ladyofleithian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladyofleithian) wrote2017-09-22 12:37 pm
ladyofleithian) wrote2017-09-22 12:37 pm
Entry tags:
For whole_new_world
Title: Second Mother
Summary: In a galaxy where Shara Bey lived, how would things have turned out differently?
Prompt: Dead Character(s) Alive
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
When Poe's eight, his mother very narrowly survives a terrible illness. Finding the cure has been difficult, but ultimately, he's glad that his mama's okay. It was scary, he thinks, that moment when he thought that she wasn't going to be okay.
His mama isn't too unsettled, though. She's very strong. Poe hopes that when he gets older, he can be as strong as she is, and more.
***
It's when Shara's first recovering that Ben brings her a present -- it's a drawing of her, Kes and Poe, along with a whole series of flowers. Shara smiles down at the young boy who she's come to see as like an additional son. He needs it, considering his homelife. "Ben," she says, "They're beautiful. Thank you."
"You're welcome." Ben looks up at her with big brown eyes. "Don't get sick again, Mrs. Dameron. It was really scary."
Shara sighs. "Getting sick is a part of life," she says. "We all get sick or injured. But most of it isn't dangerous."
She definitely hopes, at least, as she tries to explain it as best she can to a five year old, that she doesn't ever get this sick again.
***
Ben and Poe get older, and they get more passionate about certain things. Ben gets passionate about ending slavery, Poe gets passionate about ending a war. And Shara has to say that she's proud of them for all of that. When Ben successfully gets Haranka Navarre put away, it's amazing. She's proud of Ben like he's her own son.
Her own son. She definitely didn't expect that to happen, but Ben's made his way into her heart. The tiny, delicate-looking boy who gave her a drawing when she recovered from her illness, the teenager with a lot of spark and belief. He and Poe are both her sons, and she couldn't love them both more.
***
When Ben becomes a Knight, she's there at the ceremony, Leia and Han too. It's more than worth it seeing the look on Han's face when Ben comes out with his Padawan braid severed -- it's this look (which Leia has too) like their son is growing up, like their son is really going places. Shara can feel it all too well. They're all on their way, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. It's the same feeling that Shara got when Poe turned twenty-one -- the knowledge that they're all growing up so fast and time isn't going to slow down for them, not once, not ever.
Ben gives Poe his Padawan braid. There's something about the look on Poe's face where she swears that his eyes light up. It reminds her of when she and Kes...well, when she and Kes were first in love. The way that Poe looks at Ben sometimes, the hugs they've shared, Ben never stopping in terms of talking about how wonderful Poe is (which is quite sweet), things like that. They care about each other, and that's wonderful.
They keep the braid safe, with the other things Ben's given Poe over the years. The lightsaber crystals, for example. There's a whole drawer full of Ben's stuff, and Poe keeps it close over the years.
***
She hates Lisaris. Not for the first time, Shara Bey knows what it's like to feel this white hot fury at someone for harming her sons, or doubting her sons, or anything like that. Just knowing that he had Poe tortured, forced Ben to listen...
She can't really describe the thoughts that flow through her when she first hears the news, other than They hurt my sons, they hurt my wonderful sons and I couldn't protect them.
She should have been there. She should have been able to shield Poe and Ben from everything Lisaris did. At least he's in prison now. Thank the stars. And Ben managed to get in a good blow at him.
Ben still blames himself for Thomas' death. Like it's his fault, like he should have been faster somehow. But it's not. Ben did the best he could, and he doesn't deserve to blame himself.
(Then again, he never does)
The best that Shara can do now is be there for them both. Give them a chance when they need to talk. And she knows that no matter what, she's always going to be there for them both when they need it most.
***
When they get together, Shara's nothing but happy for the both of them. They deserve that happiness, they truly do. Even as Poe and Ben approach Shara and Kes to say that they're together, Shara hugs them both.
