ladyofleithian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladyofleithian) wrote2020-07-20 11:40 pm
ladyofleithian) wrote2020-07-20 11:40 pm
Entry tags:
For trope_bingo
Title: I Dream Of Your Fists
Summary: Poe has nightmares still about his old spice running boss, Delia Glass.
Prompt: Hurt/Comfort
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warnings: Violence, emotional/psychological abuse
Author’s Notes: Title from “Pierrot The Clown” by Placebo, which I think fits Delia pretty well. (With her being the abuser, that is. Not that she was ever in a romantic relationship with Poe, Christ, no!)
Also, Ben’s character evaluation of Poe partially comes from how easily he was able to zone in on Rey’s abandonment issues in TFA and TLJ. (Interestingly — not that this means anything, mind you! — Kylo does his “Khan Speech”, a.k.a. evaluating others’ weaknesses, with a couple of his prisoners...but doesn’t do that with Poe. Make of that what you will) My new headcanon is that he has a bit of a Sherlock Scan ability, which kind of probably creeps people out. Here, I wanted to see what would happen if he used his abilities for good. Like, he clearly loves Poe, but he’s still kind of creepy.
Which is kind of an aesthetic of mine.
It’s after Poe wakes up from another nightmare about Delia Glass that he knows he has to call Ben, and that’s just what he does.
He can still remember the nightmare all too well. (Blood. So much blood. Sliced skin. The crack of a whip. So much of the violence and how he, as a seventeen year old, had been too much of a damn coward, too useless, too weak to step in) He can feel it too, how his body’s trembling, how his forehead’s all but caked with sweat. Poe’s twenty one years old now, not a child anymore, but he feels like that helpless child in that moment (stupid useless thing, stupid useless thing).
He contacts Ben. Types in his comm code. He’s more than relieved when Ben’s face pops up on the screen. “Oh, thank the stars, Poe,” Ben says. “I had a horrible nightmare that you were being hurt.”
“You too?” Poe says.
“You had a nightmare?”
“Delia.” Poe takes a shaky breath. "There was this man..."
He tells Ben about it. Tells Ben about the cut of the whip, the slice of it against the man’s skin, and how Poe almost wanted to say something, to take that man’s place...he expects Ben to be disgusted. He doesn’t expect to find compassion.
Somehow, Ben knows his failure — and he cares about him all the same. Still thinks he’s the most important thing in the galaxy.
“You were seventeen,” Ben says. “A child. Of course you were afraid.”
“But I could have done more. Delia...she’d treat this guy’s wounds, just enough to make sure he wouldn’t die. I...” Poe’s voice cracks. “She wanted to make an example of him. For me. It was after I hesitated to do something. And...and...it was my fault that guy got hurt...”
“Poe. It wasn’t.” A beat. “I will say you’re too hard on yourself. You love everybody.” There’s one of Ben’s unsettling sort of detective scans. Probably a side-effect of his empathic and telepathic abilities, still creepy. “I don’t mean like you’d kriff everybody in sight. That’s too simple. You just love people. You’d move the galaxy for the stranger on the street who needed a spare jacket.”
“It’s...an instinct.”
“A compulsion,” Ben says. “Like every time a voice cries out in prayer and you can’t answer, you feel guilty about not being a god.”
“Y-yeah.” Sometimes, Poe thinks, he swears Ben has a brain like a really advanced computer.
“I wouldn’t think the galaxy of you if you didn’t have that compassion,” Ben says. “I just worry you’ll blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”
Poe smiles. “You got philosophical while I was away,” he jokes.
Ben smiles as well. Then, more seriously, “I...care about you too much to see you like this. I really do.”
"I had a feeling you did,” Poe says.
A sort of eureka expression comes across Ben’s face. “What if I did something to help?” he says.
“I’m listening.”
“I don’t know if I can reach from Adani to Yavin IV, but I can try. I’ll try and keep the nightmares at bay...if you’re okay with it.”
“Ben,” Poe says softly, “You don’t have to do this for me.”
“Don’t you think someone needs to make sure you’re safe too?”
Poe nods, slowly. “But you’ll...overexert yourself.”
“You’re worth taking that risk for.”
