ladyofleithian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladyofleithian) wrote2022-01-12 07:17 am
ladyofleithian) wrote2022-01-12 07:17 am
Entry tags:
For trope_bingo
Title: Old Promises, New Steps
Summary: After Leia dies in the Raddus battle, Kylo turns himself in to the Resistance.
Prompt: Reunion
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
He felt her die when she was blown into space, and that’s part of why he’s here.
Hardly anyone recognizes him when he actually heads into the Raddus. He’s already wondering if he made the right choice; he knows full well that Poe won’t forgive him. (Justifiably so) There won’t be anyone on the Raddus who will forgive him, not really.
They mostly seem suspicious of him, overall. Suspicious, wondering where this stranger in black clothing showed up. He can’t deny any of that. He knows he hasn’t done anything yet to necessarily prove that he deserves to be trusted. He can feel their distrust, whispering — even whispering from people who do recognize him.
Ben Solo.
Han and Leia’s boy — what happened to him?
He was such a sweet kid…
They’re lying, of course. Ben Solo was never a sweet kid. He was a kid who tried bringing dead birds back to life before Leia thought he was creepy and sent him away. (Except it wasn’t out of a fear of him, was he? Did she even think he was creepy? Why did she send him away in the first place?)
Ben’s main point is that he wasn’t a sweet child. Never was. Maybe that was why Uncle Luke tried to kill him in the first place. Maybe.
Holdo is the one to order him locked up.
“We won’t torture him,” she says. “He may be Kylo Ren, but putting aside all questions of familial status, we don’t torture prisoners. It’s not what Leia would want.”
Of course not, Kylo thinks. After all, Leia was a torture survivor as well as an Alderaan survivor. He wonders how she felt knowing that her son tortured people.
Why didn’t she just switch off that part of her that still loved him? Can parents do that?
He doesn’t miss how Poe wets his lips (is he really wearing a flightsuit in a truly tacky shade of red? Dear Force…), how he actually thanks Holdo. It’s…yes, it’s for not torturing Kylo.
Nothing about it makes sense.
***
It’s said that in solitary confinement, people start hallucinating if they’re left alone for far too long. Kylo doesn’t have time to reach that stage before Poe actually arrives.
He looks…not just angry but confused. Hurt. “How could you possibly be Kylo Ren?” he says.
“People can change in six years,” Kylo says.
“Not that much.” Poe kneels in front of him; Kylo is struck by how it feels like a reversal of their positions on Jakku. “You’re…you’re nothing like the man who saved me after Kijimi.”
“I know.”
"You tortured me. Tortured numerous people before me. You massacred a village full of innocent people. You killed your own father. Possibly your mother too. All this…what’s the purpose of this, Ben? Why?”
For once, Kylo decides to tell him the truth.
He regrets it — regrets telling Poe about everything he did — when Poe actually gets angry.
"You…loved me?” Poe’s voice is deathly quiet. “No, Ben. This isn’t love. Doing all these destructive things…this isn’t how you show your love.”
And Kylo's at least agreeing with the parts about killing Han, about not being able to save Leia. As horrible as the possibility is…was there any other place where him committing crimes was even remotely questionable, at best?
***
Kylo tells them, about the hyperspace tracking. Holdo arranges for a strike team to be sent to the Supremacy to deactivate the tracker.
Reluctantly, she allows Kylo to come with them, as he knows the layout of the ship. “That doesn’t mean we aren’t going to take precautions.” she says.
She fastens a tracker around his wrist. A beeping, blinking thing that will let the Resistance know — vocally — if Kylo’s trying anything. Kylo knows Holdo’s only doing it because she’s required to, and she doesn’t want to use a potentially fatal-on-seeming-betrayal tracker. Old love for him.
Kylo still doesn’t know why, really.
Poe’s hand gently brushes over the wrist bearing the tracker. “You’re not thinking of taking it off, are you?” he says. There’s an underlying never-spoken message, the idea that he’s concerned for Kylo despite better judgment.
“You certainly changed your tune from when I was locked up,” Kylo says wryly.
“I know. But just because you’ve disappointed me,” and Kylo has a feeling that’s a vast understatement on Poe’s part, “Doesn’t mean that I want to see you hurt.”
“I should have known.”
After all, Poe isn’t good at hating people. Kylo is still amazed at how Poe running bizarrely reverential fingertips over the tracking bracelet makes his brain crash like an erratic terminal.
***
A few mind tricks later, a blast of Lightning later, and the tracker is just about destroyed. Already, Kylo feels tired even as they head back to the Raddus in time to jump to hyperspace.
***
Kylo’s in his own quarters, at least. The tracker’s been removed for right now, and Kylo is glad to have it off as they’re approaching Crait. A salt planet, the same place where Leia found out the truth about Bail Organa fighting for the Rebellion.
Kylo wonders, even as Poe checks for places the tracker might have accidentally cut into his flesh, if he’ll ever be half the person General Organa really was. He doubts he will. He really doubts it.
“Thank you,” Poe says. “For…helping us.”
"Changing your tune again, I see,” Kylo says wryly.
Poe sighs. “I don’t like what you did. It isn’t right. But we have history together, you and me. You protected me and helped me when I came back from Kijimi. That’s a big deal, at least.”
"It was the right thing to do.” He doesn’t deny how intimate Poe’s touch feels — how it makes him shiver. He wonders if he’d need it that much if Snoke had so much as patted his head and said “Good job.”
It doesn’t matter. At least it feels good.
“I’m thinking of staying here tonight,” Poe says. “Someone has to guard you. Plus, I do want to catch up with you, however you can.”