"That's wonderful," she says. "Both of you -- you deserve that happiness."
From behind her, Kes good-naturedly says, "About time", and they both laugh. Ben grins, seeming a bit bashful all the while, and Poe is beaming. Then Shara says, "Who else knows?"
"My dad knows," Ben says. "He's onboard with it. Mom's..."
"What's wrong, Ben?"
"My mom and uncle think I'm making a mistake."
And there's something about that where Shara's heart breaks. How can they even think that? When will they learn that Ben's not some ticking timebomb or anything of that sort, but just a human being? He deserves that much, doesn't he?
"You're not making a mistake, Ben," Shara says. "And you never will. Not to me."
***
There's something about this Master Yana where Shara can't help but feel uneasy about him. It's nothing concrete; for all intents and purposes, there's nothing to be afraid of. And yet there's something about him that gives Shara a sort of visceral disgust. It's the sort of disgust that fills her body, shaking her to the bone, and she doesn't know why. It isn't just irritation; it's a sort of feeling like she needs to get Ben as far away from this man as possible, because Yana's possibly hurting --
Even that idea gives her the chills. Why would Yana be hurting Ben? He hasn't done anything to hurt Ben. Still, she keeps an eye on him, trying to keep it all casual. Asks Ben questions about how his day was. It's one day that the truth slips out, when Ben brings up Saw Gerrera.
"Master Yana said that they tortured other beings," Ben says. "Is that true?"
Shara freezes. Then she says, "Is that what he's been teaching you, Ben?"
"It's what he told me," Ben says. "Saw...I spoke with Dad and he said Saw was an extremist, but it doesn't quite answer my question. The Rebellion knew, didn't they? And they let him do it. Who just...lets someone torture other innocent people?"
Shara closes her eyes. This is a topic that she never thought she'd have to cover with Ben, but there she is. For a moment, she feels almost like a younger woman trying to answer little Ben's questions. To think that he had been such a tiny boy that she and Kes actually gave him more helpings at dinner...
"I don't know anything about Saw," she says. "When Kes and I joined the Rebellion, he was already dead. But I will say that there were others in the Rebellion who never would have dreamed of supporting torture. I fought alongside those people."
Ben looks alarmed. "I...I wasn't trying to insult them -- "
"You didn't, Ben; Yana did." Shara sighs. "Don't..." Don't trust him, she wants to say, and Ben already picks up on it because his eyes grow bigger.
"He's not a bad man, Mrs. Dameron -- "
"Maybe not. But...take what he says with a grain of salt, at least." She puts a hand on Ben's shoulder. "Saw's actions don't represent the rest of us."
"Well, of course not," Ben says. "You don't torture people."
"No, Ben. I don't." And Shara doubts she ever will.
***
It's the next day that she confronts Yana personally. She's an average-sized woman, and Yana is a giant next to her, but she's still not going to be intimidated by him. She gets straight to the point. "What have you been teaching Ben?"
"The truth," Yana says.
"What truth could there be?"
Yana looks thoughtful. "What you've done...you claim to be righteous, but you have done things that say otherwise."
"So we're evil, are we?" Shara says. "Just because we wanted to help others, we're evil? What kind of sick, twisted logic are you operating on, Yana?"
"If you think that I don't know what that's like, you're wrong. When I was a younger man, I felt that all too well."
Shara almost can't imagine Yana as a younger man. It seems all but impossible. She definitely can't picture herself having anything in common with Yana.
Yana continues. "Does it offend you, that idea?"
"I don't know you well enough to judge," Shara says. "I just know that if you don't stay away from Ben, if you don't stand a long while away from him, I'll have to do what I need to do."
"Touching." Yana looks down at her, head tilted. "If I didn't know better, Shara Bey, I'd say that you thought of him like a second son."
"He is like a second son to me."
