than him. At least Ben had a family that loved him
(but did they? Sometimes Ben doubted it, at least in the dark)
had a best friend
(who he was stupidly in love with and Poe had no idea, thought himself so unworthy)
had...everything.
He should be happy.
For all he wished Voe would be herself, Ben supposed he wasn’t that different.
Poe spoke. “They’re being too harsh on you,” he said. "They’re pushing you into a round hole when you’re a square peg.”
“You really think I’m a square peg?” Ben said, smiling faintly.
“Could be. That’s not a bad thing. Maybe you could try being that square peg. Being yourself, basically.”
Ben smiled, more widely then. “You and Tai would get along great,” Ben said.
Poe did actually laugh. “He sounds like a good man.”
Silence.
“Just be what I...like about you, Ben,” Poe said. “Not an idea that you can’t achieve. Better yet, be what you want to be.”
Ben nodded. He could deal with that.
Everything Poe said...for a moment, he could be okay. Even if he wasn’t okay.