Kylo decides, all things considered, that that really isn’t a punishment at all.
Summary: After Leia dies in the Raddus battle, Kylo turns himself in to the Resistance.
Prompt: Reunion
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
He felt her die when she was blown into space, and that’s part of why he’s here.
Hardly anyone recognizes him when he actually heads into the Raddus. He’s already wondering if he made the right choice; he knows full well that Poe won’t forgive him. (Justifiably so) There won’t be anyone on the Raddus who will forgive him, not really.
They mostly seem suspicious of him, overall. Suspicious, wondering where this stranger in black clothing showed up. He can’t deny any of that. He knows he hasn’t done anything yet to necessarily prove that he deserves to be trusted. He can feel their distrust, whispering — even whispering from people who do recognize him.
Ben Solo.
Han and Leia’s boy — what happened to him?
He was such a sweet kid…
They’re lying, of course. Ben Solo was never a sweet kid. He was a kid who tried bringing dead birds back to life before Leia thought he was creepy and sent him away. (Except it wasn’t out of a fear of him, was he? Did she even think he was creepy? Why did she send him away in the first place?)
Ben’s main point is that he wasn’t a sweet child. Never was. Maybe that was why Uncle Luke tried to kill him in the first place. Maybe.
Holdo is the one to order him locked up.
“We won’t torture him,” she says. “He may be Kylo Ren, but putting aside all questions of familial status, we don’t torture prisoners. It’s not what Leia would want.”
Of course not, Kylo thinks. After all, Leia was a torture survivor as well as an Alderaan survivor. He wonders how she felt knowing that her son tortured people.
Why didn’t she just switch off that part of her that still loved him? Can parents do that?
He doesn’t miss how Poe wets his lips (is he really wearing a flightsuit in a truly tacky shade of red? Dear Force…), how he actually thanks Holdo. It’s…yes, it’s for not torturing Kylo.
Nothing about it makes sense.
***
It’s said that in solitary confinement, people start hallucinating if they’re left alone for far too long. Kylo doesn’t have time to reach that stage before Poe actually arrives.
He looks…not just angry but confused. Hurt. “How could you possibly be Kylo Ren?” he says.
“People can change in six years,” Kylo says.
“Not that much.” Poe kneels in front of him; Kylo is struck by how it feels like a reversal of their positions on Jakku. “You’re…you’re nothing like the man who saved me after Kijimi.”
“I know.”
"You tortured me. Tortured numerous people before me. You massacred a village full of innocent people. You killed your own father. Possibly your mother too. All this…what’s the purpose of this, Ben? Why?”
For once, Kylo decides to tell him the truth.
He regrets it — regrets telling Poe about everything he did — when Poe actually gets angry.
"You…loved me?” Poe’s voice is deathly quiet. “No, Ben. This isn’t love. Doing all these destructive things…this isn’t how you show your love.”
And Kylo's at least agreeing with the parts about killing Han, about not being able to save Leia. As horrible as the possibility is…was there any other place where him committing crimes was even remotely questionable, at best?
***
Kylo tells them, about the hyperspace tracking. Holdo arranges for a strike team to be sent to the Supremacy to deactivate the tracker.
Reluctantly, she allows Kylo to come with them, as he knows the layout of the ship. “That doesn’t mean we aren’t going to take precautions.” she says.
She fastens a tracker around his wrist. A beeping, blinking thing that will let the Resistance know — vocally — if Kylo’s trying anything. Kylo knows Holdo’s only doing it because she’s required to, and she doesn’t want to use a potentially fatal-on-seeming-betrayal tracker. Old love for him.
Kylo still doesn’t know why, really.
Poe’s hand gently brushes over the wrist bearing the tracker. “You’re not thinking of taking it off, are you?” he says. There’s an underlying never-spoken message, the idea that he’s concerned for Kylo despite better judgment.
“You certainly changed your tune from when I was locked up,” Kylo says wryly.
“I know. But just because you’ve disappointed me,” and Kylo has a feeling that’s a vast understatement on Poe’s part, “Doesn’t mean that I want to see you hurt.”
“I should have known.”
After all, Poe isn’t good at hating people. Kylo is still amazed at how Poe running bizarrely reverential fingertips over the tracking bracelet makes his brain crash like an erratic terminal.
***
A few mind tricks later, a blast of Lightning later, and the tracker is just about destroyed. Already, Kylo feels tired even as they head back to the Raddus in time to jump to hyperspace.
***
Kylo’s in his own quarters, at least. The tracker’s been removed for right now, and Kylo is glad to have it off as they’re approaching Crait. A salt planet, the same place where Leia found out the truth about Bail Organa fighting for the Rebellion.
Kylo wonders, even as Poe checks for places the tracker might have accidentally cut into his flesh, if he’ll ever be half the person General Organa really was. He doubts he will. He really doubts it.
“Thank you,” Poe says. “For…helping us.”
"Changing your tune again, I see,” Kylo says wryly.
Poe sighs. “I don’t like what you did. It isn’t right. But we have history together, you and me. You protected me and helped me when I came back from Kijimi. That’s a big deal, at least.”
"It was the right thing to do.” He doesn’t deny how intimate Poe’s touch feels — how it makes him shiver. He wonders if he’d need it that much if Snoke had so much as patted his head and said “Good job.”
It doesn’t matter. At least it feels good.
“I’m thinking of staying here tonight,” Poe says. “Someone has to guard you. Plus, I do want to catch up with you, however you can.”
Kylo decides, all things considered, that that really isn’t a punishment at all.