And Shara can't help but be surprised that she's said it. She doesn't regret it, not in the slightest, and yet she is surprised. Little Ben has become all but a part of their family from the time that Ben was three and first made friends with Poe. And now that little Ben's grown up, he'a still a part of their family.
"Does Leia Organa know you think that?"
Shara doesn't think she does. She's not intending to steal Ben away from his mother anyways. She's mostly there to encourage him, as she always does. Other people seem to see a bomb waiting to go off. Shara sees a good man.
"No," she says.
"That should be an interesting conversation. I will say that you seem to have more care and consideration for him than his own mother ever did."
"Leia's not like that at all."
"You may know less about Leia Organa than you think you do." Yana says.
Even after the conversation is over, Shara returns to her house, where she speaks with Kes.
"Well, I guess we can add 'smug, condescending busybody' to the list of things he is," Kes says. "Honestly, I don't know he turned into such a cynical being, but it must have been pretty bad."
"I don't know." Shara sighs. "But we're going to go to Luke if this keeps up. So help me, we will."
***
Years pass. Yana seems to have toned down his outright lies to Ben if everything else seems to be an indication. Ben and Poe marry, and Shara doubts that she can be prouder of the both of them. Even watching them take the vows (with Leia, who's there if reluctantly; she doesn't seem to have much faith in Ben and Poe's marriage for some reason. Does she see Ben as a ticking time bomb who shouldn't have some degree of happiness? When will she -- and then Shara has to chide herself for all but thinking like Yana), Shara's beaming. This is one of the proudest moments of her life, and it involves two people she loves utterly.
It's at one point during the reception that Shara takes Ben and Poe aside. "Congratulations," she says. "Both of you."
"Thanks," Poe says, and Ben does the same.
Shara continues. "You're going to be good for each other, I can tell. You've definitely had your rough patches, but you do make the other better. I'm proud of you both."
They embrace tightly, and Shara promises herself that no matter what happens, they're always going to be her sons. Even when they're both fifty.
***
It's when Ben's twenty-fourth birthday is coming up, just on the horizon, that Senator Casterfo tells the galaxy that Leia is Vader's daughter, and Shara feels like she's been hit by a speeder. Vader, Leia's father, Ben's grandfather? It can't be. And yet Leia confirms it afterwards.
Watching it, Shara's heart breaks for Leia. Knowing that she had that monster hovering over her for most of her life even after his death...Shara has been fortunate to have a good father. At least Leia also had Bail Organa, or who knows what would have happened?
"He may have made her and Luke," Kes says. "But he sure wasn't their father. Or Ben's grandfather."
Shara can't agree more. And it doesn't change what Leia's done, her fight against the Empire. It doesn't change anything about who Leia is, except giving Shara more outrage over what Leia's "father" did to her. And it definitely doesn't change anything about Ben.
***
When the stormtroopers come, it feels like the Empire all over again. Shara shoots relentlessly, willing to do whatever she can to defend herself, Kes, and everyone else on Yavin IV. The stormtroopers fall, one by one, and Shara lowers her blaster.
She definitely didn't think she would be returning to battle, not like this, at least. She didn't think that stormtroopers would be invading the place that she set up for herself, Poe and Kes so long ago. She didn't think that they would actually be coming back. The more she knows, actually.
There are stormtroopers lying at her feet, and she keeps shooting before finally reaching Poe and Kes. She embraces them tightly in that moment, taking in the fact that they're alive, that they're safe, thank the stars.
"Where's Ben?" she says. "Is he okay?"
"He left." Poe's voice cracks. "Some...mission for Yana..."
A sickening sort of feeling goes through Shara, and she says, "We have to go find him. Before it's too late."
***
It's on the ship that she learns the truth. Ben's fallen. Yana -- not Yana, Snoke -- took ahold of him, twisted his beliefs until he thought that he was doing the right thing somehow. And Shara stands there, already in shock along with Poe and Kes, wondering how to take it all in.
She knows that she isn't going to give up. No matter what happens, she's not going to give up.
