Deep Thoughts Thirty Day Challenge, Day Four

[ladyofleithian]

4. What do you think it means to be in love?

That's a very good question, really, I don't think I've really been in love; I mean, I've had crushes in my elementary school that went away quickly, but I don't think I've ever really been in love. I've had guys that crushed on me in middle school (and one guy who crushed on me during this year. Let's say I was too afraid of hurting his feelings to say that I didn't feel the same way -- and it wasn't that I didn't like him; I mean, he was lovely, he shared the same interests as me, he was kind, but I just didn't feel the same way for him that he did for me. I mean...mostly, I kind of wanted a friend. I kind of had to break it to him at one point, he wasn't exactly happy...I haven't heard from him since. Which really sucks * ) but I've never really had a boyfriend really. (Or girlfriend, for that matter)

I think in terms of being in love...well, I think there's actually multiple types of being in love. There's the being in love thing where you're more idolizing someone -- and I've definitely had my idols. Sometimes to the point of near-blind fangirlism, though I've been trying to work on that. I guess it's just one of those moments where you just see someone who's just talented, friendly, passionate about what they do, intelligent, kind, etc. and you can't help but be blown away by them. I know those people have definitely stayed with me, and have influenced a lot of my works (see also Peter Jackson, Russell T. Davies, and others). There's also the being in love in the sort of this one person where you really look up to them -- sort of related to the one I mentioned earlier, but it can happen with people you know as well. I definitely know that some of my friends, a lot of my friends...well, they're amazing, and they make your world a better place for being in it. My Livejournal friends are definitely one example. The friends I have at this local sort of group I'm in are another example. (We basically have fun stuff and all. Book clubs, stuff like that. It was the same group where I went to that Christmas party i told you guys about last year) And a lot more. And then there's the being in love sort of thing where...well, it's romantic. I can't say that I've ever been in romantic love -- heck, when I write people being in love, I just draw on people being in romantic love from method writing (sort of feeling affection for a certain person) as well as learning from authors who managed to portray romantic love well. But in terms of romantic love -- well, I'm thinking that what I want with romantic love is someone I can be myself with, someone who understands me, someone I can laugh with and have fun with and hold onto when the going gets rough -- someone who, in a way, just makes me feel like I'm home whenever I'm with them.

So yeah, I guess that's what being in love feels like. Being in love -- well, it's someone who just makes your world brighter just for being in it. And there's a sense, whenever you're with that person, like you've come home. I'm not in love yet, but I can definitely imagine that's what it feels like.



* I think, really, considering that I have issues with socializing in general, I'm not certain about how well I'd handle romantic involvement. I could be wrong -- and the day I'm wrong, I'll probably jump up and down for joy, because it's one of those instances where being wrong is a good thing -- but I guess I just have my doubts. My parents have two differing stances on it; my dad says I should probably wait until I've finished with school ("you've got your whole life ahead of you" is what he basically said to me when I brought it up) and my mom says, basically, "Don't worry, [hadhafang], you'll find someone" -- I'm definitely hoping she's right. :)

5. Pick a song that projects the same mood as your day or week and explain.

6. Talk about a recent experience that has effected you greatly and how.

7. Think of the last person you hugged. What would you do if they vanished completely?

8. Write about the first moment that comes to your head when you read the words “childhood memory”

9. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

10. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Where do you think that defining line was?

11. Do you feel protective over someone?

12. If you could trade places with anyone for one week, who would it be and why?

13. Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?

14. When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?

15. What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.

16. What are you passionate about?

17. Who was the last person you kissed? (If you are still with them now, pick the person before them.) What would they say if they saw you now?

18. Talk about your extended family. Why do you think they are the way they are?

19. If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?

20. Again, pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.

21. Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?

22. How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.

23. Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years.

24. Are you more social or independent? Why do you think that is?

25. What do you think it means to be a good parent?

26. Talk about a moment where you were truly happy. What was happening? Who were you with?

27. Is there a friend you are worried about? Why do they have you concerned? Do you think they’ll be okay?

28. Would you rather someone tell you the truth up front but gently, or be lied to to spare your feelings?

29. If you could be doing the same things you do now, only in your own way, how would a normal day in your life go?

30. Look back on this last month and talk about it.