Later, when Poe’s able to go back to sleep without any bad dreams, he’s grateful that he has Ben with him.
Summary: Poe has nightmares still about his old spice running boss, Delia Glass.
Prompt: Hurt/Comfort
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warnings: Violence, emotional/psychological abuse
Author’s Notes: Title from “Pierrot The Clown” by Placebo, which I think fits Delia pretty well. (With her being the abuser, that is. Not that she was ever in a romantic relationship with Poe, Christ, no!)
Also, Ben’s character evaluation of Poe partially comes from how easily he was able to zone in on Rey’s abandonment issues in TFA and TLJ. (Interestingly — not that this means anything, mind you! — Kylo does his “Khan Speech”, a.k.a. evaluating others’ weaknesses, with a couple of his prisoners...but doesn’t do that with Poe. Make of that what you will) My new headcanon is that he has a bit of a Sherlock Scan ability, which kind of probably creeps people out. Here, I wanted to see what would happen if he used his abilities for good. Like, he clearly loves Poe, but he’s still kind of creepy.
Which is kind of an aesthetic of mine.
It’s after Poe wakes up from another nightmare about Delia Glass that he knows he has to call Ben, and that’s just what he does.
He can still remember the nightmare all too well. (Blood. So much blood. Sliced skin. The crack of a whip. So much of the violence and how he, as a seventeen year old, had been too much of a damn coward, too useless, too weak to step in) He can feel it too, how his body’s trembling, how his forehead’s all but caked with sweat. Poe’s twenty one years old now, not a child anymore, but he feels like that helpless child in that moment (stupid useless thing, stupid useless thing).
He contacts Ben. Types in his comm code. He’s more than relieved when Ben’s face pops up on the screen. “Oh, thank the stars, Poe,” Ben says. “I had a horrible nightmare that you were being hurt.”
“You too?” Poe says.
“You had a nightmare?”
“Delia.” Poe takes a shaky breath. "There was this man..."
He tells Ben about it. Tells Ben about the cut of the whip, the slice of it against the man’s skin, and how Poe almost wanted to say something, to take that man’s place...he expects Ben to be disgusted. He doesn’t expect to find compassion.
Somehow, Ben knows his failure — and he cares about him all the same. Still thinks he’s the most important thing in the galaxy.
“You were seventeen,” Ben says. “A child. Of course you were afraid.”
“But I could have done more. Delia...she’d treat this guy’s wounds, just enough to make sure he wouldn’t die. I...” Poe’s voice cracks. “She wanted to make an example of him. For me. It was after I hesitated to do something. And...and...it was my fault that guy got hurt...”
“Poe. It wasn’t.” A beat. “I will say you’re too hard on yourself. You love everybody.” There’s one of Ben’s unsettling sort of detective scans. Probably a side-effect of his empathic and telepathic abilities, still creepy. “I don’t mean like you’d kriff everybody in sight. That’s too simple. You just love people. You’d move the galaxy for the stranger on the street who needed a spare jacket.”
“It’s...an instinct.”
“A compulsion,” Ben says. “Like every time a voice cries out in prayer and you can’t answer, you feel guilty about not being a god.”
“Y-yeah.” Sometimes, Poe thinks, he swears Ben has a brain like a really advanced computer.
“I wouldn’t think the galaxy of you if you didn’t have that compassion,” Ben says. “I just worry you’ll blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”
Poe smiles. “You got philosophical while I was away,” he jokes.
Ben smiles as well. Then, more seriously, “I...care about you too much to see you like this. I really do.”
"I had a feeling you did,” Poe says.
A sort of eureka expression comes across Ben’s face. “What if I did something to help?” he says.
“I’m listening.”
“I don’t know if I can reach from Adani to Yavin IV, but I can try. I’ll try and keep the nightmares at bay...if you’re okay with it.”
“Ben,” Poe says softly, “You don’t have to do this for me.”
“Don’t you think someone needs to make sure you’re safe too?”
Poe nods, slowly. “But you’ll...overexert yourself.”
“You’re worth taking that risk for.”
Later, when Poe’s able to go back to sleep without any bad dreams, he’s grateful that he has Ben with him.