No matter what happens, she'll search the galaxies if it means that she can bring Ben home.
Summary: In a galaxy where Shara Bey lived, how would things have turned out differently?
Prompt: Dead Character(s) Alive
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
When Poe's eight, his mother very narrowly survives a terrible illness. Finding the cure has been difficult, but ultimately, he's glad that his mama's okay. It was scary, he thinks, that moment when he thought that she wasn't going to be okay.
His mama isn't too unsettled, though. She's very strong. Poe hopes that when he gets older, he can be as strong as she is, and more.
***
It's when Shara's first recovering that Ben brings her a present -- it's a drawing of her, Kes and Poe, along with a whole series of flowers. Shara smiles down at the young boy who she's come to see as like an additional son. He needs it, considering his homelife. "Ben," she says, "They're beautiful. Thank you."
"You're welcome." Ben looks up at her with big brown eyes. "Don't get sick again, Mrs. Dameron. It was really scary."
Shara sighs. "Getting sick is a part of life," she says. "We all get sick or injured. But most of it isn't dangerous."
She definitely hopes, at least, as she tries to explain it as best she can to a five year old, that she doesn't ever get this sick again.
***
Ben and Poe get older, and they get more passionate about certain things. Ben gets passionate about ending slavery, Poe gets passionate about ending a war. And Shara has to say that she's proud of them for all of that. When Ben successfully gets Haranka Navarre put away, it's amazing. She's proud of Ben like he's her own son.
Her own son. She definitely didn't expect that to happen, but Ben's made his way into her heart. The tiny, delicate-looking boy who gave her a drawing when she recovered from her illness, the teenager with a lot of spark and belief. He and Poe are both her sons, and she couldn't love them both more.
***
When Ben becomes a Knight, she's there at the ceremony, Leia and Han too. It's more than worth it seeing the look on Han's face when Ben comes out with his Padawan braid severed -- it's this look (which Leia has too) like their son is growing up, like their son is really going places. Shara can feel it all too well. They're all on their way, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. It's the same feeling that Shara got when Poe turned twenty-one -- the knowledge that they're all growing up so fast and time isn't going to slow down for them, not once, not ever.
Ben gives Poe his Padawan braid. There's something about the look on Poe's face where she swears that his eyes light up. It reminds her of when she and Kes...well, when she and Kes were first in love. The way that Poe looks at Ben sometimes, the hugs they've shared, Ben never stopping in terms of talking about how wonderful Poe is (which is quite sweet), things like that. They care about each other, and that's wonderful.
They keep the braid safe, with the other things Ben's given Poe over the years. The lightsaber crystals, for example. There's a whole drawer full of Ben's stuff, and Poe keeps it close over the years.
***
She hates Lisaris. Not for the first time, Shara Bey knows what it's like to feel this white hot fury at someone for harming her sons, or doubting her sons, or anything like that. Just knowing that he had Poe tortured, forced Ben to listen...
She can't really describe the thoughts that flow through her when she first hears the news, other than They hurt my sons, they hurt my wonderful sons and I couldn't protect them.
She should have been there. She should have been able to shield Poe and Ben from everything Lisaris did. At least he's in prison now. Thank the stars. And Ben managed to get in a good blow at him.
Ben still blames himself for Thomas' death. Like it's his fault, like he should have been faster somehow. But it's not. Ben did the best he could, and he doesn't deserve to blame himself.
(Then again, he never does)
The best that Shara can do now is be there for them both. Give them a chance when they need to talk. And she knows that no matter what, she's always going to be there for them both when they need it most.
***
When they get together, Shara's nothing but happy for the both of them. They deserve that happiness, they truly do. Even as Poe and Ben approach Shara and Kes to say that they're together, Shara hugs them both.
"That's wonderful," she says. "Both of you -- you deserve that happiness."
From behind her, Kes good-naturedly says, "About time", and they both laugh. Ben grins, seeming a bit bashful all the while, and Poe is beaming. Then Shara says, "Who else knows?"
"My dad knows," Ben says. "He's onboard with it. Mom's..."
"What's wrong, Ben?"
"My mom and uncle think I'm making a mistake."
And there's something about that where Shara's heart breaks. How can they even think that? When will they learn that Ben's not some ticking timebomb or anything of that sort, but just a human being? He deserves that much, doesn't he?
"You're not making a mistake, Ben," Shara says. "And you never will. Not to me."
***
There's something about this Master Yana where Shara can't help but feel uneasy about him. It's nothing concrete; for all intents and purposes, there's nothing to be afraid of. And yet there's something about him that gives Shara a sort of visceral disgust. It's the sort of disgust that fills her body, shaking her to the bone, and she doesn't know why. It isn't just irritation; it's a sort of feeling like she needs to get Ben as far away from this man as possible, because Yana's possibly hurting --
Even that idea gives her the chills. Why would Yana be hurting Ben? He hasn't done anything to hurt Ben. Still, she keeps an eye on him, trying to keep it all casual. Asks Ben questions about how his day was. It's one day that the truth slips out, when Ben brings up Saw Gerrera.
"Master Yana said that they tortured other beings," Ben says. "Is that true?"
Shara freezes. Then she says, "Is that what he's been teaching you, Ben?"
"It's what he told me," Ben says. "Saw...I spoke with Dad and he said Saw was an extremist, but it doesn't quite answer my question. The Rebellion knew, didn't they? And they let him do it. Who just...lets someone torture other innocent people?"
Shara closes her eyes. This is a topic that she never thought she'd have to cover with Ben, but there she is. For a moment, she feels almost like a younger woman trying to answer little Ben's questions. To think that he had been such a tiny boy that she and Kes actually gave him more helpings at dinner...
"I don't know anything about Saw," she says. "When Kes and I joined the Rebellion, he was already dead. But I will say that there were others in the Rebellion who never would have dreamed of supporting torture. I fought alongside those people."
Ben looks alarmed. "I...I wasn't trying to insult them -- "
"You didn't, Ben; Yana did." Shara sighs. "Don't..." Don't trust him, she wants to say, and Ben already picks up on it because his eyes grow bigger.
"He's not a bad man, Mrs. Dameron -- "
"Maybe not. But...take what he says with a grain of salt, at least." She puts a hand on Ben's shoulder. "Saw's actions don't represent the rest of us."
"Well, of course not," Ben says. "You don't torture people."
"No, Ben. I don't." And Shara doubts she ever will.
***
It's the next day that she confronts Yana personally. She's an average-sized woman, and Yana is a giant next to her, but she's still not going to be intimidated by him. She gets straight to the point. "What have you been teaching Ben?"
"The truth," Yana says.
"What truth could there be?"
Yana looks thoughtful. "What you've done...you claim to be righteous, but you have done things that say otherwise."
"So we're evil, are we?" Shara says. "Just because we wanted to help others, we're evil? What kind of sick, twisted logic are you operating on, Yana?"
"If you think that I don't know what that's like, you're wrong. When I was a younger man, I felt that all too well."
Shara almost can't imagine Yana as a younger man. It seems all but impossible. She definitely can't picture herself having anything in common with Yana.
Yana continues. "Does it offend you, that idea?"
"I don't know you well enough to judge," Shara says. "I just know that if you don't stay away from Ben, if you don't stand a long while away from him, I'll have to do what I need to do."
"Touching." Yana looks down at her, head tilted. "If I didn't know better, Shara Bey, I'd say that you thought of him like a second son."
"He is like a second son to me."
And Shara can't help but be surprised that she's said it. She doesn't regret it, not in the slightest, and yet she is surprised. Little Ben has become all but a part of their family from the time that Ben was three and first made friends with Poe. And now that little Ben's grown up, he'a still a part of their family.
"Does Leia Organa know you think that?"
Shara doesn't think she does. She's not intending to steal Ben away from his mother anyways. She's mostly there to encourage him, as she always does. Other people seem to see a bomb waiting to go off. Shara sees a good man.
"No," she says.
"That should be an interesting conversation. I will say that you seem to have more care and consideration for him than his own mother ever did."
"Leia's not like that at all."
"You may know less about Leia Organa than you think you do." Yana says.
Even after the conversation is over, Shara returns to her house, where she speaks with Kes.
"Well, I guess we can add 'smug, condescending busybody' to the list of things he is," Kes says. "Honestly, I don't know he turned into such a cynical being, but it must have been pretty bad."
"I don't know." Shara sighs. "But we're going to go to Luke if this keeps up. So help me, we will."
***
Years pass. Yana seems to have toned down his outright lies to Ben if everything else seems to be an indication. Ben and Poe marry, and Shara doubts that she can be prouder of the both of them. Even watching them take the vows (with Leia, who's there if reluctantly; she doesn't seem to have much faith in Ben and Poe's marriage for some reason. Does she see Ben as a ticking time bomb who shouldn't have some degree of happiness? When will she -- and then Shara has to chide herself for all but thinking like Yana), Shara's beaming. This is one of the proudest moments of her life, and it involves two people she loves utterly.
It's at one point during the reception that Shara takes Ben and Poe aside. "Congratulations," she says. "Both of you."
"Thanks," Poe says, and Ben does the same.
Shara continues. "You're going to be good for each other, I can tell. You've definitely had your rough patches, but you do make the other better. I'm proud of you both."
They embrace tightly, and Shara promises herself that no matter what happens, they're always going to be her sons. Even when they're both fifty.
***
It's when Ben's twenty-fourth birthday is coming up, just on the horizon, that Senator Casterfo tells the galaxy that Leia is Vader's daughter, and Shara feels like she's been hit by a speeder. Vader, Leia's father, Ben's grandfather? It can't be. And yet Leia confirms it afterwards.
Watching it, Shara's heart breaks for Leia. Knowing that she had that monster hovering over her for most of her life even after his death...Shara has been fortunate to have a good father. At least Leia also had Bail Organa, or who knows what would have happened?
"He may have made her and Luke," Kes says. "But he sure wasn't their father. Or Ben's grandfather."
Shara can't agree more. And it doesn't change what Leia's done, her fight against the Empire. It doesn't change anything about who Leia is, except giving Shara more outrage over what Leia's "father" did to her. And it definitely doesn't change anything about Ben.
***
When the stormtroopers come, it feels like the Empire all over again. Shara shoots relentlessly, willing to do whatever she can to defend herself, Kes, and everyone else on Yavin IV. The stormtroopers fall, one by one, and Shara lowers her blaster.
She definitely didn't think she would be returning to battle, not like this, at least. She didn't think that stormtroopers would be invading the place that she set up for herself, Poe and Kes so long ago. She didn't think that they would actually be coming back. The more she knows, actually.
There are stormtroopers lying at her feet, and she keeps shooting before finally reaching Poe and Kes. She embraces them tightly in that moment, taking in the fact that they're alive, that they're safe, thank the stars.
"Where's Ben?" she says. "Is he okay?"
"He left." Poe's voice cracks. "Some...mission for Yana..."
A sickening sort of feeling goes through Shara, and she says, "We have to go find him. Before it's too late."
***
It's on the ship that she learns the truth. Ben's fallen. Yana -- not Yana, Snoke -- took ahold of him, twisted his beliefs until he thought that he was doing the right thing somehow. And Shara stands there, already in shock along with Poe and Kes, wondering how to take it all in.
She knows that she isn't going to give up. No matter what happens, she's not going to give up.
No matter what happens, she'll search the galaxies if it means that she can bring Ben home.
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